Forbidden Falls (Virgin River #9)(78)

“Because an old man twice your age caught you coming in at almost five in the morning?” He chuckled. “Relax, Noah. You know I approve of you getting on with your life. You’re overdue.”

Noah took a sip, swallowed and said, “I’m not sure if you’re going to approve of how I’m going about it.”

“You don’t need my approval. I’m happy if you’re happy.”

“It’s not the spending-the-night part,” Noah said. “I know you’re not going to give me a hard time about that. It’s that I’m not sure Ellie is ready for all I’m willing to commit to. And I pushed her anyway.”

“What a shame,” George said. “Because it’s up to you to make sure no one is hurt by your actions.”

“I’ll do my very best,” Noah said. “I haven’t felt this way in such a long time, I barely recall how it’s supposed to feel. Ellie has a lot of doubts—about me, about everyone I hope to welcome into a church losing all respect for me when they find out I’m in love with her….”

“Obviously not everything is in doubt,” George said. “I know you, Noah. You’re not careless or impulsive. You plot. You think too much, actually. If I’m right, you left here with her thinking you might spend the night, or at least that you’d try to.”

“I was prepared. If it came to that.”

“Thank God. Listen, son. I think Ellie surprised you. You weren’t ready for a beautiful, bright and sassy young woman to make your world light up. And poor Ellie, she wasn’t ready to fall for you. I’d venture a guess that you’re not her type at all. Now, while you two work through whatever issues you have, try giving thanks and being happy. Gifts don’t come banging at the door every day. In a push-up bra, yet.” George peered at Noah. “It is a push-up bra, isn’t it?”

“Answering that would be indiscreet,” Noah said.

“I suppose,” he muttered in disappointment.

“She doesn’t want anyone to know about us. Not just that we’re intimate, but that we’re interested in each other. She doesn’t want a whiff of romance to be obvious between us. She said people will blame her, especially after they learn all about her past, which they inevitably will. She believes they’ll think she threw her evil web around me and trapped me. But, George, nothing could be further from the truth. There’s not a mean or insincere bone in her body. And I was on her like a duck on a june bug.” Noah shook his head. “It puts an ache in my chest that she would feel undeserving. God, I’ll have to work my whole life to deserve her.”

George looked down briefly. “I hate that she should have such self-esteem issues. With you, I’m used to that. But Ellie has too much joy despite her problems to do that to herself.”

“What do you mean, with me you’re used to that?” Noah demanded.

“You remind me of the man in the flood. The flood swamps his house and he stands on the roof. A boat comes along and he says, ‘Don’t worry about me, God will take care of me. Go save others.’ Not long after, the waters rising, a second boat comes along and he says the same thing. Soon enough, he’s perched on top of the chimney and a helicopter lowers a rope. ‘Don’t worry about me,’ he shouts. ‘God will take care of me.’ Well, of course the silly ass drowns. When he has his first meeting with God, he rails, ‘I believed in you, I trusted you, why didn’t you save me?’ And God says, ‘I sent two boats and a helicopter? What more do you want?’”

Noah just stared into his cup. He knew the joke; it came up regularly.

“Struggling is mandatory. Suffering is optional.”

Noah knew that, too.

“If God rescued you, if God gave you a gift, do right by it.” George got up and refilled his cup. “I talk to you only because you want me to, Noah. Otherwise I wouldn’t have said a word and I’m definitely not asking questions. I hope you don’t mind that I’m an early riser, because I don’t want to stay away. I’m leaving on Wednesday morning as planned, but I want to come back very soon. I want to see how this turns out. Stay out all night as often as you want—I don’t care.”

“You’re disturbed,” Noah said.

George laughed at him. “I remember being your age. I believe my wife was leaving me about that time and everything in my life was chaotic. So melodramatic. You’re going to like being seventy. Things change, especially where you choose to expend your energy. I probably have as many problems as I ever did, but I wake up every morning thinking all is right with my world. I couldn’t seem to do that at thirty-five.” George sat down and opened his laptop again. “Get a shower, have another cup of coffee, get right with the world. You’re a good man, Noah. You have a good and faithful heart. God isn’t mad at you about anything.”

When Noah got out of the shower, George had scrambled some eggs for the two of them. It was barely after six when he decided to head for his office in the church, only because it would give him a little quiet time before the work crews arrived and began pounding and whirring.

He wasn’t being deliberately quiet when he entered and climbed the stairs, but he’d left Lucy with George, and his entry must not have made a sound. He looked into the sanctuary and saw a most beautiful thing. Ellie knelt before the stained-glass window and, hands folded and looking down, she appeared to be praying. It made him smile to himself—he had so many assumptions about her, so much he took for granted. He leaned in the archway to the sanctuary and just watched. He felt as if he was eavesdropping, though she didn’t pray aloud. Her lips moved, however.