Owning Violet (The Fowler Sisters #1)(82)

“I …” Pausing, I contemplate him. Does he? Yes. But do I matter to him?

I thought I did. Maybe I was wrong.

Memories of last night come back at me, one after another. He was so rough, yet gentle, too. I want that again. I want what only he can give me.

I don’t know if he’s willing to give me what I want. If he even wants to.

And that scares me the most.

Chapter Twenty-four

Ryder

I’m being an * and I know it, but I can’t help it. I’m hurt that she’d rather have lunch with Rose than with me. That she’d prefer to sit at some crowded restaurant listening to her sister complain about whatever when she could have been with me here in my office, naked and gasping and coming again and again.

The truth? I’m jealous. Jealous that Violet has these other relationships that mean something to her and I have no one save for Pilar, and that bitch doesn’t count. Violet’s family comes before all others for her and I have no freaking idea what that’s like. None. My mother was never in my life. My dad was a selfish bastard who didn’t want to deal with me. I had no real friends. No other family.

It doesn’t help that I’m sending her back to Zachary for … what? To protect her from Pilar while I figure out what she’s trying to do with Forrest? And is that shit even for real, her involvement with the old man? The woman is conniving, I’ll give her that, but would she take it that far?

Yes. Looks like she would.

“Do I matter to you?” she finally asks, her voice low and husky and sexy as hell. She chews on her lower lip, obviously nervous about my answer.

And just like that, I’m nervous, too.

“Yes,” I murmur, not sure what else I should say. I’ve never done this sort of thing before. Embarking on a normal relationship with a woman is foreign to me and I feel like a complete idiot. More than anything, I feel completely out of control, and I hate it.

“Really, Ryder? Because if I did matter to you, I’m thinking my going back to Zachary, even if it’s pretend, wouldn’t be easy for you to deal with. I know I can’t stand the thought of you being near Pilar.” She purses her lips, looking so damn prim and proper in her cream-colored button-up blouse and slim black skirt. Simple and elegant, with her hair pulled into a low ponytail and those damn diamonds sparkling in her ears. I hope to hell Lawrence didn’t give them to her or I’m going to have to flush them down the toilet.

She’s right. I’m the * who’s pushing her back into his arms. It’s fake, but still. I’m taking a huge risk. What if she’s not over him? What if she goes back to him and realizes she wants to … stay?

It’s a chance I’ll have to take to find out exactly what Pilar is up to.

“I care. More than you know.” I take a deep breath, hating how vulnerable I feel.

“That’s all I can ask for.” Violet comes toward me, reaching out to touch the side of my face. We stare at each other quietly and I close my eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath. She overwhelms me. I want her. Always. If I could, I’d throw her on top of my desk and take her, not caring if anyone caught us.

But I won’t. I let the memories of this morning float through my mind. How I f*cked her before I left her apartment. Stood at the end of the bed while she lay sprawled, my hands at her hips, my cock powering inside of her gorgeous and well-used body. Her breasts jiggled, her eyes glowed, and when I pulled out and came all over her stomach, she ran her fingers through the spots of creamy white and then licked them clean with a satisfied smile on her face.

Yeah, I’ve got it bad. It’s like she was made for me. Never before have I acted this way with a woman. I like to boss them around in bed, but that’s only because I know what I want. But there’s something about Violet that makes me want to command her. Mark her.

Own her.

“You make me f*cking crazy,” I growl as I pull her into my arms, my mouth locking with hers. She moans and holds me close, her tongue sliding against mine, her breasts smashed against my chest. I’m instantly hard. Again I’m tempted. I could tug her skirt up and f*ck her right here. Right now.

But I won’t. I need to get her out of my office so we can start putting our plan into action. I’ll trick Pilar. And Violet will trick Zachary.

Hopefully, we’ll get to the bottom of this and get what we want.

“You should go,” I whisper against her lips after I break our frantic kiss. She pulls away from me, her eyes on mine, full of hurt at what I just said.

Doesn’t she realize that all I want is to protect her?

“Okay.” She takes a deep breath and nods, trying to withdraw from my hold, but I don’t let her go. Not yet.

It’s as if I can’t.

Reaching out, I carefully cradle the side of her head so I don’t mess up her hair. I rub my finger over the diamond stud in her ear. “Who gave you these?”

Her eyes dim and her expression is somber. “They were my mother’s.”

Ah Christ. I don’t know much about her mother’s death, but I know it happened a long time ago. I don’t want to upset her. “They’re beautiful.”

“She was beautiful.” A little smile curls her lips. “People say I look a lot like her.”

“Then I know she was definitely beautiful.” I lean in and press a soft kiss to her mouth. She tilts her head, her lips clinging, prolonging the connection, and I sweep my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss …