Forged in Steele (KGI #7)(72)

Her eyes flared and her nostrils quivered as she stared back at him. There was clear relief in her eyes, and her shoulders drooped downward as if she’d been tense until his reply.

“And I’ll tell you something else,” he murmured, leaning in until their mouths were tantalizingly close. “I plan to have you back in my bed. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow or even next week. But it’s going to happen, and we both know it.”

CHAPTER 27

STEELE left Maren to make her phone calls, but he remained close, intentionally listening in. It probably made him an ass**le to eavesdrop on her phone call, but at this point, he’d take any advantage he could in finding out any information that helped him achieve his goal.

It hadn’t completely solidified in his mind exactly what his end goal was. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to let Maren out of his sight. No way he was walking away from her, not when she and their baby needed him the most.

It tormented his thoughts that if he’d known there was any possibility that she was pregnant, he would have never left her and she wouldn’t have been taken by Tristan Caldwell. He understood her reasons. He wasn’t angry with her for not telling him. But he wished she had. He wished she had shared her suspicions and her fears. They could have faced them together, and he would have been there when she got those damn lab results in.

He was suddenly thinking long term, and that unsettled him. His life had always been carefully mapped out. He planned to work with KGI at least another ten years before he even considered retirement. By then he’d have enough money amassed in his bank account and investments to live comfortably the rest of his life. But even as he eyed that time frame, he knew that if he was still in good health and hadn’t managed to get killed or seriously maimed himself, he’d get bored just sitting around, hunting and fishing and being out of action.

In ten years he’d be approaching fifty. Beyond when most men settled down, got married, had children. But he’d never considered having a serious relationship when he was still actively involved with KGI. It didn’t seem fair to leave a wife and children and go off to parts unknown where he ran the risk of not making it back. No woman wanted that kind of uncertainty, and he couldn’t blame her.

But now Maren—and the impending arrival of their child—had changed everything on a dime. And he wasn’t sure what the hell to do about that fact. When he thought of living separate lives, of seeing his child only when their schedules permitted, of being a part-time father, he didn’t like it one bit. That wasn’t who he was. It was never who he wanted to be.

But what did Maren herself want? That was the million-dollar question. But he could hardly ask it when he himself didn’t have the answer to what he wanted.

Did he want Maren with him? Absolutely. Did he want their child with them both? No question there. But how to arrange that, work out a relationship with Maren and juggle both their careers? He didn’t have a clue.

It took everything he had not to pull a caveman routine, lay down the law and tell her how things were going to be. He’d be a lying son of a bitch if he denied wanting to do just that. It gave him an extreme measure of satisfaction to think of simply telling Maren that she’d stay with him, and they’d raise their child together. Hell, maybe they should even get married. He liked the idea of her and their child having his name. But that was a huge step when they barely knew each other aside from the times she’d provided medical care to his team and a few nights of really great sex. All the time he’d spent mentally lusting over her didn’t count as quality relationship building.

Most women needed a little more in the romance department than that before they agreed to commit to a guy. The time they’d spent when he’d gone back had been the best couple of days he’d had in longer than he could remember. And they hadn’t done much at all. Just talked, he’d helped her out at the clinic, and they’d cooked, talked some more and made love.

He wanted more days just like that. Getting to know each other. Savoring time together when they didn’t have a million other things going on and they weren’t being pulled in separate directions.

Maybe this would be his opportunity for just that. Maren was here, in his house. He damn sure wasn’t pulling any missions for a while. It would be just the two of them here. They could get to know one another better, talk through their options, make decisions about their future and their baby’s future together.

Steele ran a hand through his hair and blew out a weary breath. Damn, but the last few months were catching up to him fast. The stress of not knowing where Maren was or if she was okay, the constant on-the-go with his team and then the eventual retrieval and now the news that he was going to be a father.

He was conditioned to go long periods on nothing more than nerves and adrenaline, but he felt like he’d just hit the wall head-on. He needed rest and time to ponder the best strategy going forward. The idea of Maren leaving, of going off on her own, made his stomach knot. He didn’t want that. He wanted her here, and not just so he could protect her. That was a big part of it, yeah. But it wasn’t the only reason, and he was afraid to closely explore all the whys and wherefores of that particular revelation.

No doubt she was under his skin, but she was also quickly making her way into his heart. A heart that many would argue didn’t exist. The others might joke and say he was made of ice, but just a few minutes in Maren’s company and the ice melted faster than a snow cone in the middle of August.