Kiss Me (Fool's Gold #17)(71)

“Plus, it’s what you love. It’s not as if you feel trapped by your destiny or anything.”

Zane didn’t answer. She looked at him.

“Do you feel trapped?”

“Not in the way you mean. But there are times...” His mouth twisted at the corners, but he didn’t smile. “When I was about Chase’s age, my father decided to improve the bloodline in our horses, so he went out and bought an expensive stallion. The ranch was in trouble—he couldn’t afford the horse, but he was determined.”

Phoebe frowned slightly. The ranch looked plenty prosperous to her. Was that a recent development?

“That stallion was a real beauty,” Zane continued. “Spirited, strong and stubborn. He wasn’t to be ridden. My dad laid down the law on that one right away.”

She got a bad feeling in her belly. “You rode him, didn’t you?”

Zane shrugged. “Sure. I was a kid. Impulsive, plus I hated that my old man didn’t trust me. I took him out that first afternoon. He moved like the wind. He took fences and gullies. I’d never felt such speed or drive in a horse before. But we’d been having some heavy rains, and the horse slipped in the mud. I went flying and he fell. I broke an arm, and he broke two legs.”

She winced. “That must have hurt.”

“I got over my break easily enough, but the stallion had to be put down. My dad was furious. He hadn’t called the insurance company yet, so we weren’t covered. He still owed more money than we had, and without stud fees, there was no way to make the payments. He ended up selling some land to cover the costs.”

Phoebe shivered slightly. She didn’t have to ask about the rest of it—she’d already figured out that Zane’s father was a hard man who didn’t excuse mistakes or those who made them.

“He never said a word,” Zane said quietly. “That was the worst of it. He never let me say I was sorry, or make up for it. For him, I didn’t exist anymore.”

“But you were his son.”

He glanced at her. “That didn’t matter. I did my best to never screw up again, but it was too late. Every day I walked to the fence line and stared at the land we’d lost. I was determined to get it back.”

She had a thousand questions. “The ranch is okay now, right?”

“Yeah. It took me a few years, but we’re profitable.”

“And this is why you’re so hard on Chase. You don’t want him to go through what you went through.”

“Right. I tried talking to my dad before he died, but he wouldn’t listen. He said it didn’t matter, but I knew it did.”

She felt his pain and wanted to make it better. She wanted to go back in time and hold the young man he’d been, telling him that he’d made a mistake—nothing more. The punishment he’d endured didn’t fit the crime.

“Your father was wrong,” she told him. “You’re worth more than any horse or any piece of land.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I don’t know if it’s true. Maybe if I’d been able to get the land back.”

“Why can’t you?”

“The man who bought it—Reilly Konopka—won’t sell it to me.” He sounded grim. “I saved until I had enough, but when I approached him, he wouldn’t sell. He wanted to give it to me.”

Phoebe blinked. “As a gift?”

“I couldn’t take it that way. But he wouldn’t let me, the old bastard. So he still owns the land, and I still fight the ghosts.”

She didn’t know what to say. Knowing Zane as she did, she understood the problem—Zane couldn’t accept the land without earning it. In his mind, he had to make peace with the past, and that was his only way.

She ached for him. Why couldn’t he see that he would never be able to make things right with his father—he could only make them right with himself? That this wasn’t about land, but about forgiveness and love.

“I go see Reilly every couple of years, and he pisses me off by refusing my money.”

Phoebe wondered how much of the problem was Zane’s neighbor acting more like a father than Zane’s own flesh and blood.

“Eventually I’ll wear him down,” he said. “I’ll beat this.”

Phoebe wasn’t so sure. Winning a battle was more difficult when the opponent refused to participate in the fight.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THE FIRE SNAPPED and danced, creating shadows on the ground. Zane leaned back against a log and sipped his coffee. The night was still and cool, with no hint of stars above the cloud cover. The forecasted rain had yet to fall, and he was beginning to believe that they were going to get through the cattle drive without some kind of disaster.

Even as the thought formed, he made a fist and knocked on the log. No point in tempting fate. Not when there were still two days and plenty of miles between his greenhorns and the safety of the house.

He glanced around at the people sitting by the fire. They were all there. Even Cookie had pulled up an old stump and taken a seat.

Maya sat with Phoebe and Chase. He didn’t linger on that group, because he knew what would happen. His gaze would settle on Phoebe, and he wouldn’t want to look away. Not with the firelight making her eyes shine and her skin glow. Not with the sound of her voice easing inside of him and tying him up in knots. She was five kinds of temptation with just enough hell thrown in to make things interesting.