Forged in Steele (KGI #7)(70)

“But with Mendoza, or Tristan, or whoever the hell he really is, it was personal. And I didn’t get that. I couldn’t believe that I was being singled out when I’ve made it a practice to do my job quietly and without a fuss. I guess that’s what I find so disturbing and why it upsets me so much. I’ve never had anything like this happen, and I still don’t understand why he did it. Why me? A man who has his kind of power and money could have hired the best darn physician money could buy. Guys like that don’t want a backwoods doctor who dispenses free medical care to the poverty stricken. And as I said, I’m not a woman who stops traffic, so I don’t understand why he fixated on me. Was it convenience? Proximity? I just happened to be in the area and he said, What the hell, she’s a doctor, I’ll take her?”

Steele put a finger over her lips and then rubbed soothingly. “Maybe we’ll never know. You can’t make yourself crazy trying to understand how crazy people think. But as for you not stopping traffic? Got news for you. I’d definitely notice you in a crowd.”

She flushed a delicate pink, color blooming in her cheeks. She bit into her bottom lip until he thumbed it to free it, and he softly pushed back so she wasn’t damaging the tender skin.

“So what do we do, Steele?” she asked quietly. “I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. I know neither of us planned on it. It may not have happened the way we wanted, but I don’t regret it now. I wouldn’t go back and undo my pregnancy. This baby is a part of me. I’ll do anything in the world to protect this child.”

He weighed her words, still processing the shock of discovering his impending fatherhood. “What we do”—he began slowly—“the very first thing we do is ensure your health and well-being and that of our child. You’ve had a very stressful few months, and even if Caldwell didn’t harm you physically, the strain wore you down. We need to make sure you’re healthy, the baby is healthy and that you both get the care you need.

“After that? You’ll stay here with me where I know you’re safe. This changes everything, Maren. I don’t know what your plans are or if you’ve even thought about it yet. Did you want to go back in the field so soon?”

Slowly, she shook her head. “If it were just me and I didn’t have a child to consider, I’d take another assignment. I wouldn’t allow some crazy bastard to dictate my life or make me so afraid that I couldn’t do my job. It’s more than a job, Steele. It’s a calling. I don’t know if you understand that, or maybe you think I’m nuts.”

“Not at all. We all have callings. Mine is KGI and our missions. I don’t think you’re nuts any more than I think I am for what I do. We both help people. We just do it in different ways.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Thanks for that, at least. And to answer your question, I don’t know. You’re right in that my pregnancy changes everything. Changes my priorities. I’ve lived out of the country for so long and I don’t have an actual place I call home here. I could stay with my parents until I figure it all out and until after the baby’s born.”

His frown was instant. There were a lot of problems with that scenario. Apart from the safety issues, he didn’t want her away from him. He wanted to be a part of this pregnancy. He wanted to be there when his child came into the world. And he couldn’t very well do that if she lived states away.

“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.

Her gaze was focused on him, her blue eyes inquiring.

“I don’t want you miles away from me,” he said bluntly. “I may not have planned this any more than you did, but I want to be a part of my child’s life, Maren. I want to see you get bigger. I want to feel him or her kick inside you. I want to see the sonogram pictures. And I damn sure want to be there for the birth. There’s no reason for you to do it alone. You won’t be alone. Because I’ll be there. Every step of the way.”

Her eyes widened, but he saw relief there. Had she wanted him with her? Had she been afraid he wouldn’t want to be a part of his child’s life?

“I’ve said what I want,” he continued. “But we haven’t talked about what you want.”

“I want you with me,” she whispered. “I’d like that a lot. I wasn’t sure. I mean, I know this was a huge bomb to drop on you. I know it’ll take you time to digest it all. I guess I was worried that you wouldn’t want much to do with me or the baby.”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s not going to happen. But you need to know that I’ll be overbearing. It’s who I am. And you have to prepare yourself for that. When it comes to your safety and the safety of our baby, I know myself well enough to know what kind of man I’ll be. And that will probably drive you crazy. It would drive most women crazy. I’ll try to be reasonable. I’ll try to take it down a notch. But I’m warning you from the start that the only way I know is head-on, and I’m used to having things done my way.”

Her lips twitched and amusement gleamed in her eyes. “I’m not one of your team members, Steele. Just remember that. I don’t take orders very well.”

He smiled ruefully. “I’ll try my best, but you’re going to have to be patient with me.”

“Make you a deal. I’ll be patient with you as long as you promise to be patient with me and to try to control your urge to boss me around.”