Owning Violet (The Fowler Sisters #1)(83)

Damn it. I need to stop.

Breaking away from her, I drop my hand. She looks up at me once more, those soulful brown eyes making me wonder what other secrets she keeps hidden. Because she’s got them. Everyone does.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers.

My fingers pause at the front of her shirt. “Do what?”

“Pretend I want Zachary. That I want my old life with him.” She shakes her head and closes her eyes, her mouth crumpling as if she might cry. “I don’t want him. I only want you.”

“Hey.” I draw her close and kiss her trembling lips softly, keeping them there as I murmur reassurances. “It’s okay. It won’t last for long. I promise.”

She nods once, her eyes shining with tears, and I clasp her cheeks with both hands, bringing her in so I can kiss her forehead, her nose, her lips once more. “Don’t cry, baby. Seeing your tears kills me.” They tear at my heart and make my head swim. I can’t f*cking take it, seeing her so sad.

I may want to own Violet, but I’m afraid she might already own me.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Just … tell me you’ll come over tonight. Tell me I get to see you.”

“I’ll come over.” I hadn’t planned on it. I planned on staying away so this looks real. I can’t tell her everything yet. I don’t even know if I can one hundred percent trust her.

But I know one thing: I can’t stay away from her. I’m addicted. To her scent, her smile, her brain, her lips, her tongue, her * … every single piece of her.

I want to protect her. From Pilar and Zachary and the rumors, and hell, I even want to protect her from … me.

I’m afraid I’ll hurt her. The very last thing I want to do.

“Help me understand why I’m doing this. Why I’m pretending with Zachary,” she says.

“I need to figure out what’s going on with Pilar and your father, and the only way I can do that is with Zachary occupied. If he’s too focused on you, he won’t think about Pilar,” I explain. And with Pilar believing I’ve ended it with Violet, she’ll open up to me and let me back in.

“Right.” Pressing her lips together, she nods, her lids lifting so she can meet my gaze once more. Tears linger in her eyelashes, stream down her cheeks, and I kiss them away from her skin, rub my thumbs underneath her eyes to catch the ones still clinging there.

“Don’t cry, baby. Everything will work out just the way you want it to. I know it will.” I kiss her sweet lips, fighting against the surge of protectiveness I feel for her, but it’s no use.

It’s there. I need to face it. Face exactly what I feel for this woman.

If only I could figure that out.

“And if I don’t know exactly how I want this to work out?” she asks cautiously.

Damn this girl. She is so perceptive. “Then we’ll figure it out day by day.”

“I did it.”

I slam the door of Pilar’s office behind me as I stride toward her desk, stopping just in front of it. She frowns at me, looking completely irritated that I’m standing in her office, bugging her. A far cry from the crazy woman who gyrated on my knee yesterday afternoon like some sort of highly skilled stripper and brought herself to orgasm in a matter of minutes.

“You did what?” she asks, sounding bored.

“Violet Fowler is officially broken.” I smile and settle into the chair across from her desk, getting comfortable. I figure she’ll have a lot of questions to ask and I’ve spent the last hour in my office alone, trying to figure out exactly what she would want to know.

I’m as prepared for this interrogation as any proper Boy Scout would be.

“Broken how?” Her gaze flicks to mine for the briefest moment before she returns her attention to her laptop. “I have a meeting in thirty. I don’t have time for petty bullshit.”

I stand and slam my hands on her desk, leaning down so l lurk over her like some sort of starving vulture looking for a meal. “I said that I broke Violet. Just as you asked. I dumped her this morning. I have no doubt she’ll be back in Lawrence’s arms by the early evening.”

She studies me, looking for a slip, looking for the lie. I keep my expression impassive, my demeanor calm. Any cracks in the façade and she’ll jump all over them. She’s particular like that. It’s a skill that’s worked well for her through the years.

“God, I knew if given the chance she’d probably return to Zachary. So dreadfully boring.” Pilar rolls her eyes, then slams her laptop shut. I have her complete attention now. “Tell me what happened. I want every detail.”

Here come the lies. The chance I have to slip up and f*ck up is at hand. I need to keep my facts straight and give Pilar exactly what she wants. I sit back down in the chair. “I went over to her place. We’d agreed to meet there.”

“What? To f*ck?” She snickers, and I send her a hard glare that shuts her up.

“I strip her naked. We start going at it. In the middle of the sex I tell her she’s awful. A bad lay. I’d been saying all sorts of things throughout the entire act. Little things that probably made her question whether it was an insult or not. I’m breaking her down, f*cking with her head, f*cking with her body until she can’t see straight, let alone think straight, and she starts crying.”