Suddenly You(70)

Amanda colored as she stared at him. “You’d heard the rumors, then.”

“Yes. But I could see that whatever had occurred between you in the past was definitely over.”

Amanda let out a small, dry laugh. “Apparently it is not quite over,” she managed to reply.

“Devlin is not willing to do his duty by you?”

Charles’s reaction was not at all what she might have expected. Instead of withdrawing from her in distaste, he seemed as calm and friendly as ever, genuinely interested in her welfare. Amanda knew that he was too much of a gentleman to betray her confidence. Anything she told him would not be turned into gossip-fodder. It was a tremendous relief to confide in someone, and she found herself returning the pressure of his grip as she spoke.

“He does not know, nor will he ever. Jack has made it quite clear in the past that he does not want to marry. And he would certainly not be the kind of husband I would wish for. That is why I am going away…I cannot stay in England as an unwed mother.”

“Of course. Of course. But you must tell him. I do not know Devlin well, but he must be given the opportunity to take responsibility for you and the child. It is not fair to him, or the child, to keep such a secret.”

“There is no point in telling him. I know what his response will be.”

“You cannot bear this burden alone, Amanda.”

“Yes, I can.” Suddenly she felt very calm, and she even smiled slightly as she looked into his broad, concerned face. “Truly, I can. The child will not suffer at all, and neither will I.”

“Every child needs a father. And you will need a husband to help and sustain you.”

Amanda shook her head decisively. “Jack would never propose to me, and if he did, I would never accept.”

The words seemed to unlock some secret daredevil in Charles, some extraordinary impulse that exhorted him to blurt out a question that amazed her. “What if I proposed to you?”

She stared at him without blinking, wondering if he had taken leave of his senses. “Charles,” she said patiently, as if half suspecting that he had not understood her before, “I am expecting another man’s child.”

“I would like to have children. I would regard this one as my own. And I would very much like to have you as my wife.”

“But why?” she asked with a bewildered laugh. “I’ve just told you that I’m going to have a child out of wedlock. You know what that indicates about my character. I am not at all the kind of wife you require.”

“Let me be the judge of your character, which I find as estimable as ever.” He smiled into her pale face. “Do me the honor of becoming my wife, Amanda. There is no need for you to move far away from family and friends. We would have a very good life together. You know we suit each other. I want you…and I want this child as well.”

“But how can you accept someone else’s bastard as your own?”

“Perhaps many years ago I would not have. But now I am entering the autumn of my life, and one’s perspective changes greatly with maturity. I am being offered a chance at fatherhood, and, by God, I will take it.”

Amanda regarded him with astonished silence, and then an unwilling laugh escaped her. “You surprise me, Charles.”

“You have surprised me,” he returned, his beard parting with a smile. “Come, do not take a long time to consider my proposal—it is hardly flattering.”

“If I did accept,” she said uncertainly, “you would claim this baby as your own?”

“Yes—on one condition. You must first tell Devlin the truth. I could not in good conscience rob another man of the chance to know his own child. If what you say about him is true, he will certainly not cause any trouble for us. He will even be glad to be absolved of the responsibility for you and the child. But we must not begin a marriage with lies.”

“I can’t tell him.” Amanda shook her head decisively. She could not conceive what his response might be. Anger? Accusation? Sullen resentment or mockery? Oh, she would rather burn at the stake than have to present him with news of his unborn bastard!

“Amanda,” Charles said softly, “it is likely that someday he will find out. You cannot spend years with that possibility hanging over your head. You must trust me in this…telling him about the child is the right thing to do. After that, you have nothing to fear from Devlin.”

She shook her head unhappily. “I don’t know if it would be fair to any of us if I agreed to marry you, and I can’t be certain that telling Jack about the baby is the right thing. Oh, I wish I knew what to do! I used to be so certain about the correct choices…I used to think I was so wise and practical, and now the sterling character I thought I possessed is in shambles, and—”

Charles interrupted with a quiet chuckle. “What do you wish to do, Amanda? The choice is simple. You may go abroad and live among strangers, and raise your child without a father. Or you may stay in England and marry a man who respects and cares for you.”

Amanda regarded him uncertainly. Put that way, the choice given to her made everything clear. A curious sense of relief mingled with resignation caused her eyes to sting. Charles Hartley was so quietly strong, with a flawless moral compass that amazed her. “I had no idea you could be so persuasive, Charles,” she said with a sniffle, and he began to smile.