Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(193)

I leapt to my feet. We walked slowly through the hallways of the hospital; the walls were bland and off white. There was a sickening smell in the air...the smell of iodine and death. We reached big metal doors to an elevator. Alice pressed the button to go up, already knowing which room we were going to be in. I waited impatiently for the doors to open. Ding. The elevator doors opened to admit us and we all three stepped through them, Alice once again pressing the button, one that said four.

I felt a shifting under me as my stone like body was slowing ascending the many floors of the building. Ding. The doors opened to admit us onto the fourth floor, which was just as boring as the first.

"This way," Alice said.

I followed her until we reached room four-oh-eight. I stepped through the threshold. No Bella. I sank down in the chair next to the bed, waiting once again impatiently. I leaned over and put my head in my hands, trying to dislodge the thoughts and feelings that were consuming my body, setting it aflame and then dousing it with cold water. The scent was still strongly present on my hands. I pulled them away to examine the damage. There was no white space, my hands were covered in scarlet blood.

A stubby nurse walked into the room. "Oh," she gasped. "I didn't realize anyone was in here."

I looked up at her and she jumped back several feet. His eyes!

I looked away quickly.

"I'll just come back..." she bustled out of the room quickly.

"That's right! I almost forgot," Alice chimed in.

"What is it, Alice?" I groaned.

She tossed me a small white box. I flipped it over in my hands. Contacts. Crap, another reminder, I thought angrily. I went into the bathroom to place the contacts over my bright red eyes...bright red because of Bella's blood. All of this because of my...need. It was true, I needed Bella. Would I ever be able to leave her and stop bringing danger to her door step? I fluttered my eye as an obstruction fell over my vision. I could see every line and contour of the wretched thing. I pulled the other contact out to place in my other eye. I brought my face close to the mirror, studying it. I was oddly flushed and more pink than normal; my eye was scarlet red because I was full of human blood. The gleaming red eye reminded me of the monster that I am. I sighed and placed the contact in my eye as my vision became obstructed again.

I washed my hands thoroughly, watching the water turn red and run down the drain. I walked out of the bathroom.

"Much better," Alice said.

I heard a squeal of wheels being pushed down the lament floor. Be prepared, Carlisle warned.

Worry and anxiety filled my stomach like acid as I stood to open the door, realizing I had less resolution than ever.

25. Battle Worn

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The many noises of the machines were slowly making their way down the hallway towards room four-oh-eight. Emotions were flooding me, my body not knowing which ones to recognize.

Alice was eyeing me with apprehension, the future obvious in her mind.

You're not going to like this.

Alice stood up and paced back and forth, becoming impatient with the slowness of the nurse pushing Bella down the hall. I was still standing, my hand resolutely on the door, afraid to open it, afraid of what I'll see.

I dove into her mind for only a fraction of a second to see that Bella was hooked up to so many machines it almost made her look like she was some sort of mechanical apparatus or contrivance.

My many threads of thought were lost when I caught a scent that was unfamiliar to me, yet I knew it all the same. I finally yanked on the door, flinging it open to see Carlisle walking quietly behind the nurse, a despondent look upon his face. My eyes ignored him and everything else that was going on around the busy nurses' station. The only room I had in my brain right now, in my heart, was for the precious soul laying in the bed, beaten and battle worn.

Taking in a deep breath, I tried to find the scent that would reassure me that she was still Bella, still okay...still mine. But, the scent was off, wrong...possibly vulgar. For a moment I thought there was something wrong with me, that maybe my brain was fooling me...tricking me, a mere product of my own mental invention. Possibly a fantastic notion - like her blood finally was unappealing to me.

Shaking my head, I realized the only scent in the world I wished for right now was her scent, her very human, very Bella scent. My eyes followed a red tube from her arm up to a blood red bag.

Blood. Not any blood, but human blood. Sitting there - for the taking. But the aroma was off, offensive...extremely unpleasant.

Ignoring the now erroneous smell wafting off of her, I concentrated on her face, her bandages...her wrist. My teeth automatically clenched so hard that if steel were to meet them it would be ripped in half.

James.

Pushing my angry thoughts aside, I brought myself back to the angel, the beauty that was lying in this bed, unconscious and broken. At the sight of her my extremities felt like they were going numb.

She was broken. I broke her.

The nurse had finally made sure she was hooked up to all the appropriate machines, that everything was working correctly before checking her pulse and her temperature. Carlisle and Bella's doctor were standing outside the door talking. I was barely paying attention to the conversation, choosing to pick key words from their minds.

She'll be fine.

Probably another pint of blood.

Temporary medically induced coma until she heals more.