Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(60)

“And sometimes I wonder if she blamed me,” he said baldly. “For not protecting her. For allowing him to hurt her. If she hated me for it. For my weakness.”

Kylie rose over him, her eyes stricken. “Jensen, no! You were just a child. You were the one who was supposed to be protected. By your father and your mother. It wasn’t your job to protect her. You aren’t to blame for what he did.”

“I wish I could believe that,” he said wearily. “I just wish I could tell her I was sorry. She was a good woman. But she’d been beaten down too many times. Her spirit was just broken. She was utterly defeated and in the end I just don’t think she had anything left. Maybe she didn’t want me to see her that way. Maybe that’s why she tried to get me to leave and when I didn’t, she did. I guess I’ll never know.”

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him to her. He could feel dampness on her cheek. Her tears for him shining on her skin.

The very last thing he wanted was to cause her pain. To make her remember. He wrapped his arms around her, thrusting his fingers into her hair, just holding her close.

“Two wounded souls finding the light,” she whispered against his neck. “We need each other, Jensen. We understand all too well.”

“I do need you,” he said, the words a benediction. “So much, baby. I can’t even explain it to myself, how you mean so much to me in such a short time. I never believed in destiny before but you’re clearly mine. Made for me.”

“And you were made for me,” she said, rising above him again.

Her hair streamed over her shoulders, falling over his face, silken strands caressing his skin. Then she lowered her lips to his, breathing him in as she kissed him.

Warm and so very sweet. Soft and soothing. She sipped at him, tasting and then drinking deeply from him.

She hesitated for a brief moment, sorrow entering her gaze.

“Let me get the rope.”

Her words were more of an apology than a statement or declaration. She was apologizing for needing the goddamn rope. Didn’t she know that he’d tie himself to the bed for the rest of his life if that was the only way he could have her?

“In the drawer,” he said, latching onto her gaze, telling her without words not to apologize. Not for this. Never for this.

She slid off the bed and returned a moment later with the rope and then very gently secured his wrists to the headboard. She wouldn’t meet his gaze and it gutted him that she would feel shame for the way they made love.

“Kylie, baby, look at me, please.”

She finished securing the last knot and then sat back on her heels, her gaze slowly drifting upward until it locked with his.

“I’m okay with this. I need you to be okay with it too. And we don’t have to do this right now. It’s been a heavy night. I’m just as happy to hold you.”

She shook her head, her eyes going soft with love. Then she leaned down and kissed him, tugging at his bottom lip with a playful nip.

“I want to make love to you right now,” she whispered against his mouth. “I need to show you my love. Not just say it. You’ve been so strong for me. It’s my turn to be strong for you. To let you lean on me for once. Let me do this. For you. For us.”

He groaned, his dick threatening to tear a hole in his underwear. He was desperate for her. He needed her. Wanted her touch. Her sweetness and her light. Tonight more than ever.

She brushed her mouth over his chin and down his neck, sliding over his chest and further, over his taut abdomen. He flinched, his muscles tightening as her tongue swept a path across his flesh.

She made love to him as sweetly with her mouth as he’d ever been made love to. He was on fire for her, his need a desperate, tangible thing.

She hooked her fingers in the band of his underwear and gently tugged downward. His dick surged upward, bursting free of constraint. Already, moisture beaded and seeped from the tip. He had no control around her, given freely or not.

She licked a path upward on the underside of his erection and then back down again, swirling and lavishing sweetness over his balls. He pulled against his restraints, reaching for her even as he knew the impossibility of such an action. One day. One day he’d touch her as she was touching him. He’d caress and stroke the fire inside her to fever pitch.

She circled the head with her tongue and then sucked him deep into her mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head as pleasure exploded in his groin. Then she slid up, letting the tip fall free from her lips.

Her eyes glowing with resolve, she pulled her pajama top up and over her head, baring her br**sts to his avid gaze. He sucked in his breath, afraid to hope when she went for her bottoms.

It took her a moment to get free of the bottoms and then her panties followed suit, baring her completely.

He soaked in every inch of her skin, her curves and swells, a feast of feminine flesh that had him salivating with the need to taste and touch her.

“Baby, you don’t have to do this.”

There was fire and determination in her eyes. “Yes, I do. I want to. I need to.”

“Take your time then,” he gently urged. “We have all night.”

“You’ll have to help me,” she said hesitantly. “Tell me what to do.”

His heart softened. She was trying so very hard and he never loved her more than at this moment.