Music of the Soul (Runaway Train #2.5)(20)
I don’t know why I remained in bed instead of going to apologize. Oh yeah, I was being my usual stubborn-* self. But although it had come out all wrong, my words were steeped in truth. I wasn’t ready to be a father, and my greatest fear was Abby becoming pregnant by accident or on the sly. Deep down, I couldn’t imagine that she would ever do something like that, but it was still a fear.
After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I finally fell into a restless asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I rolled over to snuggle against Abby. The moment I felt the cold, empty spot, it came back to me what had happened the night before. “Fuck,” I muttered, as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. If I didn’t man up and apologize, the remaining five days of our island paradise were going to be absolute hell.
I slipped out of bed and slid into my boxer shorts and then made a quick bathroom stop. “Abby?” I called from the bedroom. “Angel, we need to talk.”
After she didn’t respond, I stalked down the hall and to the living room. Gazing around, I found the room empty. Craning my neck, I peered into the kitchen. She wasn’t there either. After I’d checked the spare bathroom and bedroom, fear streaked through my chest that she’d called the shore and asked for the boat. I ran outside onto the porch. I started for the stairs when a flash of red out in the water caught my eye. Gazing out into the water, I saw her swimming in my favorite bikini of hers.
With a sigh, I made my way off the porch and down the beach. She had just surfaced again when I started into the water. At the sight of me, her eyes widened and then she quickly looked away. I thought for a minute she might try to swim away, but instead, she held her ground. “Hey,” I said, when I finally reached her.
“Hey,” she replied softly, still refusing to look me in the eye.
“Angel…I need you to look at me. Please.” When she finally lifted her chin and met my gaze, I sighed. “I’m so sorry for the things I said last night.”
Her eyes closed as if she were in pain. Finally, she opened them. “I’m sorry, too.”
My brows furrowed. Here we were both apologizing, yet there still was this giant divide between us. As I literally treaded water, I felt like I was fighting to keep my head above the surface in our relationship. How did we get back to the way we were?
“I guess this was our first fight as a married couple, huh?” I asked.
“A pretty big one, too,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry. I hate fighting with you, Angel. Most of all, I hate to see you upset.”
Abby’s blue eyes blazed with intensity. “Then try not to say such hurtful things next time.”
“I’ll try. I promise.”
“Okay.”
As an uncomfortable silence still hung around us, I sighed. “You know, I was afraid when I woke up and found the house empty that you’d left me.”
“I would never do that to you.”
“I know. It was just this irrational fear I had.” I exhaled a long, ragged breath. “I guess, it’s kinda like the fear I have of you getting pregnant on the sly.”
Abby shook her head. “How could you think I would ever do that?”
I furiously rubbed my face, letting the salty water sting my eyes. “I don’t know why.” At her wounded expression, I added, “I don’t think, deep down, that you would really do that, but, it is a fear of mine.’”
She inched a little closer to me. “We’re in this marriage together, Jake. It’s a partnership where we make our decisions together. Even though I would love nothing more than to have your baby, I don’t want to until you’re ready. More than anything, I want to know that you trust me.”
“I’m sorry, Angel. I do trust you. I swear. You’ve never been anything but trustworthy and faithful to me.”
“Then stop worrying.”
I drew in a ragged breath. “Somehow I can’t help but wonder how you can still love me when I’m denying you this.”
“Oh Jake, my love for you doesn’t stop just because there’s a rough patch in the road, or I don’t get what I want.”
“Really?” It was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that someone could sacrifice so much for me just because they loved me.
She nodded emphatically. “Of course not. I may be disappointed or hurt, but I could never love you less.”
I stared into her eyes, seeing the unconditional love for me burning bright in them. I felt like such a fool for ever doubting her. “Angel, I love you so much,” I blurted before jerking her into my arms. The motion caused us to lose our balance, and we dipped under the surface of the water. We remained lip-locked with our arms wrapped around each other as our feet kicked to keep us from sinking. When we broke the surface again, I pulled away. “Let’s get to where we can touch.”
“Okay,” Abby murmured, her blue eyes hooded.
We swam closer to the shore, and the moment our feet could touch again, I took her back in my arms. Abby gripped my shoulders before hopping up to wrap her legs around my waist. My fingers went to the strings at her back. With one tug, the bikini top gave way, and her delicious tits spilled out. Gripping her hips, I pushed her further up my body where I could suck on her ni**les. As they puckered and hardened in my mouth, Abby gasped. Her fingers came to tangle through the wet strands of my hair. “Jake,” she moaned.