Rush (Breathless #1)(51)

Mia’s eyes became troubled and instantly on the heels came a look of sympathy. He hated that. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. It wasn’t why he was spilling his guts in some sappy, postcoital, snugly moment. He just wanted Mia to understand.

“If that kind of relationship no longer worked for her I wouldn’t have held that against her. All she had to do was be honest and say she wanted out. I would have provided generously for her. I would have supported her decision. Instead, she went on the attack and painted me as some abusive monster. That I’ll never forgive. I learned a very hard lesson with my marriage to her. I never went into another relationship without means of protecting myself from those kinds of accusations. It may be viewed as extreme, but I don’t enter into a single relationship without signed, detailed contracts. I don’t do one-night stands. I don’t have casual sex. If a woman is going to be in my bed, she has all the facts and she’s signed a contract that protects both of us.”

“Maybe she needed to convince herself that you were this terrible person in order for her to be able to leave,” Mia said softly. “I can’t imagine walking out on a marriage is ever easy.”

Gabe snorted. “Tell that to my dad. You’re naïve, Mia. Sweet, but naïve. People walk out of marriages every day. I’ve always wondered what makes someone wake up one morning and say, ‘Hey, this is the day I’m going to ditch my husband or wife.’ Loyalty should count for something. Nobody wants to work it out nowadays. It’s too easy to get a divorce lawyer and move on.”

She put her hand on his chest, the gesture infinitely soothing. He liked her touching him. God help him, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough. He’d take and take from Mia until there was nothing left. Until she became a Lisa and could endure it no longer. He never wanted another woman to feel as Lisa had evidently felt. It was far better to take his pleasure and move on. The very thing he accused Lisa and his father of. Maybe he was no better than they were after all.

“Not everyone will betray you, Gabe,” she said quietly. “There are many who are loyal to you. You can’t control everything. You can’t control how someone feels about you. Or what makes them tick. You can only control how you react, how you act, how you think and feel.”

“You’re amazingly wise for someone as young as you are,” he said wryly. “Why do I just feel like I’ve been schooled by someone fourteen years younger than me?”

She leaned over, surprising him with her kiss. Her lips lingered over his, warm and so damn sweet. Her bare br**sts brushed over his chest, and God help him, his dick hardened instantly.

“You’re too hung up on this age thing,” she murmured. “Maybe I’m just smart.”

He chuckled and then claimed her lips again, his body already revving to life now that she was pressed against him again. But she hesitated and pushed back against him, her face going serious. He didn’t like that. He wanted her next to him, but it was clear she had one more thing she wanted to get off her chest.

“We need to get something straight now. I get the point you were trying to make to your dad. Giving me a heads-up wouldn’t have been out of line, just so you know. It pissed me off to see you wrapped around Blondie, and if that kind of crap ever happens again, I’ll walk out just like I did tonight. Only next time you won’t be able to sweet-talk your way back into my good graces. I get that you have all the power in this relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and watch you feel up another woman while I’m forced to watch.”

She regarded him warily, like she was certain what she’d said was going to make him angry, but he threw back his head and laughed. When he looked back at her, she looked bemused and a little disgruntled over his reaction.

“You’re cute when you’re pissed,” he said, still grinning. “Maybe you aren’t as smart as you think if you agreed to this insanity.”

“Or maybe it’s the best decision I ever made,” she replied, her tone suddenly serious, her eyes regarding him somberly.

“That’s debatable, but I’m not going to spend time questioning my good fortune,” he said.

He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her beneath him, his c**k already probing between her legs. He hoped to hell she was ready for him, because he couldn’t wait. Couldn’t spend another second outside her body.

But something about the conversation, the look in her eyes, the way she seemed so accepting, made him hesitate. Damn it, he’d take it slow this time. Give her what she deserved instead of a hard f**king that made him little better than an animal.

He didn’t have to be this cold, mistrustful person. For once he could concentrate on someone else’s pleasure instead of being selfish. For Mia he could do this. He wanted to do it. She deserved nothing less.

Instead of plunging into her, he kissed her. Softly. Without as much aggression as he had before. He nibbled delicately at her lips, feeding on them, coaxing her to open under his advance. His tongue swept over hers, teasing, flirting. Just the briefest touch and then he followed it with another. And another.

He slid his mouth down her jawline to her ear where he toyed with the lobe, swirling his tongue around the shell and then sucking lightly just below on the sensitive skin of her neck. He felt her shiver, felt immense satisfaction that he was bringing her pleasure.