Fools Rush in(97)

“Okay, Millie,” Sam began. “I just want to say this and get through it, and then you can have a turn, all right?”

“Okay,” I said, my voice catching. Digger, sensing my sorrow, came over and put his head in my lap. I stroked his ears for a second, then said, “Go lie down, boy.” He obeyed, disappearing into the gloom of the living room.

“You know I think you’re great, right, Millie?” His voice was so gentle and soft that it caused a physical ache in my throat and chest. Tears, my constant companion, stung my eyes. I nodded, unable to look at him. A gust of wind rattled the windows and slapped sheets of rain against the shingles.

“Over the past year, you’ve been a really good friend to me, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. You’re important to me, Mil. I want you to know that.”

I swallowed loudly and looked out the window.

Sam took a deep breath and rubbed his palms on his jeans. “At the clinic the other night, I…I didn’t plan on that. I don’t want you to think I’m some lecherous creep who’s been sniffing after my wife’s sister all this time. Okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered. A tear slipped down my cheek, but hopefully it was too dark for Sam to see.

“So, Millie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I took you by surprise like that. I surprised myself, too. And I’m sorry you felt so uncomfortable that you couldn’t even call me. I mean, I understand, believe me. But the last thing I wanted to do was ruin our friendship. You’re probably the best friend I’ve got, and if you didn’t want to see me anymore, Millie, I’d miss you more than I could say.”

I nodded and pressed my fingers to my lips to hide the fact that I was crying. My hands and legs were shaking, and it felt as if a steel band were crushing my chest. So this was heartbreak. It was living up to its reputation.

Sam shifted, putting his coffee cup on the counter. As the candles flickered, I sneaked a look at him, then quickly looked back at the table. “It’s okay, Sam,” I began, my voice rough with tears.

“I’m not done.” His voice was almost sharp. “Millie, I need to tell you this because I can’t lie to you.” He gave his head a little shake, then took a deep breath. “See, Millie, while I’m sorry I surprised you, I’m not sorry I kissed you.”

It took a minute for those words to reach my heart. When they did, I turned and stared at Sam, dumbfounded. He was looking right at me, his fists shoved into his jeans pockets, clearly scared. He winced a little.

“Something changed, Millie,” he said, his voice shaking. “I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the line, I…I fell for you.”

The roaring in my ears had nothing to do with the storm outside, and my heart felt like a seagull soaring up on the ocean breeze. Sam was still talking.

“I didn’t want to admit it, because of Trish and all that. I mean, I’ve always cared about you, of course. But at the Lighthouse Dance, you looked so beautiful, and then, at the clinic I just…I just couldn’t pretend that I don’t have…that I don’t…ah, shit. Please, Millie, say something.”

I tried to answer, but no sound came out. Sam obviously misread my silence, because he looked down at the floor and his shoulders sagged a little. I wiped my eyes on a napkin, went over to him and put my hands on his shoulders.

“Sam,” I said. “I think I’ve loved you my whole life.”

His eyes widened, his lips parting slightly. For a moment, we just stared at each other, the only sounds coming from outside. “You…Say that again?” he said.

“Oh, Sam, I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m crazy about you.” A laugh hiccuped out of my mouth.

“You love me.”

“Yes.”

And then suddenly Sam was kissing me, his hands in my damp hair, his mouth hot and sweet against mine, and nothing had ever felt so right in my life. He pulled me closer, and I could feel his heart thudding. He was such a thrilling combination of familiar and new. His hair was surprisingly soft, his ribs solid under my hand.

Then Sam pulled back. “Millie Barnes,” he whispered, and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Let’s sit down, okay? I guess we should talk.” He picked up a candle, and I was gratified to see that his hands were shaking. We went into the living room and sat on the couch, the single candle casting just enough light for us to see each other. Sam reached out and touched my cheek, and the way he was looking at me, with such intent, such softness, made my heart squeeze.

“So,” I said, blushing.

He smiled. “So. When did you, uh, realize you felt like this?”

I cleared my throat. “Career Day,” I admitted.

He threw his head back and laughed. “So that’s what was going on.”

“It wasn’t funny.”

“Oh, it was.” He took my hand. “So what are we going to do, Mil? How do you want to handle this?”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know, Sam. I guess it’s a little weird, dating your ex-brother-in-law.”

“Yeah. I guess we should be discreet. Take things slow.” He paused. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Danny or Trish or anyone before we…I don’t know. Get settled.”

“Sure.” I grinned suddenly. “At least my dad will be happy.”