Rush (Breathless #1)(111)

Mia blew out her breath. “It’s a long story. I wasn’t completely honest with you about my relationship with Gabe. It’s more complicated than that.”

Caroline’s eyebrows bunched together. “I’m listening.”

Mia poured out the entire story, leaving nothing out. By the time she got to tonight’s debacle, Caroline’s eyes were wide and then they narrowed in disgust.

“Can’t believe he hung you out to dry like that. You were already planning to tell Jace everything.”

Mia slowly nodded. “He stood there and lied to me, Caro. I know he has feelings for me. And he stood there and gave me this bullshit about how I was getting too emotionally invested, blah-blah. I wanted to choke him.”

“Chickenshit,” Caroline said rudely. “You deserve better than that, Mia. You deserve someone who stands up for you and who’ll risk everything just as you have.”

“I agree,” Mia said. “I told him if he ever wakes up and realizes what a mistake he made that he’ll have to crawl to get me back.”

Caroline laughed. “Atta girl. And he should have to grovel.”

Mia raised her mug in a toast. “Damn right.”

Caroline’s expression sobered. “So what do you think is going to happen between Jace and Gabe? They’re business partners as well as best friends. Jace seems pretty pissed.”

“I don’t know,” Mia said honestly. “This is why I never wanted Jace to find out. Maybe I was being too naïve, or maybe I didn’t expect Gabe and I to be so hot and heavy into things. I thought it would be simple to keep it from Jace. I guess I thought Gabe would want me a couple of times a week and the rest of the time I’d carry on as usual. It’s also why we wanted to tell Jace about us, so we wouldn’t have to hide it any longer.”

Fresh anger surged into her blood until she was flushed with it.

“Damn it. Can you believe the timing? All we needed was one more day. If Jace had just called Gabe to let him know he was back in town, we would have told him together and everything would have been fine. Gabe was falling for me, Caro. He was falling and it scared the shit out of him. And then Jace bursting in and saying all those horrible things. I could see the guilt on Gabe’s face. Especially after what happened in Paris.”

Caroline’s face wrinkled in sympathy. “I’m sorry, Mia. It sucks. But you deserve better than Gabe Hamilton.”

“Yeah, I do,” Mia said in a low voice. “I deserve more for sure. But I wanted him so much. I love him, Caro. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about that.”

Chapter forty

Mia left La Patisserie, her heart heavy as sadness crept into every part of her soul. She should be happy. She’d gotten her old job back. Louisa and Greg had been thrilled to see her and had offered her flexible hours. The truth was that she wanted to work as much as possible so she didn’t have time to think. So she didn’t have to spend every minute of her day reliving every moment she’d spent with Gabe.

And La Patisserie was temporary this time. She’d made it clear to Louisa and to Greg that she was pursuing other jobs. She’d work at the café while she explored other possibilities and then she’d take that step out, stop hiding and embrace her future. A future without Gabe Hamilton.

She shivered in the damp cold. It was a gray, overcast, dreary day perfectly suited to her mood. She hadn’t slept the night before—how could she? Caroline had stayed up with her until she’d started yawning and Mia had shooed her to bed. And then she’d lain in her own bed, staring up at the ceiling, remembering every minute of her relationship with Gabe.

Checking her watch, she realized she’d have to get a cab when she’d intended on walking. Jace would be at her apartment soon, and she didn’t want him freaking out on her again.

Tugging her coat tighter around her, she waded through the passersby to get to the corner so she could hail a taxi.

The biggest thing she struggled with was having to return to a routine she’d once found comfortable and reassuring. She hadn’t stepped out of the box before. Hadn’t taken risks.

Being with Gabe had definitely taken her out of her comfort zone, and she’d begun to really live. Experience the world around her. Take on new challenges.

No, the biggest thing wouldn’t be readjusting to her old routine. Her biggest challenge would be being without Gabe.

She’d come to savor every moment with him. They’d had good times. He was a damn liar if he thought he wasn’t as emotionally invested as she was. She knew him better than that. Knew he was developing feelings for her. And maybe that was her biggest crime of all.

Making him fall in love with her.

If he hadn’t developed stronger feelings for her, they’d probably still be together.

After three taxis passed her by, the fourth pulled over and she got in, grateful to be out of the cold. After directing the cabbie to her apartment, she sat back, staring out the window as the city rolled by.

What was Gabe doing now? Had he gone in to work today? Was he moving on as if she’d never occupied a place in his life? Or was he as miserable as she was?

She dearly hoped so. If there was any justice in this world, he’d be suffering every bit as much as she was.

When she pulled up at her apartment, she saw Jace’s car out front. Ash was standing with the door open, and when Mia got out of the taxi, he waved her over.