My One and Only(98)
“Don’t bother. I’ve got self-flagellation penciled in for later.”
Kim looked out toward the sea. “So what’s the status on Nick?” she asked.
“I…oh, crap. This is a gumdaddy of a mess, Kim.”
“And speaking of weird Southern expressions, where is BeverLee?”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t know. She and Dad are getting a divorce.”
“No! You’re kidding me!”
“I’m not.” I heaved a sigh.
At that moment, a black-clad figure walked up my driveway, the crushed shells crunching under his feet. “Hello, Kim, and hello, Harper!” he said warmly. “Mazel tov! I have to admit, I never thought this day would come.”
“Hi, Father Bruce,” I said. “Um…hi.”
He frowned. “Everything okay here? You look awful.”
“Yes.”
“But…isn’t this what you wanted?”
Kim and I exchanged a look. “Well,” I began. “It’s…I…um…”
“Oh, no,” he said. “Did you sleep with your ex-husband?”
“Father Bruce, I am not prepared to discuss that—”
He threw up his hands. “She did. Oh, Kim, I don’t believe it.”
“Harp!” Dennis’s head popped around the corner of the house. “Come on, dude! This party’s for us, after all. The happy couple.”
WHEN ALL THE GUESTS had finally drifted off around 1 a.m., I was left with Dennis, who, yes, had moved in. Boxes of DVDs, CDs and video game equipment, as well as a few garbage bags of clothes, littered my usually perfectly ordered house.
“This is gonna be so great,” Dennis said, slurring a little from where he was sprawled on the couch. I hadn’t exactly kept track, but he’d had more than a few beers. His eyes were already closed, his long black lashes giving him a childlike look.
“Honey,” I began as gently as I could.
“I’m sorry it took so long for me to get my ass in gear,” he murmured.
“Oh, no…it’s okay. But Den…” I took his hand, hoping to broach our breakup gracefully. Dennis deserved some gentleness from me, and it was high time I recognized that. “Listen, I thought we were pretty clear about why we broke up.”
“I know,” he said. “But I missed you. And you were right. I’m kind of a jerk—”
I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand. “No, you’re not, Dennis, you’re a great guy.”
“—and I needed a kick in the head, and you gave it to me.” He smiled, his eyes still closed. “And I love you.”
Damn it. This was, by far, the biggest shit snarl I’d gotten myself into in some time. “The thing is, Dennis,” I whispered. “I just…I don’t know if we should get married. You’re so sweet, but, um…I think I bullied you into this. There was a reason you said no, don’t you think? I mean, when someone loves you, they shouldn’t hand you a list of demands like someone holding a bunch of hostages, right? And Dennis, you deserve someone who isn’t so… Den?”
He was asleep.
I looked at him a minute longer, his romantic-hero good looks, the ruddy cheeks, curling, glossy hair. “Come on, sweetie,” I said. “Let’s get you to bed.” With some difficulty, I roused him enough to tuck him into my room.
As I pulled up the sheet to cover him, Dennis caught my hand. “I’m really happy you said yes,” he muttered sleepily.
Oh, Den. “We’ll talk in the morning,” I whispered.
Then, my heart leaden, I went to tidy up the house, sorting bottles for recycling, wrapping up the leftovers, scraping plates, sweeping the floor. At long last, I went out to my deck and looked out over the water. Water slapped at the hulls of the boats, and far off, an owl called, the sound lonely and lovely.
But the peace I’d longed for was elusive, of course. Obviously, I’d be breaking up with Dennis in the morning. His parents had scheduled us an entire weekend of fun—they were like that, family outings and picnics and nights of board-game marathons. It was tempting to give Dennis this whole weekend, to pretend we were engaged till his family left on Sunday, then let him down easy. Maybe I could even make him think our breakup was his idea. But I couldn’t last the whole weekend. It wasn’t fair. The sooner he knew the truth, the better. Maybe. Or not? I didn’t know. To the best of my knowledge, no one had ever praised me for my emotional IQ.
Oddly enough, I wished I could talk to BeverLee, though it was too late to call. Her absence had been horribly noticeable tonight. And I had to check on Willa. God, I hoped she knew about Christopher’s problems. It was weird…though we didn’t check in daily, I found her silence ominous. Hopefully, she’d be within cell phone range by tomorrow.
I also had to call Nick. That…that was going to be tough. Three days together, and already we were at odds. And already I missed him. Crikey, I yearned for him in such a fierce, sudden rush that my chest actually hurt. The look on his face as I got into the cab…it was acid on my heart, that resigned, sad look. The same look he used to get around his father. But before I could figure out what the future might look like with Nick, I had to become unengaged from Dennis. Crotch.
Coco nosed my hand, reminding me that it was late, and she didn’t like sleeping without me. She was right. There was nothing to be done tonight. With a sigh, I washed up, then went into the guest bedroom, earning a confused look from my dog as to why we weren’t sleeping with young Dennis.