Fools Rush in(101)

Her casual dismissal was like acid. “You don’t know anything about me or my feelings for Sam, Trish,” I snapped. “You have never given a damn about anyone but yourself. I won’t drop Sam, as you put it, just because you want me to. I love him.”

“Millie, you have always been jealous of me,” Trish spat. “You’ve always wanted what I had.”

“You know what?” I barked, standing with my hands braced on the table. “You’re absolutely right! You, Trish, are the only one who’s never wanted what you had. And you had everything. A great guy who married you when you tricked him by getting pregnant. He loved you and did everything to make you happy. You had a perfect baby boy who’s grown into a wonderful kid. A beautiful home. But you just crapped all over that and went off with that ass**le from New Jersey.”

“Well, as I said, I was wrong,” Trish said coolly, standing also and looking at me. “You’re making a mistake, Millie. I feel sorry for you.” She walked to her car and drove away. I went into the bathroom and threw up.

THERE WAS MORE. OH, YES. The fates weren’t done with me yet.

I called Digger and got into my car. Where I was going, I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to be out of the house. I stopped by Katie’s, but she and the boys had gone to the mall, according to her mom. I was still peeved at my own mother for instantly taking Trish’s side, so I didn’t want to go there. I looked at the car clock. It was half past two. High school was just letting out.

I knew Danny’s schedule pretty well. He had basketball practice today, if I was not mistaken.

I was not. I went into the gym and watched the boys until one of the kids pointed me out to Danny. My nephew hesitated, then said something to the coach and walked over, the ball tucked under his arm.

“Hi,” I said, trying for a light tone.

For the first time in his life, Danny wasn’t happy to see me, and it was like a knife in my chest. He stared at the floor, bouncing his basketball a few times. “What do you want, Millie?” he asked flatly.

My face attempted to scrunch up in crying formation, which I tried to convert by contorting my lips to a smile. “I just wanted to see you, see how you’re doing.”

“I don’t think I want to talk to you right now.”

I took a quick, sharp breath. “Oh.”

“What did you expect?” he said, glancing back at his team.

“I don’t know, Dan.” My voice cracked and Danny grew blurry as my eyes swam. He turned to rejoin the others, and I turned blindly toward the door.

“Aunt Mil, wait. Coach, I gotta take a break.” Danny’s voice was defeated as he loped over toward me. Without a word, we went outside and walked over to the split-rail fence that circled the parking lot.

“Mil, what do you want me to say? I mean, come on. How am I supposed to feel good about this?”

“Oh, Danny, I don’t know. Everything is going way too fast.”

He sat on the fence and hung his head. “Mom wants to get back together with Dad,” he said.

“I know. She told me.”

“You gonna mess that up?”

I looked at the ground. “I think…I think your parents’ marriage should sink or swim on its own, outside of anything I do.”

“Mom says she’s learned a lot, that she and Dad could be really happy together now that she knows what she had.”

There it was again. The new and improved Trish, Trish Mature. “What do you think, Danny?”

Danny sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes in a gesture that echoed Sam. “I don’t know, Aunt Mil. But this thing with you and Dad…I don’t know. That’s…I don’t know.”

I swallowed. “I, um, I really love your dad, Danny. I know it’s uncomfortable for you to hear it, but it’s the truth.”

He responded by peeling a shard of wood off the fence and meticulously splitting it.

“Danny, do you want your parents to get back together?”

He tossed the splinter on the ground and looked at me. “Shit, Millie, of course I do. Doesn’t every kid with divorced parents wish that? That Mommy and Daddy would kiss and make up and live happily ever after? I mean, if they could pull that off…sure. Of course I want that.”

“You told me they hadn’t been happy for a long time….”

“Well, what if this is their big chance? What if you’re messing that up?”

“I don’t know.” My throat thickened at the misery on Danny’s face.

We were silent for a minute, the only noise from the crows croaking in the trees. “Aunt Millie,” Danny began slowly, concentrating on peeling another slice of wood from the fence, “what if I asked you, as a favor to me?” He looked up, sadness and confusion making him look about six years old again.

“Asked me what exactly, Danny?” I wanted to push his hair out of his eyes, but I had a feeling those days were gone.

“Asked you to step aside and leave my dad alone. For me. To give me the chance to have parents who were happy together. Would you do it?”

My heart sat like a cold stone in my chest as I regarded my nephew. “I guess I would. Yes.”

“You would?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you more than anything else in the world, Danny. And you don’t deserve to be involved in this mess. So, yes, if you asked, I’d step aside. I wouldn’t do it for your mother, but for you, the answer stands.”