Suddenly You(74)

“Your father had the codicil written not long ago,” Tode remarked. “Perhaps it will interest you to know that he followed your achievements with a great deal of interest. He seemed to believe that you were like him in many ways.”

“He was probably right,” Jack said, self-disgust slithering through him.

Tilting his head a bit, the solicitor regarded him thoughtfully. “The earl was a very complicated man. Apparently he had everything in the world that one could wish for, and yet the poor fellow seemed to lack the talent for happiness.”

The turn of phrase interested Jack, temporarily pulling him from the well of bitterness. “Does it require a particular talent to be happy?” he asked, still staring at his whiskey glass.

“I’ve always believed so. I am acquainted with a tenant farmer on your father’s lands who lives in a crude stone cottage with a dirt floor, yet he has always struck me as finding far more pleasure in life than your father. I’ve come to think that the condition of happiness is something a man chooses, rather than something that merely befalls one.”

Jack shrugged at the observation. “I wouldn’t know.”

They sat together in silence, until Mr. Tode cleared his throat and stood. “I wish you well, Mr. Devlin. I will take my leave for now, and in short time I will send the materials relevant to your inheritance.” He paused in a moment of patent embarrassment before adding, “I’m afraid there is no diplomatic way to say this…however, the earl’s legitimate children have asked me to tell you that they wish to have no communication with you of any kind. In other words, the funeral…”

“Have no fear, I won’t be attending,” Jack said with a brief, ugly laugh. “You may inform my half brothers and sisters that I have as little interest in them as they have in me.”

“Yes, Mr. Devlin. If I may be of assistance to you, please do not hesitate to inform me.”

After the solicitor had left, Jack stood and paced around the room. The whiskey had gone to his head—it seemed his usual tolerance for the stuff had disappeared. His head ached, and he felt empty, hungry, weary. A mirthless smile tugged at his mouth. It had been a hell of a day so far, and the morning wasn’t even over.

He felt curiously removed from his past and his future, as if he were somehow standing outside his own life. Mentally Jack cataloged all the reasons he should be content. He had money, property, land, and now he had inherited a family estate, a birthright that should have been given to a legitimate heir rather than a bastard. He should have been very pleased.

But he did not care about any of it. He wanted only one thing—to have Amanda Briars in his bed. Tonight and every night. To own her, and to be owned by her.

Somehow Amanda was the only thing that would prevent him from ending like his father, rich and callous and mean-spirited. If he could not have her…if he had to spend the rest of his life watching her grow old with Charles Hartley…

Jack swore, his pacing becoming more agitated until he circled the room like a caged tiger. Amanda had made what was clearly a good choice for herself. Hartley would never encourage her to do something unladylike or unconventional. He would shroud her in comfortable propriety, and before long the impulsive woman who had once tried to hire a prostitute for her birthday would be buried beneath layers of respectability.

Jack stopped by the window, flattening his hands on the cool pane. Grimly he acknowledged that it was far better for Amanda to marry a man like Hartley. No matter what it took, Jack would quell his own selfish desires and think more of her needs than his own. If it killed him, he would accept the match and wish them both well, so that Amanda would never realize how he felt about her.

Amanda smiled up at her soon-to-be-betrothed. “At what time will you make the announcement, Charles?”

“Talbot has given me leave to do so whenever I wish. I thought we would wait until the dancing begins, and you and I would start the first waltz as a betrothed couple.”

“A perfect plan.” Amanda tried to ignore the unsettled feeling in her stomach.

They stood together on one of the outside balconies that extended from the drawing room of Mr. Thaddeus Talbot’s home. The party was well attended, with over a hundred and fifty guests having gathered to enjoy the fine music and bountiful delicacies that were standard at any of Talbot’s events. Tonight Amanda and Charles would announce their pending nuptuals to their friends and acquaintances. Afterward the banns would be read in church for three weeks, and they would have a small wedding in Windsor.

Amanda’s sisters, Sophia and Helen, had been delighted by the news that their younger sibling was to wed. I fully approve of your choice, and cannot conceal my great pleasure that you paid heed to my counsel, Sophia had written. From all reports, Mr. Hartley is a decent and quiet-living gentleman, his pedigree estimable, and his fortune well founded. I have no doubt that this marriage will be of great benefit to all parties concerned. We look forward to welcoming Mr. Hartley into our family, dear Amanda, and I do congratulate you on your most judicious selection of a partner…

Judicious, Amanda thought with silent amusement. It was hardly the way she might have once wished to describe her choice of a fiancé, but it would certainly do.

Hartley glanced around to make certain they were not being observed, then bent to kiss her forehead. It felt odd to Amanda to be kissed by a man with a beard, the softness of his lips surrounded by the wiry brush of hair.