Kiss an Angel(109)

“I’m sorry. I didn’t notice it was empty.”

“You never notice,” he said belligerently. “Do you think it runs on air?”

She gritted her teeth. It was as if she’d gotten too close to him that night and he needed to distance her. So far she’d managed to dodge all the grenades he kept lobbing at her, but it was growing increasingly difficult to keep her temper in check. Now she had to force herself to speak in a reasonable tone of voice. “I didn’t know you wanted me to do it. You’ve always kept the truck gassed.”

“Yeah, well in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been kind of busy lately. We’ve had sick horses, a fire in the cook tent, and now I’ve got a blackmailing health inspector threatening to slap us with a batch of safety violations we don’t deserve.”

“I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure. If you’d said something, I would have been happy to get gas.”

“Yeah, right. How many times have you ever worked a pump?”

She mentally counted to five. “None. But I can learn.”

“Don’t bother.” He stalked away.

She couldn’t hold her tongue a moment longer. Splaying one hand on her hip, she called out, “You have a nice day, too!”

He stopped in his tracks, then turned to give her one of his blackest stares. “Don’t push me.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped the toe of her sneaker in the dirt. Just because he was on the run from a tumult of feelings he didn’t know how to cope with didn’t mean he could keep taking his frustration out on her. For days now she’d been trying to be patient, but enough was enough.

He set his jaw and stomped toward her.

She dug in her heels, refusing to budge.

He came to a stop directly in front of her, deliberately using his size to intimidate her.

She was forced to admit he did it very well.

“Do you have a problem with something?” he barked out.

This whole argument was ridiculous, and a streak of mischief made her smile. “If anybody ever tells you that you’re beautiful when you’re angry, they’re lying.”

His face flushed, and for a moment, she thought he was going to explode. Instead, he lifted her by the elbows and pressed her against the floss wagon. Then he kissed her until she was breathless.

When he finally set her back on her feet, he looked even more foul-tempered than he had before their kiss. “I’m sorry!” he shouted.

As an apology, it wasn’t impressive, and as he stomped away, he looked more like a rampaging tiger than a repentant husband. Although she knew he was suffering, she had just about lost patience. Why did he have to make everything so hard for them? Why couldn’t he simply accept the fact that he loved her?

She remembered the vulnerability she’d seen in his eyes that night when he’d asked her to give him a little more time, and she suspected he was afraid to give a name to what he felt for her. The conflict between his emotions and what he believed he knew about himself was ripping him apart.

That’s what she’d been telling herself, anyway, because the alternative—that he might not love her at all—didn’t bear thinking about, especially since she still hadn’t told him about the baby.

She had all sorts of excuses for her cowardice. When things had been going well between them, she hadn’t wanted to risk spoiling their harmony, and now that everything was falling apart, she’d lost her nerve.

But it was cowardice, nonetheless, and she forced herself to face the truth. Trouble needed to be confronted, but instead, she kept running from it. It had been nearly a month since she’d taken the pregnancy test. She estimated she was about two and a half months pregnant, but she hadn’t gone to a doctor because she didn’t want to risk Alex finding out about it. The fact that she was taking excellent care of herself was no excuse for not getting started on proper medical care, especially since she needed to make certain the baby hadn’t been harmed by the birth control pills she’d been taking before she’d discovered they hadn’t done their job and she was pregnant.

She stuck her fingers in the pockets of her jeans and made up her mind. There wouldn’t be any more postponements. He was impossible to live with right now, anyway, so what difference did it make? By the time they went to bed tonight, she would have told him. It had taken two people to make this baby, and it was time both of them lived up to their responsibilities.

As soon as the afternoon performance was over, she went to find him, but the truck was gone. She grew increasingly nervous. After putting this off for so long, now all she wanted to do was have it over with.

Her next chance should have been at dinner, but Alex’s troubles with the local health inspector kept him away until it was time for the evening performance. Now, as she approached the back door to wait for their act to begin, she saw him standing off to the side with Misha, who was loosely tied to a stake. One of his whips was coiled around his shoulder with the butt hanging free across his chest. The breeze rumpled his dark hair, and the fading evening light cast deep shadows across his profile.

No one approached him. It was as if he’d drawn an invisible circle around himself and the gelding, a circle that shut out everyone in the world, including her. Especially her. The red sequins in his sash glittered as he ran his hand over the horse’s flanks, and her frustration with him grew. Why did he have to be so pigheaded?