Sweet Temptation (The Sweet Trilogy #4)(63)

“Who is it?” Patti asks. Her strong voice lifts me up and I smile.

“It’s Kaidan, ma’am.”

The door swings open and her eyes are wide, red hair wild. Excitement and love burst from her aura and she throws her arms around my midsection. Holy shit, I’m getting choked up. I hold her tightly, swallowing and blinking away the emotion. I won’t cry, but damn, this woman is shoveling something warm and golden into my hollow places. Just like when I’m with Anna, I can’t help but wonder how someone so good can care for someone like me.

She pulls back and grabs my face to look at me, then hugs me once more and releases. “Anna’s not here. She went for a run, but I’m sure she’ll be back soon. It’s too cold out there, the crazy girl!” She pats down her wavy hair, smiling. “Can I get you some tea?”

Disappointment tugs at my mood, because I should not linger.

“I’m sorry, miss. I’d love to, but I can’t stay.”

“I understand,” she whispers. “But she’ll be so upset she missed you.”

Will she? This sends more golden stuff pouring into me, though the foolishness of my actions is starting to splinter through my reckless peace now. I really shouldn’t be here.

Patti squeezes my shoulders as I bend to give her a quick kiss on the cheek and go. Her eyes are filled with moisture when I leave.

Nervousness invades my system as I walk quickly to the BMW.

Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .

I reach up and yank off my knitted cap to run my hand roughly through my hair, which I haven’t cut in the fourteen months since I moved. It waves over my ears as I pull the cap back on. I’m at the BMW now, opening the door. As disappointed as I am, I know it’s for the best that Anna doesn’t see me. I’ve worked so hard to—

I turn abruptly as something moves in my peripheral vision. I stand there and stare across the parking lot. From her light blue sneakers to her black yoga bottoms that fit every curve—bloody hell—to the thin jumper that can’t possibly be warm enough. She’s on the other side of the lot, her back to me. She stares up at the snow, oblivious to her surroundings. I want to shake her and yell, “I could have been a Duke or an axe murderer and you’d have never noticed me!”

But all I can do is stare. And then her name slips past my lips.

She freezes in front of her apartment stairwell and her head snaps up. Her cheeks, which were pink, go red as she stares back at me.

“Hi,” she whispers, and it’s so simple, so sweet, so Anna.

“Hi, yourself.”

I should leave. I shouldn’t have called her name. I shouldn’t be here. I know all of that, and yet, I can’t move.

“I hate Valentine’s Day,” she says.

My heart squeezes at the sound of sadness in her voice, but I grin at her blunt honesty. “Yeah, it’s shite.”

I want to tell her I’m fairly certain my father created this poor excuse for a holiday as a way to promote disappointment among lovers, but I don’t want to mention him.

She rewards me with a small smile, then falls serious. “Is everything okay?”

No. No, everything is not okay. Everything has been awful. But right now, in this moment, it feels perfect.

“I just needed to see that you’re well. And it seems you are.”

I want to go to her so badly that I grip the car door to keep from running. As we stand there, refusing to look away, it’s as if each of the past fourteen months is stripped away, one by one, and we’re back in that New York alley kissing. Any progress I’ve made to separate us is ruined. I know it, and she knows it, because she’s moving toward me, and she’s mirroring the need I feel. She’s stepping off the pavement and walking my way.

That’s right, little Ann.

I’m finally going to touch her again. Then I’m going to get to the bottom of what’s going on with this “traveling” business. I’ll worry about the consequences later. Right now, Anna is mine.

I move to shut the door and go to her when I feel the itch of a tingle across my neck. My eyes flash to the gray winter sky and I’m blasted with a sight I recognize well.

Two whisperers.

“Fuck,” I whisper. I step back, and it kills me. Anna sees them and rushes between two cars, fear in her eyes. “Don’t try to follow me,” I tell her, because it’s just the kind of thing she’d do. “I’m going to the airport.” She nods her understanding that I’m not in town to stay, and her chin trembles.

My skin turns to ice in the cold air as I move to climb back into the car, leaving as quickly as I can, so as not to endanger her by being seen together.

That is why I cannot seek out Anna. Not even for a moment.

When I’m well enough away, I smack the steering wheel with my palms. I shout every obscenity I can at the top of my lungs. I rip my hat off and throw it on the floor.

We will never be safe. She can never be mine.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Rage

“The secret side of me I never let you see

I keep it caged but I can’t control it, so stay away from me.”

—“Monster” by Skillet

Seeing Anna, even briefly, gets me through the next few months, though I can’t concentrate for shite. My nineteenth birthday comes and goes without a blip on the radar except a text from the twins and a pity call from Blake.