Illuminae (The Illuminae Files #1)(44)


Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah. i had to work up the guts to actually DO IT. So i practiced in my head. every time i walked you home.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: you were pretty good, in case you were wondering

ByteMe: you never told me that, the whole time we were together.

ByteMe: i mean, I’m not usually the kind to sit around and wait to be asked out, and wait to be kissed, but you were just SO hard to read. And you were a giant jock. I thought if you knocked me back, the whole school would probably know about it. so I just kept watching stupid geeball games and trying to figure u out.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: lol how is walking you home approximately one zillion times hard to read, grant? why’d you THINK i was there?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: YOU ARE SO BAD AT THIS

ByteMe: so I’m bad at it. I can’t help my natural disability. you’re the one who chose to hang out with me.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: chose? no.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: no choice whatsoever

Mason, E, LT 2nd: <3

ByteMe: you think you’re so smooth

ByteMe: and you goddamn are

ByteMe: drives me nuts

ByteMe: <3

Mason, E, LT 2nd: i should’ve just kissed you right away instead of being scared

Mason, E, LT 2nd: all that time i wasted

Mason, E, LT 2nd: all the times i could’ve showed you how much i cared

Mason, E, LT 2nd: and i just let them slide. like we had all the time in the verse

ByteMe: we did. and I know you do, Ez. and I was just as bad, spending all that time arguing about u coming off planet with me when we could have been talking about bigger things.

ByteMe: we could have been together after college, if that’s what it took.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: i don’t think that would’ve happened

ByteMe: …

ByteMe: you really mean that?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: it’s not that I wouldn’t have wanted to

Mason, E, LT 2nd: but there’s a reason why my dad and I were on a tiny outer rim snowball like Kerenza, kades

Mason, E, LT 2nd: and a reason why I wouldn’t leave

Mason, E, LT 2nd: even to be with you

ByteMe: so. Confession time?

ByteMe: does this reason have a name?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: leanne

ByteMe: ?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: but my dad just called her the psychopath

Mason, E, LT 2nd: I called her mom

ByteMe: wait

ByteMe: You’re telling me the reason we had all those screaming fights, the reason you refused to leave kerenza, the reason you wouldn’t even entertain the IDEA of coming to college with me

ByteMe: was your mother?

ByteMe: your dad moved to kerenza to get away from your MOTHER?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: not to get away from

Mason, E, LT 2nd: to hide from

Mason, E, LT 2nd: you wouldn’t understand

Mason, E, LT 2nd: she’s just

Mason, E, LT 2nd: she’s just not a nice person, kades.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: she’s bad news. works for some bad people

Mason, E, LT 2nd: and I don’t want to spend what might be our last conversation talking about her, ok?

ByteMe: …

ByteMe: ok

ByteMe: but we’re not done yet. And you can be damn sure we’re talking about this more when i get us out of this

Mason, E, LT 2nd: the lincoln is 24 hours away, kady

Mason, E, LT 2nd: we’ve got one day left

ByteMe: you have no idea how much i can do in just one day

Mason, E, LT 2nd: a fully equipped BT Dreadnought carries a complement of 94 warlock class fighters

Mason, E, LT 2nd: 24 capricorn-4 10.8 megaton nuclear warheads, plus another dozen 50mt goliath shipkillers

Mason, E, LT 2nd: and a defense grid you couldn’t fly a spitball through

Mason, E, LT 2nd: k go

ByteMe: you have me

ByteMe: and forget all that romance stuff

ByteMe: THIS is what i’m good at

Mason, E, LT 2nd: they reinstated my flight status, kady

ByteMe: f*ck

Mason, E, LT 2nd: when the shitstorm hits, I’m going to be right in the middle of it

ByteMe: …

ByteMe: Byron and I are working on something.

ByteMe: we’ll go out fighting if that’s what happens, but i swear to you Ez, we’re not done yet.

ByteMe: so stay in one piece. that’s how I like you.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: if

Mason, E, LT 2nd: i don’t come back

Mason, E, LT 2nd: u know i love you, right?

ByteMe: i know.

ByteMe: that feels like the most inadequate thing I’ve ever said, but I know. and I love you too.

ByteMe: i have to get back to work, Byron’s yelling at me for slowing down

Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah

Mason, E, LT 2nd: ok

Mason, E, LT 2nd: god i wish i could kiss you goodbye

ByteMe: this must be why you spent all those walks kissing me in your head. it was practice for this moment.

ByteMe: i’m imagining kissing you back, right now

ByteMe: i hear I’m pretty good

COUNTDOWN TO LINCOLN INTERCEPTION OF ALEXANDER FLEET:

10 hours: 42 minutes

ByteMe: Byron, maybe we should tell command i’m here

ByteMe: i could work faster in person with u

Zhang, B: veto

ByteMe: what’s the worst that happens at this stage? we’re staring down the barrel already

Amie Kaufman, Jay Kr's Books