Hanging On (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2)(67)

“Adam,” I started gently, “maybe you should try to see it her way.” He stiffened. “Just a little.” I paused until he looked like he would listen. “All she knows is how to rely on herself. The only thing she trusts is her girlfriends because we don’t want anything from her. Unconditional love. She has never had that with a guy.”

“But—“

I help up my hand. “Let me finish. She is a beautiful woman. Guys want to do her. All they see is her beauty. She is smart, too, which sucks because she can see what men want from her. When they find out she is strong and independent, they walk away. They want her pretty and ditzy, and unlike a lot of girls, she will not reduce herself to that stereotype to get men. Which is why we love her.”

“I don’t give no two shits about L.A. and stereotypes or whatnot. That ain’t what none of this is about!” He looked away in frustration.

It was amazing that he continued to care enough to try and make amends. Most men would have given up, called her a bitch, and went their own way by now. I had seen it often enough.

Dramatic pause. When he didn’t fill the silence, I continued in a patient voice.

“All she has ever done is look after herself. She has looked after herself and all of us. She is our protector. She is the reason I was not defiled by Dusty.” He winced. “Her brothers and father let her fall on her face, then waited until she picked herself up. She got tough love, they didn’t ever reach down to help her up. Ever.”

That comment woke him up. A sliver of compassion wormed into the stubborn lines etched on his face.

“So when you tell her that she is incapable of protecting herself," I continued, "especially when she probably just got done doing what you call a man’s job of protecting all the women in her care, because there was no man present other than the one hurting, well...that galls a little. Can’t you see that?”

“But Jessica, they shouldn’t have to.” His gentle-heartedness and blind faith in that statement both made me want to hug him and kick him at the same time. I suddenly got what Lump was so mad about.

“No Adam. They shouldn’t. And they wouldn’t if all men were like you. But there are the Dusty’s out there. Dusty’s that might not be bigger, but are certainly stronger. And the Adam’s can’t be there all the time, as you know. As I know. Without Lump’s coaching, I would be dealing with a lot more than a fear of strange men right now.”

He hung his head. Hard to argue with that logic.

“Look,” I said in a hurry, “I am not blaming anyone. I am just saying that you are truly naive if you think that women don’t need to look after themselves. If you think you will always be there for them. You can’t. You just can’t. Not unless you wrap us in a black sheet and take away all our rights. And if you did that, I would stick a knife in your big back.”

He laughed. “But Jess, she hates me.”

“Yeah, and you hate her. At least for the part of her that doesn’t need you. She's independent, which I think you like. But she's not invincible. And nether are you."

“Alright, alright." He shook his head. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”

“Okay. Then stop trying to push her around. Figure out a way to be nice without pissing her off. Maybe just ask her to move, rather than physically lifting her out of the way. If she still gives attitude, give her hell with my blessing.”

He nodded, indicating the talk was over.

I rejoined William, slipping my hand onto his leg. He squeezed my hand, but didn't turn away from the conversation he was having about bull riding with Ty. I thought now might be a great time to talk to Lump as I did Adam. It was only fair. Maybe that could prevent them from killing each other before Lump left.

"Lump," I waited for her to look at me. I kept the same patient tone. I had to hurry, though, I was running low on caring. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about Adam."

She immediately ceased up, her defenses slamming into place. It was amazing how much he got to her. He must know how to push her buttons as well as she his. I hadn't seen her this riled up in a long time. What a mess.

"You don't like him, we get it, but chill-ax about it, would ya? You have to get along." Short and sweet.

"Jess, I know that, but every time he opens his big fat mouth he says something that makes me want to punch him. It is a marvel that I haven't already. He is a dense, egotistical, misogynist."

"I know he comes off that way to you. He comes off that way to me sometimes, too. But it isn't how he means it. It really isn't. I don't know him that well, not as well as I know you, but I do know that when he steps in your way, his idea is that he is getting you out of harm’s way. He puts himself in a place to shield you—he takes it all onto himself. He is still torn up that he wasn't there to help me with the whole Dusty situation the first time.

"He just can't fathom a man wanting to hurt a woman. He is a strong, tough guy, and he has always believed that women are weaker and mostly defenseless, which, you have to admit, is more often true then not." Lump bristled. "It was how he was raised. And to his credit, a lot of men take advantage of that, and a lot of women can’t do anything about it. He feels he needs to always stick up for them—you, me, some random girl. That is all he is trying to do. Not many men have met a girl with your...skill set.”