Nets and Lies(52)

“Like me,” I murmured.

Will nodded.

“Was he raping her?”

Will’s face reddened. “No, from what I saw, it was—uh, it was consensual. But even so, she screamed the moment she saw me. Dad whirled around.” Will shook his head. “He told me to get the f**k out of there. So I did. I ran all the way to Paul’s house where I spent the night.”

“The next morning when he came to pick me up, he told me it was a mistake, and it wasn’t ever going to happen again. But then he said if I told, it would just be heartache for everyone and that he could lose his job and the girl would get into a lot of trouble.” Will smiled bitterly. “The son of a bitch even guilt-tripped me by saying it would break my mother’s heart when she was already so sad over my grandfather.”

I ran my hand over his back. “And you never told?”

He stared straight ahead. “No, I never said a word.” When he turned to look at me, tears welled in his eyes. “It’s my fault, Mel. If I had said something, he would’ve been put away, and he could never have done this to you.”

I shook my head. “It isn’t your fault. You were just a kid, and you didn’t want to hurt your father or your mother.”

Will’s fists tightened into balls, and he pounded his thighs over and over again. “It is all my fault! I mean, I knew all of this when Jordan accused him, but I thought she was lying. I figured they were together just like he’d been with that other girl. But you…not you. I could’ve done something.”

I put both my hands on each side of Will’s face and forced him to look at me. “Stop it. I won’t let you blame yourself.”

“Yeah, but I bet you’re sure as hell still taking all the blame over that bastard.”

My gaze dropped to the blanket. “I..I can’t help it.”

A growl came from low in Will’s throat. “When I found out what he had done…I wanted to kill him.” He choked on his sobs. “I still want to kill him. A long, slow death where he’s tortured for what he did to you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

I sighed. “If you killed him, it wouldn’t take away what happened. It’s always going to be there. And if we’re going to stay together, you’re going to have to accept that.”

He stared into my eyes. “But how can I accept it? How can I ever be at peace with the fact my father—my flesh and blood—raped the only girl I’ve ever loved?”

“I don’t know how.” I shook my head sadly. “I don’t have all the answers yet. Maybe I never will. But I’m going to try.”

“You are?”

I stared down at my hands. “Yeah, there’s a really nice therapist who has been around to talk to me.” I peered up to meet Will’s shocked eyes. “I really like her. And she’s trying to help me get better,” I explained.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is.”

I nervously chewed on my lip, remembering something Dr. Leighton brought up in our last session. “Will?”

“Hmm.”

“If I asked you to do something, would you do it for me?”

“Of course…anything.”

I drew in a deep breath before asking, “Would you come to therapy with me?”

He tensed up next to me before pulling away. “Why?”

“It would be good for you…for us.”

“I don’t know, Mel…I’m not one of these people who believes in feeling a bunch of shit or telling my life story to some stranger.”

I nodded. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.”

He exhaled noisily. “Now don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend that you really don’t want me to do something when I know deep down you do.” His lips curved into a smile. “You’re a terrible liar, Mel.”

“I’m sorry for lying. And you’re right. I do want you to come with me, but you don’t have to say anything. I just want you there for support.”

“All right, I think I can handle that.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

He eyed the clock on the wall. “Geez, it’s after four. I guess I better be getting home.”

Closing my eyes, I pressed my nose against his neck and inhaled of his comforting scent. “Why don’t you stay?”

He didn’t answer me. I pulled away to look in his face. “Will?”

His expression was pained. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, considering the circumstances and all.”

“But I like having you here with me. You make me feel safe, like I’m at home.” To prove there wasn’t any reason why he couldn’t stay, I brought my lips to his. I pulled away and whispered, “Stay.”

He answered my request by wrapping his arms tightly around me. And that night, Will and I slept together for the first time. We weren’t sharing a bed after our “first time” sexual experience like I always thought we would. Instead, this time together was about different needs and desires.

Chapter Eighteen: Melanie

Sunlight streaming through the blinds woke me. Something heavy pressed against me. Before I could panic, I remembered Will was with me. I peered over to see him sleeping soundly.