Never Been Ready (Ready #2)(65)

It made me both happy and sad at the same time. It was the first time I'd made him happy, the first time I'd made him smile, and the first time he'd said thank you to me. But it had all been done under the false pretense that I was just another guy. I was just an old boyfriend of his mother's. I wasn't anyone special to him yet. I was just Declan.

I wanted that to change.

I still had one more gift to give.

I knelt down to Connor. "Hey, think you could help me out with something?"

He nodded enthusiastically. I was glad to see him happy even if it was temporary or wasn't quite the way I'd wanted it to be. He was happy, and that needed to be celebrated.

I pulled out the small box and handed it to him before motioning to Leah. He nodded, giving a half smile. He took the few steps to Leah and held out the box to her.

"What do you have there, Little Man?" she asked.

"It's from Declan."

"It's from both of us," I corrected, which made his half smile turn into a full smile as he held the box higher.

She gave me a cheesy grin and opened it, finding the silver necklace she'd been eyeing in the store. It really was beautiful. A lot of the things sold here were inexpensive and cheap. This was actually made by one of the silversmiths employed here, and it was a work of art, something not seen often in modern jewelry stores.

"Well, aren't you two charming?" she said.

Connor turned around, and I gave him a thumbs-up.

Leah bent down and gave Connor a quick kiss and a hug. He went into her arms easily. It was a familiar place for him, having been held by her the night of the accident. Seeing the woman I loved holding my child did something to me. It made my heart feel like it was too large for my chest.

Leah looked up at me with Connor's head tucked under hers as she mouthed, I love you

I wanted them. I wanted both of them. This was my new reality, and I actually felt ready for all of it. Leah had said I was a father whether I was ready for it or not...and I was.

Chapter Twenty-Two

~Leah~

"So, you leave for a few days, and manage to become an overnight celebrity? Seriously, it's weird seeing your picture in the grocery store...Oh and Declan's a father and he's moving here?" Clare said, as we sat down inside Phil's for coffee and freshly baked scones.

"Mmmhmm," I said, taking a sip of my mocha as I settled into the flowery cushioned chair with my late breakfast.

"Is there anything else?"

"Ahh, nope. I think you got it all," I answered, taking another sip of my hot coffee. The liquid instantly warmed my body, warding off the chill from the outdoors.

"Wow, well...let's see. I got a new sweater while you were gone. Oh, and I went to the dentist, no cavities by the way, and Maddie attempted to braid my hair. I had knots for days. So, I mean...that's totally the same, right?"

"You let Maddie braid your hair?" I laughed. "I wouldn't let that crazy child near my hair for all the conditioner in the world. She's like a tornado with a brush."

"True that, but enough about my non-exciting life. Tell me everything!"

I did. We spent hours talking, and eating. When our coffees and food ran out, we ordered more. Phil kept our coffee table full of goodies and our coffee cups hot.

"I just can't believe you were with Connor that night. Can you imagine if it had been someone else Leah? Declan would have gone on for probably the rest of his life never knowing he had a child out there. What an amazing gift you gave him," she said.

I leaned my head back on the chair, remembering those first few days. "It didn't feel that way in the beginning. There were times when I thought I might lose him. It was just so much for him to take in all at once, I was so scared he was going to crumble under the pressure. But, the minute he saw Connor, he was different."

Clare gave a knowing smile, "He became a parent."

"Yes, I guess so. He just became so much more focused. Before we got that phone call that we could see him, he was all over the place...up, down...positive, negative. But seeing him finally meet him, he finally relaxed. I know we have a long road, and so much more to go through...hell, at this point Connor doesn't even know who Declan really is, but right now, it's enough for him."

It had been a week since that first visit with Connor. It had gone better than either of us had expected. Our time in Williamsburg had been short, but I think we made an impact on him. I know he made an impact on us. I could see the toll grief had taken, but there was still a bit of a kid left in him that so desperately just wanted to play and have fun. But when something so tragic happens to someone, at any age, it's hard to decide when it's okay to smile again, to play and enjoy simple pleasures again. Are you allowed to feel happiness when you're still missing someone every minute?

I wanted so desperately to teach him it was okay to feel joy again, to allow himself to be a kid again. We both did. I just hoped he let us.

"Do you think Declan will eventually want more?"

"He hasn't mentioned it, and I honestly don't know," I admitted.

"Have you thought about it? About if he did eventually want custody?"

"Yes..no...I don't know. Less than two weeks ago, I was still trying to adjust to the fact that I was in love, and now I'm having to suddenly having to readjust to this. My head is spinning."