Not Safe for Work(84)

I laughed, patting his thigh. “To be honest, I resisted it for a long time because it was such a gay stereotype to love The Golden Girls, but goddamn.” I gestured at the screen. “How can you not?”

“How can you not?” He clicked select, but didn’t start the show. “Why don’t I put in a frozen pizza, and we can watch this while it cooks?”

“That sounds perfect.” I pulled him to me. “You’re spoiling me rotten, you know.”

“With frozen pizza?”

“Nothing says ‘no pressure’ like a frozen pizza and a Golden Girls marathon. So yes, you’re spoiling me.”

He smiled, wrapping his arms around me. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Well, no. But you’ve had to put up with me disappearing into work for weeks at a time, and now this, and—”

“Jon.” He kissed me softly. “Think of everything you did to me over the weekend. That domination? I need that. I need it badly.” Cupping my face, he whispered, “What kind of sub would I be if I left you hanging when you were like this, even if it wasn’t because of everything you did for me?”

I sighed. “I just…don’t want this getting one-sided. We both get something out of it when we’re playing.”

“Believe it or not, I do get something out of this. It doesn’t have to be all kink, all the time. And helping you back on your feet after you crash…” He half shrugged. “Kind of seems like something that’s right up a sub’s alley, you know?”

“True.” My stomach tightened, though. Deep down, I got it. I understood how subs’ minds worked. Doing things for a Dom, pleasing a Dom, taking care of a Dom—they were all forms of submission. But I’d known Doms over the years who’d taken advantage of that. Their submissives bent over backwards for them. They never complained about long hours at the office or rubbing their Dom’s feet even when the Dom was too tired to reciprocate. Everyone seemed happy right up until the day the resentment boiled over and the sub walked out the door in search of someone who treated them better.

I squeezed his hand. “Just promise me you’ll tell me if things start getting lopsided.”

“I will. And so far, everything has been great. I mean, I know you’ve been working yourself into the ground. I’ve been right there at your office. I’ve seen the demands they put on you. Hell, some of those demands have come from me.” He kissed my fingers. “But every time we’re together again, you’ve gone out of your way to make up for lost time. And top drop…” He shrugged. “It’s part of the game. It happens. To be perfectly honest, I knew it was coming this time.”

“How do you figure?”

“After a weekend of that kind of play and how much effort you put in to making sure I didn’t crash after things fell apart even though you were already run ragged, it was bound to take its toll on you eventually.”

I pushed out a breath. “Yeah, I guess it was. Just…promise me that if it does feel one-sided, if I’m taking more than I’m giving, you’ll say something. Please.” I struggled to hold his gaze. “Because I really want to make this work.”

Rick nodded. “So do I. And I promise. But I’m not worried at all. We’re both going to have periods where work is a nightmare and we barely have time to breathe, so I’m perfectly happy to help you get through those.”

“Likewise,” I said quietly.

“The same goes for the kink side of things.” He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “The other night could have been a disaster, but you realized I was in a bad place before I did. And after, you kept me from feeling like an utter failure, and you even turned something that could’ve been humiliating into an incredibly hot evening.” He brought my fingers up and kissed them again. “So when a weekend of topping me knocks you on your ass, you’d better believe I’m going to be there to help you recover. Especially if it means hanging out like this.”

I chuckled. “Well, just don’t erase Golden Girls, and we’ll be in good shape.”

Rick snorted. “Erase Golden Girls? Pfft. Please.”

Our eyes met, and we both laughed.

After a moment, his expression turned serious, and he watched his fingers trailing back and forth over mine. “To be honest, this—everything we’re doing, even right now—is exactly what I was hoping for when I put up that profile.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean downtime. Just hanging out. TV. Frozen dinner. Whatever.” He hesitated, and lifted his gaze to meet mine again. “And a Dom who not only accepts my limits but accepts his own. I’ve been with guys who try to pretend top drop isn’t a thing, and try to knuckle through even when they’re not feeling it. I don’t want someone who will still play when he’d rather not, because then it isn’t fun for either of us.”

“Like a sub who submits even when he doesn’t want to, because he thinks he has to?”

Rick nodded. “Exactly. The thing is, I’ve had Doms who are so hung up on being a Dom, and their pride is so wrapped up in it, they’re either killing themselves to be that Dom, or they’re killing me.”

“I hadn’t looked at it that way before.” I turned my hand over and slipped my fingers between his. “And I’ll cop to it—I’ve had a hard time admitting to top drop before. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s par for the course sometimes, but damn, it is not easy to tell a submissive that I’m not in a good place.”