Only Us (Fool's Gold #6.1)(11)
“I will,” Rina said, pausing to admire the older woman’s holiday-themed jogging suit. Both the pants and jacket were green velour and there was a sequined poinsettia on the front by the zipper.
A mom with two kids in the pageant stopped her to ask about a border collie mix and Alice Barns, the police chief, spoke wistfully about a small gray kitten.
“With my boys so busy with their own lives, I could use a little furry something,” Alice said. “My husband shocked me the other day when he said he wouldn’t mind a cat. Coming from him, that’s practically an advertising campaign.”
Rina finally made her way to the row where Cameron waited and settled into her seat.
“I think the holiday adoption is going to be a success,” she said. “I was worried it was a dumb idea, but I’m getting plenty of people interested. Now if only they show up and take the pets they say they’re interested in.”
“They will.”
She braced herself, then glanced at him. His steady gaze locked with hers, making her feel warm inside. He’d always had the ability to make her believe she was safe around him. Too bad that had turned out not to be the truth.
“You can’t know that for sure,” she told him.
“Yes, I can. This is Fool’s Gold and the people here take care of their own.”
“Do you mean me or the pets?”
“Both.”
The lights dimmed before she could respond.
The production had the usual mishaps. A couple of the kindergarteners were frightened by the bright lights and began to cry. A boy in Kaitlyn’s class knocked over a tree and about half the kids forgot their lines. But Cameron didn’t care about that. As he watched the skits and listened to the songs, he was once again grateful that he’d decided to move to Fool’s Gold.
Kaitlyn looked like the fairy princesses she adored and he knew Rina was the reason. He’d seen the dress in pieces, but not since it had been assembled and it was everything a little girl could want.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he whispered, leaning toward Rina. “I never meant for you to spend so much time on her costume.”
“I wanted to.”
In the dark, it was difficult to read her expression, but he could inhale the sweet scent of her body and feel the heat that tempted him.
For a second, he allowed himself to wonder what it would be like if he permitted himself to give in. To share her feelings and to take what she offered. To touch her and taste her, to let her the rest of the way into his life.
He couldn’t risk that, but maybe he could keep the part of her that mattered to him most.
She turned to him. “What?” she asked in a whisper.
“Later,” he promised.
After the program had ended, everyone stood up and collected their coats.
“They’re serving the kids cupcakes and punch before releasing them back to their families,” Rina said with a grin. “Because they’re not already wound up from their performances, right? The teachers want to seal the deal with a little sugar rush?”
Cameron knew he should laugh or at least smile, but he couldn’t. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the middle of the rapidly emptying row.
“We need you,” he said urgently. “Kaitlyn and I. We’re friends. You said it yourself. Don’t go. We can keep things the way they were.”
The light slowly faded from her blue eyes. Her mouth straightened.
“You mean give up what I want because having me around is convenient? What do I get out of it, Cameron? Aside from a check every week? A family? Someone to love who loves me back? You want the best of what I have without risk. Without having to share yourself. That’s not going to happen. You can buy childcare, but you can’t buy me. Not anymore.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. You can still have a life. Date.”
She flinched. “Right. Because seeing me with another man wouldn’t bother you at all. Don’t you understand that’s the best reason for me to leave?”
They were supposed to get Kaitlyn together, to go home and celebrate with popcorn. Put up the last of the decorations. But Rina drew back.
“I’m going to tell Kaitlyn I have to go.”
Cameron reached for her, but she was too far away. “Wait.”
“No. I’m done waiting. I’m moving on.”
Chapter Six
“Why can’t Rina get me ready for school?” Kaitlyn asked, the following Thursday morning.
Cameron carefully brushed his daughter’s hair. “She’s busy with the pet adoption this coming Saturday and she has a lot to do.”
He knew Rina was avoiding him, but he wasn’t going to say that. Whatever was going on between him and Rina had nothing to do with Kaitlyn.
“We haven’t talked about what we’re getting her for Christmas,” his daughter informed him. “I don’t want to get her a sweater. Rina loves us. We need to give her a present that says we love her, too.”
There was a conversation he didn’t want to have, he thought grimly. “Love is complicated,” he began, but his daughter shook her head.
“It’s not. It’s simple. Love is when we care more about somebody else than we do ourselves. It’s like with Mommy. She didn’t love us and that’s why she left. Because if she’d loved us, she would have wanted to stay. People who love you want to be with you. And we want the people we love to always be around.”