Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(56)

“Acquaintances,” he said. “I haven’t known them long and met them through Dash.”

A prickle of awareness stirred at her nape. Damon’s name rang a sudden bell with her. Joss had mentioned him. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was the owner of the place Joss had joined and intended to go to in her quest for dominance. And if Jensen knew him . . .

“Are you a member there?” she asked quietly.

He didn’t pretend to misunderstand her. He was ever blunt, a fact she appreciated. She never had to wonder where she stood with him or what he was thinking or feeling because he never held anything back with her.

Except his need for dominance.

She flinched at that reminder, still raw over the knowledge that he was denying a huge part of himself. For her.

“I’m a member, yes. But as of yet I haven’t participated and now I have no intention of ever doing so.”

“Chessy and Tate and Joss and Dash go there,” Kylie murmured.

“Yes, I know,” he said calmly. “But I’ve never been there when they were there. In fact, I’ve only been twice, both times for the application process and to tour the facilities.”

She pursed her lips, wondering if she even wanted to know the answer to her next question. She knew of the lifestyle. She’d heard enough of Chessy and Joss’s conversations to have a good idea of just what went on there, but she’d never gotten explicit details. She wasn’t even sure why her curiosity was stirred.

“What exactly goes on there?” she finally asked. “I mean Chessy and Joss have talked about it but to be honest most of the time I shut them out because I didn’t want to know. And I was worried sick about Joss when she first said she was going to start attending.”

“Why would you want to know now?” he asked softly.

She shrugged. “Just curious, I suppose. I mean it’s not that I’m interested in going there. I guess I should drop it. I don’t like to remind you of what you’re being denied.”

“Kylie. Look at me, baby.”

She glanced up, meeting his gaze. His stare was intense and utterly focused on her. He radiated seriousness.

“I’m not being denied anything. I made a choice, one that I do not regret. I have no interest in The House any longer. What I want and what I need is right here in front of me.”

Even though logically she knew all of this, relief still surged through her veins, leaving a tightness in her chest that was almost painful.

“Do you believe that, baby?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, I do, Jensen. But I won’t lie. At times it worries me that you’ve given up so much for me.”

“Maybe you should focus more on what I’ve gained,” he pointed out. “Because from where I’m standing, I haven’t given up a damn thing, and I’ve gained far more than I ever dreamed of.”

Reassured by the sincerity of his words, she plunged ahead.

“So what does go on there?” she asked with more confidence. Knowing didn’t hurt her. It didn’t involve her. It did nothing more than assuage her curiosity over the lifestyle her two best friends lived.

“The House is a place for people to indulge themselves in all manner of sexual fantasies. Pretty much everything goes. Within reason, of course. It’s not only about dominance and submission. There are plenty of other fantasies that people delight in. It’s a place where they can freely—and safely—indulge themselves.”

“So is it, like, public? I mean do the people who go there act these fantasies out in front of everyone else there?”

It was a little mind-boggling to imagine Chessy and Joss doing whatever it was they did for everyone to see, and maybe a small part of her didn’t want to imagine her friends in those kinds of situations. Definitely an occasion for brain bleach.

“Some do. Some don’t. The option is there for both,” he said with a shrug. “There is a common room where everything is public. But there are also private rooms, monitored by security so no one gets hurt.”

“It sounds . . . different,” she said lamely, not knowing what else to say about something she had no understanding of. The mere idea of having sex in public gave her hives. She could barely muster the courage to do it in private much less for the world to see.

He chuckled lightly. “It is different. But not so very much for the people who go. To them it’s the normal course of their sexuality. Whatever works. As long as it’s sane and consensual, to each his own.”

Well that certainly put her in her place. And perhaps she needed to not be so judgmental. Who was she to pass judgment on other people anyway? She had so many hang-ups that it would take a psychologist years to sort through, so it wasn’t as if she could talk.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Jensen soothed. “I would never dream of bringing you there. I have no desire for the place any longer. When I first met Dash and we spoke of it, it intrigued me, yes. I even pursued membership. But then I met you. Or rather I met you and then pursued the membership but then once I got it, I had no desire to go. I wanted . . . you.”

“I’ll never understand why,” she said honestly. “But I’m so glad you didn’t go and that you do want me, issues and all. You give me hope, Jensen. The first real hope I’ve had in my entire life to enjoy a normal relationship. Or as normal as we’ll ever be, I suppose.”