Forged in Steele (KGI #7)(71)

“Deal.”

“So where does that leave us, Steele? What do we do now? And do we try to figure out anything beyond the birth of our baby, or do we just take it as it comes and decide that when the time comes?”

He took a deep breath, wondering just how much he needed to lay on her right now. If he had his way, he’d move her into his home lock, stock and barrel and call it good. But he didn’t want to overwhelm her from the very start. Especially when he had no idea what his feelings were, what her feelings were or if they were even compatible as housemates.

He knew for damn certain that she wouldn’t live in his home without her eventually sleeping in his bed. That was a given. One time hadn’t been enough, even before he’d known she was carrying his child. She’d haunted his every thought ever since the nights they’d spent together, and that was before she’d gone missing. She’d only become more of an obsession once he’d been determined to find her and bring her home safely.

But he had no idea if that attraction was reciprocated. They’d had great sex, or at least it was to him. But just because they’d torn up the sheets a few times didn’t mean she’d be lining up to get into his bed again. And there was the fact that the first time he’d very bluntly told her that he wanted her out of his system, and then he’d left the next morning without another word, further contact or anything. He was still kicking himself over that. If he hadn’t been such an ass**le determined to exorcise her from his every thought, maybe she wouldn’t have ended up an unwilling guest of Javier Mendoza aka Tristan Caldwell. It was very possible he’d screwed up beyond redemption and she wouldn’t want anything to do with him other than letting him help her through her pregnancy.

And he’d be a complete bastard to come on strong so soon after her rescue anyway. She needed time to get her bearings, refocus her life and come to terms with everything that had happened in a short period of time before she could be expected to make any decisions regarding her pregnancy, her life and a relationship with him.

Relationship. The word stuck out like a neon sign in his mind. Was he contemplating an actual relationship? If someone had asked him six months before, he would have been quick to say a relationship was the very last thing he was looking for or wanted. His job was his life. His team was his life. And a permanent partner or lover would have had no part of the path he’d chosen. It wouldn’t be fair to a woman to have to share him with his team and his responsibilities to KGI.

Hell, it wouldn’t be fair to Maren or their child. Which meant he had some pretty big decisions in his future. Ones he didn’t want to contemplate yet. But then how could he possibly walk away from a woman who had become for all practical purposes an obsession, living in his thoughts on a constant basis? The mother of his child. A tiny little life that was of his blood. Someone who would depend on him for love and protection. No way could he back away from that responsibility. It wasn’t something he’d even consider.

Which meant that he and Maren were going to be inexorably tied for the rest of their lives, no matter what happened between them.

She was still waiting for a response, and he sucked in a breath before leveling his gaze in her direction, locking with hers.

“What I suggest is that for now, you stay with me. There’s a whole host of reasons, but we’ll go with the two most important. I won’t take chances with your safety or the baby’s. That means you need to be where I can protect you. Where I know you’re safe and taken care of. And you said yourself you didn’t have a residence stateside, which means that you’ll need a place to be comfortable as your pregnancy progresses. I’ve already vetoed you going to your folks because, and this ties in with reason number one, it isn’t safe. I don’t want you in that kind of danger and I don’t think you want your parents or brother at risk either.”

She shook her head adamantly. “No, I don’t.”

“Do you have a problem living here with me?” he asked softly.

She hesitated before slowly shaking her head again. “Do you have a problem with it?”

“I wouldn’t have offered unless it was something I was sure of.”

“But where does it leave . . . us?” she whispered. “Or is there even an us? I feel like an idiot here, Steele, but I don’t know what we are. Are we kind of friends who happen to be having a baby together? Are we former lovers who’ll have a civil relationship because it’s best for the baby? Or am I making a complete moron of myself for even thinking that the time we spent together was something more than you getting me out of your system?”

He snorted but was relieved that his earlier concern might well have been misplaced. He’d worried he’d ruined any chance of ever having her in his bed again. But if he was nothing else, he was determined, and he’d never given up on anything he wanted. And he definitely wanted her.

“I was a dumbass for thinking I would ever get you out of my system. If anything that night just dug you further under my skin than ever. You aren’t a moron, Maren. That night meant something to me too. More than I intended. I won’t lie to you. It was damn inconvenient, and no, I’m not talking about the baby. I have no regrets there. But that’s why I came back to you that time and why I had every intention of coming back to you again when my mission was completed. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that first night.”