Kiss an Angel(113)

Love.

His heart slammed against his ribs. Love. That’s what this feeling was he hadn’t understood, the feeling that had begun with a melting inside him. He’d been learning how to love. Daisy had seen it. She’d known what was happening to him, but he had denied it.

He loved her. Blindly. Absolutely. How could he not have known? She was more precious to him than all the ancient icons and priceless artifacts that had consumed his life for so long. Living with her, he’d learned how to be happy. He’d learned joy, passion, and an awe-inspiring sense of humility. And what had he given her in return?

I don’t love you, Daisy. I never will.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he remember how, time and again, he’d rejected the precious gift she’d offered. But with a courage that took his breath away, she’d continued to hold it out to him. No matter how many times he rejected her love, she kept on extending it.

Now that love was embodied in the child growing inside her. The child he didn’t want. The child he craved with every beat of his heart.

What had he done? How was he going to win her back? He twisted his head toward the trailer, praying the light calling him back to her would be on, but the window remained dark.

He had to win her back and make her forgive the ugly words he’d spoken. He had been blind and arrogant, so enmeshed in the past that he had turned away from the future. He had betrayed her in a manner no ordinary person would ever forgive.

But Daisy wasn’t ordinary. Loving was as natural to her as breathing. She was no more capable of withholding her love than she was of deliberately hurting someone. He’d throw himself on the mercy of her sweetness and generosity. He’d take advantage of her tender, loving heart. There would be no more secrets from her. He’d tell her everything he felt, and if that didn’t soften her to him, he’d remind her of those sacred vows they’d spoken. He’d play upon her sympathies, bully her, make love to her until she no longer remembered that he’d betrayed her. He’d remind her that she was a Markov now, and Markov women stuck by their men, even when those men didn’t deserve it.

The window of the trailer was still dark. He decided he’d better let her sleep for now and give her time to recover, but when morning came, he’d do whatever was necessary to win her back.

The crowd left the big top, and he set to work. As the top came down, he wanted to prove his love to her, give her some tangible sign that everything would be different between them. He glanced at the darkened trailer window, then raced for his truck. Ten minutes later, he found an all-night convenience store.

The selection was limited, but he filled his arms with everything he could find: a child’s box of animal crackers, a blue plastic rattle and fluffy yellow duck, a paperback copy of Dr. Spock, a plastic bib printed with a lop-eared rabbit, fruit juice, and a box of oatmeal because she had to eat well.

He sped back to the circus with his offerings, and the sack tore as he snatched it from the front seat. He held it together in his big hands and ran toward the trailer. When she saw all this she’d understand what she meant to him. What their baby meant. She’d know how much he loved her.

He dropped the rattle as he twisted the knob on the door. The plastic bounced once on the metal step and then rolled into the grass. He rushed inside.

She was gone.





22




Max Petroff glared at Alex. “Why are you wasting your time looking for her here? I told you I’d get in touch with you if she contacted us.”

Alex stared blindly out the window that overlooked Central Park and searched for a good answer. He couldn’t remember her the last time he’d had a decent meal or slept more than a few hours without jolting awake. His stomach was giving him trouble, he’d lost weight, and he knew he looked like hell.

It had been a month since Daisy had run away, and he was no closer to locating her today than he’d been that night she’d fled. As he’d chased one lead after another, he’d missed more performances than he could count, but neither he nor the detective he’d hired had come up with anything.

Max had given him a list of the names of everyone he knew that Daisy might contact, and Alex had spoken with each of them, but it was as if she’d slipped off the edge of the earth. He only prayed her angel’s wings were keeping her aloft.

He turned slowly to face Max. “I thought you might have missed something. She didn’t have more than a hundred dollars on her when she left.”

Amelia spoke from the couch. “Really, Alex. Do you think Max would keep information from you after all the work he did to get the two of you together?”

Amelia’s arch manner always set his teeth on edge, and with his nerves stretched so taut they were ready to snap, he couldn’t conceal his dislike. “The fact is, my wife has disappeared, and nobody seems to know a damned thing about it.”

“Calm down, Alex. We’re just as worried as you are.”

“If you ask me,” Amelia said, “you should question that worker who saw her last.”

Alex had cross-examined Al Porter until he was convinced the old man had nothing more to tell him. While Alex had been making his foolish trip to the convenience store, Al had seen Daisy standing on the side of the highway flagging down an eighteen-wheeler. She’d been wearing jeans and carrying Alex’s small valise.