Rome (Marked Men #3)(76)

“Jimmy. What are you doing here?”

“Uh … you didn’t answer any of the e-mails I sent you and your dad refused to give me a number to reach you. I just …” He trailed off and I realized he was staring at Rome and not really looking at me. He sighed deeply and shook his head. “I wanted to see you. To get some kind of closure and tell you how very sorry I am for what I put you through. I know it’s too little too late, but I just had to do it now that I understand how wrong it was.”

If Rome was stiff before, he turned into a statue behind me now. I pulled out of his grip and walked toward my ex. The blood that was rushing to my head was making me deaf and the shining light of my past staring me in the face was making me blind. I think Nash said something to me, think Rome called my name, but all I could see was Jimmy and all I could feel was everything I had wanted to do to him, all the things I had wanted to make him realize five years ago. Seeing him thrust me back in time even if I had strong hands trying to hold me in place in the present.

Operating on ancient rage and embarrassment, I pulled back a hand and socked him in the gut as hard as I could. I owed it to him, but it didn’t do anything to make me feel any better. In fact all the old feelings of betrayal and hurt were starting to fade simply because they were irrelevant in the face of how ridiculous it was that he thought I would want to hear anything he had to say. I was still mad, but for other reasons. He let out an “oof” and doubled over. I contemplated smacking him across the face as well, but Nash got to me first and handed me off to my chuckling guy, who locked down my flailing arms and cut off the steam that I felt was pouring out of my ears. I should be overwhelmed with joy that I had escaped the life I would have had if I had stuck with a guy like Jimmy. But all that old duplicity and sting had greatly affected my ability to give everything over to the man I now considered my life, and I was all kinds of newly furious at Jimmy for that.

“Fuck you, Jimmy. I don’t need an apology from you. I don’t need anything from you. As far as I’m concerned, you got exactly what you deserved. You’re wasting your time here.”

Rome growled behind me, which was all kinds of alpha sexy, and ran a soothing hand over my arm. I was shaking, and it made me mad that Jimmy could affect me in any way still. Apologizing for shattering my young heart into a million pieces was just laughable, like any words could go back in time and undo the damage he had done, could fix the current predicament I found myself in with Rome.

“You actually deserve a shit ton more, but considering her condition, I’m not going to let her at you.” Rome sounded gruff and even less happy than he had been originally.

Jimmy’s gaze widened and then flicked over my now slightly extended belly. I wasn’t huge but I was obviously rounded out more than normal and clearly pregnant. I wanted to hit him again when he looked at Nash and asked:

“You’re knocked up?”

Nash choked on a laugh and hooked a thumb at Rome.

“You might wanna look at the guy holding on to her, genius. Not mine.”

Jimmy’s eyes got huge when he took in the protective stance Rome had taken behind me. He looked at me, at my belly, and then back up to the thunderous expression of the man standing behind me. It irritated me to no end that he automatically assumed Nash would be the dad just because of his outward appearance. Why hadn’t I ever realized how shallow and awful he was before I had fallen in love with him? Gross.

“Seriously, Cora? What the hell happened to you? This isn’t like you. You used to be nice and funny. The old you would have forgiven me in a heartbeat, and we could have gone and had a beer and a few laughs for old times’ sake. You loved me.”

Oh, the nerve of him. How did I ever think anyone that stupid was my Mr. Right? I could read between his lines. The old me would have been head over heels to have another shot at being with him and he could have used me for a quick hookup to soothe his battered ego. Uh, no thank you.

“You happened to me, Jimmy. You have the nerve to talk about how I loved you? How about because of you I can’t love someone else? Where is the apology, the regret for that?”

I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me. I knew I needed to stop—that I was risking ruining the thing that mattered—but in my fury I was stuck in a cycle of past and future, anger and remorse, and there was no turning back.

“Cora.” Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his feet. “We were young. I was immature. I never meant to hurt you that way. You were the first girl I ever loved. Can’t we just grab a coffee or something and mend some fences. I really am sorry.”

“No. Just because you’re sorry doesn’t mean I’m obligated to accept your apology. It sucks you came all this way in search of absolution, but it’s not my job to offer it to you. I don’t owe you anything. I never did. You were just too stupid to see that I was offering you the world and then you decided to toss it away. Never again, Jimmy. I’ll never do that again.” My voice dropped an octave and my chest heaved up and down. “The embarrassment, the loss of the only family I thought I had, it made me lost, made me search and search for some kind of perfect I’m never going to find. You ruined my idea of happy-ever-after.”

When my words hit Jimmy they made him shudder, and they made me feel free. But any satisfaction was brief, disintegrating as what I had just said hit me square in the chest. It was too late, I couldn’t force the words back in. I turned to look at Rome, and those blue eyes had gone dull, distant, his face like stone.