Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(13)

“Well? It’s not like I’m telling you something you don’t know!”

“You are, actually. I didn’t realize you thought so low of me.”

Krista crossed her arms and walked three paces away, back turned to him. “I will not feel bad for saying that.”

“I don’t expect you to feel bad for being honest,” Sean sighed.

“And don’t think I won’t tell Jasmine that you just sighed!”

Sean’s lips quirked, but he didn’t fully smile. “I’m not saying I was all that trustworthy in the past. I wasn’t. But I’ve grown out of it. Trying to, anyway. I want to.”

“Then why were you so sexual when we first started working together?”

“Like I said, that’s what’s expected of me. Men and women alike expect it. Now I just wear it like a second skin. When you called me out I was embarrassed. But I stopped right away, didn’t I? I have really been trying to make sure I’m not that way around you. I’m just me around you.”

She walked back four paces, crying angry tears, “And how the hell am I supposed to believe that, you ape? How can I believe anything you say? How can I…”

Sean grabbed her by the back of the head and reeled her in. He kissed her in a rush of passion, catching her mouth open in shock and filling it in a rush. He wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her close, stroking her tongue with his, giving her light suction, willing her to let go.

Then she did. She closed her eyes, angled her head, and held on. She squeezed her eyes tight against the buzz filling her ears and exploding her senses. Her body was flushed, sweat was prickling her brow, Sean’s body was hard and tight and felt just right wrapped around her. She pulled and pushed and manipulated until her back was against the tree and his was leaning against her, his leg between her thighs, his tongue pulsing in her mouth, his hands glued to her waist, keeping them firmly pressed together.

Strangely, it was the last that caught her awareness; that dragged her out of mindless delight into the present. She had her hands under his shirt, feeling the glorious body she only saw that morning, trying to back up to make room so her hands could work down to feel his bulge. But he wouldn’t let her. He held their bodies close, but wouldn’t let her take it too far.

She didn’t think any further than that. This was not supposed to be happening!

She pushed his chest, feeling him pull away immediately.

“How the hell did that happen?” she said with wide eyes, looking up to connect with his lust-filled gaze.

Sean’s teeth were gritted and his eyes were on fire. He shook his head slowly. In a grunt he said, “My bad.”

Krista struggled and escaped, walked to the other side of the front yard and turned back to him. Memories were warring with her. Bashing against emotions. She wanted him. She wanted to repeat what they’d just done. But she was afraid. Jim had ruined her life. She’d had to move states, hide herself, and start over. She didn’t think Sean was even close to the same caliber of messed up, but he was the same charming womanizer everyone wanted. She was still fragile, and he was a pro. He would rip her apart.

“I’m sorry, Sean. I can’t. I’ve been down this road. My trust for a guy like you is all used up. My heart is all used up. It was discarded with the trash—well, trampled, discarded then chased. That’s a hard thing to get over. That one night stand was me trying to get back on the horse again. So to speak. It was a mistake. I’ve found I can’t really bring myself to like Paul. I’m all locked up. Frozen. I’m just…destroyed. I’ve been destroyed. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head and turned away, willing herself to stop crying.

“Okay,” he said softly. “It’s okay. I won’t push you.”

“I can still work with you if you want. I do really like that guy I’ve gotten to know. I just can’t do this other side, you know? I just can’t…”

“Of course I want to work with you. Nothing changes. We are professionals. And friends, I hope. No romance. Easy,” he sounded odd.

Krista looked up in time to see pain erased by an easy smile.

“Well, I guess you’ve met a bigger shit than yourself, huh?” she said, walking back to him.

“Why would you say a thing like that?” Sean asked, flinching as if he wanted to touch her, but abstaining to keep her comfortable. He probably thought he was going to get slapped.

Krista laughed miserably and wiped her face. “Have you ever met a bigger c**k tease?”

Sean barked out an uncomfortable laugh. “Yes. Many. I brought it on myself, though. If anything, I am the tease.”

“Do you generally go around biting yourself?”

Sean laughed again and faced her. She looked up at him.

“What am I going to do with you?” he whispered, his eyes dipping to her lips.

“Probably throw me in a lake with cement shoes,” she whispered back

Sean traced her face with his finger, watching the progress over her smooth cheek, under her defined jaw, and across the slight divot in her chin. He made her feel beautiful. He made her feel special.

But he did that to all the girls. She had to keep reminding herself it wasn’t real. That she wasn’t special. That suddenly he wouldn’t change just for her. Girls tried that all the time. Hell, she’d tried that with Jim; tried to change him. It had ended up being her who was completely altered in the end. She was still trying to find the girl she was before she’d met him.