Paradise Valley (Virgin River #7)(65)



“No,” she replied. “We’ve put it off long enough.” She touched her diamond pendant. “I’m the girl you promised to marry. You’ve been mean and horrible and I understand you’re going through terrible stuff, but that doesn’t give you the right to turn your back on me. I’m not going to let you do that to me. I’ve been through stuff, too. The way it was with us, we helped each other.”

“No one’s gonna be able to help me with this,” he said, and he started to close the door on her.

But her hand was against the door, keeping it from closing. “Let’s go for a short ride.”

“I can’t do that,” he said. “My grandma’s in bed.”

“Yeah? Leave a note. Write, ‘Went for a ride with Liz.’ She isn’t going to ground you.”

He actually chuckled. He remembered his Liz as a soft, sweet, vulnerable girl. The one he made cry at the hospital in Germany; the girl he had to be strong for. “I don’t want to have this conversation tonight,” was all he said.

“You’re going to,” she said. “We can do it right here, right now, maybe wake up your gram, or we can sit in my car and do it in private.”

“Look, Liz, I’m real tired and I’m in some pain here. And I don’t want to—”

“Okay then,” she said, walking into the house. She sat down on his grandmother’s sofa. “Here, then.”

He took a breath and shook his head. He limped over to the kitchen counter, pulled a piece of paper off the notepad and scribbled a note to his grandmother. Then he limped toward the door, grabbing his coat off the rack.

“You want crutches or something?” she asked him.

“No. This isn’t going to take too long.” And he limped out the front door. Once he looked down at the three porch steps, he stopped. He grabbed the railing and hoped he wouldn’t end up facedown on the walk—working that knee was still a crapshoot. Liz stayed behind him, giving him time. If she’d grabbed his arm to help him, he would have brushed her away, but she was smart and just waited till he made it.

And then, to his surprise, she left him to open his own car door. When she was settled behind the wheel, he was surprised when she started the car and put it in gear. “I thought we were just going to sit in your car,” he said.

“We are,” she said as she pulled away from the curb, “but we’re going somewhere you can’t chase me off or walk away from me.”

“Well, just pull down the block. I’m not real fast, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“What I’ve noticed is that what’s wrong has nothing to do with your leg,” she said. “You have definite problems, all right.” She glanced over at him. “Okay, lay it on me, Ricky. Go ahead. Get it off your chest.”

“I think you better stop the car first. Really, let’s not go too far from home, okay? I meant it—I’m tired and my leg hurts.”

“We’re not going far,” she said. “While I’m driving, do me a favor, Ricky. Try to remember me. I’m the girl who’s always on your side no matter what. Huh? I’m the girl who would do anything for you. I’m the one who stuck by you a hundred percent when you said the Marine Corps was what you needed to get your head straight.”

“You probably shouldn’t have,” he said quietly.

“Whatever,” she said, waving a hand. “I did. I still am, even though you act like I’m dead or something.”

He just stared straight ahead, not commenting, wondering how he was going to do this. One thing he had accepted—no matter how he handled it, he was going to hurt her bad. But in the end, she’d get over it and be better off. Problem was, she smelled so good and even though she was acting real tough, he knew that underneath all that strength was a softness so lush and deep, he could lose himself for a while, and it was getting to him. Maybe if she hadn’t had the starring role in so many of his dreams, he could have forgotten.

He leaned his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. If he did this right, it would be over tonight. Then they could move on from what had been one disaster after another since the day they met.

Liz turned off the road and drove right down to the river. She parked, killed the lights and the car engine, and turned in her seat to face him. And waited.

“Liz, I don’t think we should be together anymore.” He gazed into his lap rather than at her. He waited for her reaction and when there was none, he looked at her.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because, Liz, us together is one bad break after another and I’m pretty sure every one of them was my fault. It’s not fair to you.”

“Oh,” she said, “so you’re doing this for me?”

“I know you don’t want that. I know you don’t. Don’t you think that makes it even worse? That no matter how much I screw up your life, you’ll hang in there with me? I want you to stay away from me, Liz. Get on with your life, find a guy who won’t mess you up every time you turn around. All right? Let me off the hook here, Liz! Let me go so I don’t have one more thing to feel guilty about! You hear me?”

She just looked at him. There wasn’t even a big moon and yet he could see her blue eyes sparkling like stars. She gave her head a gentle shake. “You’re going to get past this,” she said. “I know you’re hurt and mad, but it’s going to pass, Rick. And when it does, you won’t want me to be gone.”

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