Need Me (Broke and Beautiful #2)(61)

Abby and Roxy seemed to sense that, so they hadn’t pressured her to talk, choosing instead to hoard her possessions so she couldn’t leave. She kind of loved them for that. She owed them the truth, too, but when she started talking, Ben would appear, and that sealed bottle of emotions would shatter at her feet. He was already there every time she blinked or managed to fall asleep, and maintaining her sanity meant keeping the memory of him in check during daylight hours. Not that she was even remotely pulling it off.

The subway doors rolled open, and still neither Abby nor Roxy made a move to get off.

“Okay, are we going to Queens or Mexico for this Mexican food?”

Abby’s whistle turned into a giggle. “One more stop. Right, Roxy?”

Roxy eyeballed her phone. “I think so . . .”

“Okay, you two.” Honey couldn’t take the mysterious behavior anymore. When she thought of what could potentially lay on the other side of this subway ride, she started to panic. “I’m just going to come right out and ask. Does this little trip have something to do with Ben? Is he . . . going to be there?” She swallowed hard. “Because—”

“Honey.” Abby looked affronted. “Do you really think we’d blindside you like that? He won’t be there.”

“Good.” Oh, the sweeping disappointment she felt was so obnoxious and unwanted. “I just had to check. You guys have been acting weird since I got back.”

“We wouldn’t let that jerk near you.” Roxy’s expression was blank. “Not after what he did.”

“Yeah,” Abby said, once again refusing to meet Honey’s gaze. “I hope we never have to see him again.”

Indignation had the back of Honey’s neck turning red. It was all well and good for her to mentally refer to Ben as a jerk, but quite another for her friends to say it out loud. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t say anything. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far, Abby.” Honey’s knee started to bounce. “You’ll have to see him sometime. He’s part of the supergroup.”

“Nope.” Roxy pursed her lips. “I told Louis that Ben was no longer welcome.”

“What?” Honey shot forward on the seat. “He—that’s—not exactly fair. I mean . . . he only wrote the letter because he was scared. You don’t know everything that happened with his father. He had his reasons. For everything.”

Abby inspected her nails. “Not good enough. There’s no excuse for him hurting you.”

“I hurt him, too,” Honey whispered, but it got lost in the hum of the train, so she said it louder. “I hurt him, too.” The way he’d looked at her as she’d ordered him into the cab—completely devastated—came crashing down on her, and suddenly the subway car felt too close, stifling. It became difficult to inhale, as though someone had laid a metal plate down on top of her lungs. This was why she’d sealed everything up, because now the contents whooshed out and surrounded her on all sides. Honey looked up at her roommates. They were both staring back at her sympathetically. Holy shit, she’d walked right into an intervention. A Bentervention.

“Well played,” she murmured shakily, just in time for the subway doors to slide open. Roxy and Abby each grabbed one of her hands and tugged her off the train. She stayed lost in her own thoughts as they descended the stairs of the elevated train station and headed down a busy avenue.

Was she in the wrong here? Staying away from Ben had seemed like the best way to mend her heart, but every moment she spent away from him ruptured it a little more. Was he going through the same thing? Suddenly, she resented the fact that she’d been brought all the way to Queens. Not that she would go to Ben if she were in Manhattan, but at least she’d know he was close by.

“Guys, I think I’m going to head back.” As soon as she said it, she felt better. With every stop on the way back to Manhattan, she’d be closer to him. Too bad her friends shook their heads adamantly and continued to pull her down the avenue, turning into a side street after a few blocks. The sound of the rumbling train overhead and honking cars faded, and she could see the East River in the distance. Warehouses lined the block, but she could see a park up ahead. Or a field of some kind. Where were they taking her?

When they reached the field, Honey felt a small flutter in her throat. Not just any field. A baseball field. Roxy and Abby remained closemouthed as they pushed through a rusted metal gate and urged her inside. They got as far as the pitcher’s mound when Louis walked out of the dugout, carrying a mesh bag full of bats and baseball helmets. Honey could only watch in confusion as several kids, a variety of ages, followed him onto the field. Russell brought up the rear, tossing a baseball up in the air and catching it with his mitt, two smaller boys hanging off each of his shoulders.

“They need a place to play ball, Honey,” Louis called as he set the bag down near home plate. “What do you think? Can they play here?”

She shook her head slowly, at a complete loss as to what was happening. “Why are you asking me?”

Abby slipped an envelope into her hand. “Because it’s your field.”

“What?” She croaked the word, her pulse speeding to a frantic pace. This had to be a crazy dream. Yet she could feel the slope of the mound beneath her feet, the cool wind off the river. When Roxy nudged the envelope, Honey willed her fingers to open it. She tugged out a long yellow piece of paper. A deed? It had her name on it, though. That couldn’t be right. “I don’t understand.”