Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)(73)

Lost in memories, I sat there punishing myself, reliving the times I’d really f*cked up. I went back to my teen years, to the time I’d fallen in love with Raoul. I hadn’t known then that he was the wolf who’d attacked my family after my mother had driven him into a jealous rage. Looking back on it though, it felt like I should’ve known. Juliet did her best to ensure I never forgot that I’d slept with my mother’s lover.

Killing Veryl was another one of my great sins. He’d forgiven me for it. I knew that from my time between life and death, though I doubted I’d ever forgive myself for killing one of the few people who’d had my best interests at heart.

Being unable to save Lena and even Zoey, their lost lives haunted me. Neither death had directly been my fault though they had both happened because of me in some way.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed while I sat there lost in times long past, regretting them still. It had to be hours. At some point I’d moved onto the bed so my back was pressed against the wall. I clutched a piece of the simple blue comforter between my fingers. It smelled of laundry soap that was too heavily perfumed.

As I went through the human lives I’d taken just this past week alone, I wanted to cry. The tears never came though. I was already too far beyond them, in a place where raw emotion had faded into detached numbness that spread through me, seeking to devour.

Becoming a vampire had brought out the worst in me. No. Those things had been growing before the transition. A victim of my own power, I’d fed them, made them grow.

A small voice of reason spoke up amid my pity party. It told me that it was useless to focus on such things, a waste of energy, and a poor excuse to keep from moving forward. That voice was quickly drowned out by the blood and screams that surged forward to haunt me.

A cool breeze blew through the small room, an impossibility on its own except for where ghosts and evil entities were concerned. On the wind came the unspoken whisper, ‘Welcome back, lost wolf. Have you still not found your way?’

I stiffened, feeling very much not alone. “I have nothing to say to you.”

A cold chill crept over me, causing me to shiver. It was the first time I’d shivered since awaking after my death.

My rejection did nothing to deter the entity. It pressed harder, testing my resolve. ‘I felt your death,’ it said. ‘I tasted it.’

I thought of Arys, lost in blissful ecstasy as he drained the blood from me. “Yeah, well, you weren’t the only one.”

Letting my head fall back against the cold stone wall, I stared at the ceiling and waited for it to get bored and move on to torment someone else. It taunted me a few more times, trying to find my weakness. There were many for it to choose from.

‘The Hound of Light likes to play in the dark. You belong to me now.’

It chattered on like that for some time. Each word stoked the flames of my anger, but it wasn’t like I could bitch slap an invisible entity. So I did my best to ignore it. Then it started to really get personal.

‘Look at the vampire queen, all locked up like a miserable human. Where is your power now? Flown away on mechanical wings, leaving you behind. Such a shame. But no, that was your sad heart.’

Somehow it knew about Kale. Had it heard my silent communication with Arys? Did it know us all so well? The FPA were fools to house their headquarters in a place with such a thing. Did they even realize what was here with them?

After my silence continued, it fell quiet, and I felt it slip away. Though it never really left. The energy of it pulsed everywhere, throughout the entire building and the land it was built on. I could feel it like pressure in my head, speaking to my dark side.

I wasn’t going to last two nights at this rate. Between the boredom, the guilty thoughts, and the evil entity, I was going to lose what little was left of my damn mind.

I was slipping from sound mind into madness when I felt the air ripple. No way. Tense, I sat up straighter and waited for the unseen newcomer. It could be a few different people. I slumped back in disappointment and relief when Falon appeared in the middle of the room.

“Don’t look so damn happy to see me,” he said with a scowl. “Please, really, contain your enthusiasm.”

I’d hoped it was Willow and dreaded it was Shya. With a shrug I mumbled, “If you were expecting some kind of applause or something you have the wrong audience. What are you doing here anyway?”

He cast a glance down at the shattered remains of the chair and kicked a few pieces aside. “Maybe one day that won’t be the first thing you say when you see me.”

I didn’t reply, merely regarded him with a raised brow.

His exasperated sigh was forced and highly exaggerated. “Fuck, Alexa, would it kill you to fake a smile? Or a personality?”

Along with my best fake smile, I shot him a middle finger. Falon’s presence was suspicious. Until I knew who sent him and what he was doing here, I couldn’t trust him. Well, I wouldn’t trust him anyway.

Falon perched on the edge of the desk and fixed me with curious silver eyes. “I came to save you, of course. Saving your ass seems to be a thing lately, doesn’t it? I tried to warn you about this nonsense with your sister, but you didn’t listen.”

“Excuse me? Saving my ass? Is that what you think you’ve been doing?” My laughter was maniacal. I wasn’t sure if it was due to Falon’s apparent lunacy or the evil entity manipulating my emotions.