Rush (Breathless #1)(114)

“Mia didn’t want you to know,” Gabe said. “She didn’t want to hurt you, and she didn’t want you to lose your mind. I agreed because I only wanted her, and I didn’t give a shit what I had to do to have her.”

“What is she to you, Gabe? Entertainment? A challenge because she’s untouchable? She’s way out of your league and you damn well know it.”

Gabe slammed his fist down on the desk, glaring Jace down. “I want to goddamn marry her.”

Jace lifted one eyebrow. “You swore you’d never marry again after Lisa.”

Gabe pushed off the desk and turned, pacing a tight line in front of Jace’s desk.

“I said a lot of things. And no other woman has ever made me second-guess my decisions. But Mia…She’s different. I can’t live without her, Jace. With or without your blessing, I’m going after her. I can’t be happy without her. I’ll never be happy without her. I want her in my life. Every goddamn day. I want to take care of her, make sure she never has to worry for anything that I can give her. Fuck me, but I’m even imagining children. At my age. All I can think of are daughters who look just like her. I picture her round with my child and it’s the most mind-blowing feeling in the world. Everything that I’ve sworn off in my life, she has me reevaluating. Because of her. It’s all her. I’ve never felt this way about another woman. I never will.”

“Whoa,” Jace breathed out. “Sit down. You’re making me crazy pacing around my office like that.”

Gabe paused and then finally eased into the chair in front of Jace’s desk, but he was going stir crazy in this confined space. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be with Mia. Wanted to go to her and throw himself on her mercy. She’d said he had to crawl. Goddamn it, he’d crawl.

“You’re serious about her,” Jace said, disbelief evident in his voice. “You’re in love with her. She isn’t some passing entertainment you amuse yourself with and then move on.”

“You’re pissing me off now,” Gabe growled.

Jace shook his head. “Holy shit. I never thought I’d see the day. How did this happen? Have I been a complete dumbass for not seeing this?”

“It’s better we not delve into a conversation that’s only going to piss you off,” Gabe said. “It’s not important how long. What’s important is that I love her, and I hope to God she still loves me and that she can forgive me.”

Jace winced. “I don’t know, man. She’s pretty pissed. You hurt her. A lot. You’ve never had to work to have a woman. They’ve always dumped themselves onto your lap. Mia…She’s different. She’s of the mind that she deserves a man who’ll stand up for her and fight for her. You didn’t do any of those things, and she’s not going to so easily forget that.”

“Don’t you think I know all of that?” Gabe said in frustration. “Hell, I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to speak to me again. But I have to try. I can’t just let her go.”

Jace cupped a hand to the back of his neck. “Jesus, man, you never like to do anything simple, do you? I’m a damn idiot for not beating the crap out of you and tossing you out of my office. I can’t believe that I actually feel sorry for your ass right now.”

Some of the tension knotting Gabe’s chest eased. He met Jace’s stare. “I’m sorry, man. I handled this all wrong. You have to know that I’d never do anything to intentionally compromise our friendship. And I damn sure wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt Mia. Not again. Never again. I’ve hurt her too many times already. If she’ll forgive me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure she never has reason to cry again.”

“That’s all I want for her,” Jace said softly. “I want her to be happy. If you can do that, then you and I are good.”

“I’m damn sure going to try,” Gabe said, determination gripping him by the neck.

“Good luck,” Jace said. “Something tells me you’re going to need it.”

Chapter forty-two

Mia tugged her coat tighter around her as she walked the last block to her apartment. It had been hard to go to work in the brisk chill after spending the last several days on a beach in the Caribbean.

Jace and Ash had worked hard to cheer her up and ensure she had a good time, and she had to admit, it had been a lot of fun. It had been a while since she and Jace had gotten to have an actual vacation together and with Ash there, things had been lighthearted and happy.

That wasn’t to say that she hadn’t spent a fair amount of time brooding over Gabe, but she’d managed to enjoy herself. If anyone had told her that she could have a good time so quickly after she and Gabe had split up, she wouldn’t have believed them.

Still, going in to La Patisserie instead of the HCM building this morning had been hard. It had been a slap in the face and a sharp reminder of Gabe’s betrayal. She liked her job with Gabe. Yeah, it had been a fluff job that had been a cover for their sexual affair, but as time had gone on, she’d taken on more responsibility and she’d made the job her own. She’d proven to herself that she could take on a challenge and nail it.

Now she was back to selling pastries and filling customers’ coffee cups. And while before it had never bothered her, now she was unsettled and she wanted more. More of a challenge. It was time for her to stop being afraid and to go out there and make her future. No one else was going to do that for her. Already she was perusing her career options. Looking at job openings that would fit her level of education and experience—not that she had much.