Rush (Breathless #1)(113)

The Mia in those pictures was the Mia he’d done his damnedest to destroy. He’d taken the life and joy right out her eyes, and he’d damn sure taken her smile.

He ran his finger over the image of her in the snow, holding up her hands in delight as she tried to catch snowflakes. She was so goddamn beautiful that she took his breath away.

He’d spent Thanksgiving with his parents, their happiness and growing contentment almost too much for him to bear. It was hard for him to be happy that they were on the path to reconciliation when his own life was in shambles.

And he only had himself to blame.

After leaving his parents’ home, he’d returned to his apartment to find it empty and barren of life. And then he’d done something he rarely ever did. He’d gotten roaring drunk and attempted to drown his sorrows in a bottle—or three.

He’d self-medicated the entire weekend, itchy and impatient because he knew that Jace and Ash had taken Mia on holiday to the Caribbean. She was out of reach, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

He’d hurt her when he’d sworn never to do so again. He’d betrayed her trust. He’d turned his back because he’d been overwhelmed by guilt and self-loathing for how he’d treated her. Like she was some dirty secret that he was ashamed of.

Fuck that. He wanted the world to know she was his. He didn’t give a damn what Jace thought. Didn’t give a shit if Jace approved. All he cared about was making Mia happy. Making her smile and light up the way she did when she was with him.

But he’d thoroughly extinguished that light when he’d told her that it was over. As if he’d already grown tired of her and was ready to move on.

He’d never get over her. He knew that without hesitation or doubt.

He loved her.

As deeply as it was possible to love another person. And God, he wanted her. Every day. In his life. As much a part of him as he would be of her.

Without rules, conditions. Fuck the goddamn contract.

How many ways could a man ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him?

Mia was so right. He’d known it then, when her words had hit him right in the gut. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn’t need time or space to realize that.

He should have never let her walk out of his apartment that night with Jace and Ash. When she’d knelt before him and begged him to explain to Jace, he should have spoken up then. She was right. He hadn’t fought for her. He’d been too numb, too consumed with guilt over what he’d allowed to happen.

Fear squeezed his chest. It was an alien sensation, new and overwhelming. What if Mia wouldn’t forgive him? What if she wouldn’t take him back?

He had to make her understand that this wasn’t a meaningless, sexual fling.

He wanted f**king forever.

What did he have to offer her? He’d already failed at one marriage. He was considerably older than she was. She should be having fun at her age, taking on the world, not tied to a demanding, overbearing man like himself.

There were a dozen reasons why he should leave her alone and let her move on with her life. But he wasn’t a big enough person to let her go. She was the only woman who was ever going to make him happy. Make him whole. And he couldn’t let her walk out of his life. Not without one hell of a fight.

He checked his watch, willing the time to pass. And then his intercom buzzed and Eleanor’s soft voice filled his office.

“Mr. Hamilton, Mr. Crestwell is in.”

Gabe didn’t respond. He’d told Eleanor to let him know the minute Jace arrived to his office. They hadn’t spoken since that night. They’d avoided each other the next day in the office. And then neither had been into the office the rest of the holiday week, and Gabe hadn’t wanted that confrontation so soon after the night in his apartment. Emotions had run too high.

But he couldn’t wait a minute longer. He and Jace had to air this out, and Gabe had to let Jace know that he wasn’t backing down. Whether he had Jace’s blessing and approval or not, he wasn’t letting Mia go. If it meant the end of their friendship and of their business relationship, so be it.

Mia was worth it all.

He strode down the hall, knowing he looked like shit. He didn’t care. He had to get this off his chest.

He pushed Jace’s door open without knocking. Jace looked up and his face grew cold. His eyes hardened as he stared back at Gabe.

“We have to talk,” Gabe said in a terse voice.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Jace bit out.

Gabe shut the door and locked it behind him. “That’s too damn bad because I have a lot to say to you.”

He planted his palms on Jace’s desk, leaned over and leveled his stare at his friend.

“I’m in love with Mia,” he said bluntly.

Surprise flashed in Jace’s eyes and Jace sat back, staring harder at Gabe.

“You have a damn funny way of showing it,” Jace said in disgust.

“I f**ked up. But I’m not letting her go. You and I need to come to an understanding because I don’t want her hurt any more than she already is by this situation. I want her to be happy and she can’t be happy if we’re at each other’s throats.”

“You didn’t give our friendship a whole hell of a lot of consideration when you jumped into bed with my sister,” Jace said icily. “You knew I’d be pissed. Hell, I warned you off that very first day, Gabe, and you f**king lied to me.”