Finding Perfect (Fool's Gold #3)(72)

What Pia should get is out of the store. She wasn’t ready for any of this. Not yet. She was barely pregnant and she still hadn’t accepted she was having one baby, let alone three.

She watched Charity collect several items of clothing, then waited while her friend tried them on.

“You look adorable in everything,” Pia told her.

It was the truth. Charity genuinely glowed. She was pleasantly rounded, blissfully happy and excited about being a mother. Pia felt like a crabby fraud.

“You don’t want to pick out anything?” Charity asked as she paid for her clothing.

Pia shook her head. “I’m not ready.”

“I would guess with triplets, you’re going to have to get ready soon. Is this where I ask you to come with me next door to look at furniture and you refuse?”

“I’ll look.”

Maybe poking around in a baby store would help. If nothing else, she could look for a book on multiple births. The books she had at home only had a chapter or two on multiples.

They walked through to the baby store. There were cribs and changing tables, mobiles and teddy bear lamps.

“Come see,” Charity told her, pointing to the left. “There’s a bedroom set I really love. But it’s pretty girly and if we have a boy, I’m not sure it’s appropriate.”

Pia followed her friend to a display done in pale wood. The small nightstand, crib, dresser and changing table were all carved with fairies and angels, the edges scalloped. Pink-and-gold drawer pulls sparkled with a touch of glitter.

“Too girly doesn’t describe it,” Pia said with a grin. “I think it’s great, but you need to make sure you’re having a girl before you get this.”

“It’s too over the top for a boy?”

“It will give Josh a heart attack, and that’s the last thing you want.”

“I know.” Charity sighed. “I had planned not to know the sex of the baby until the birth. I thought that would be fun. I’ve always been such a planner. This seemed like the ultimate in letting go.”

“Then you’re going to have to let go on the furniture selection,” Pia told her. “This is a whole new dimension of girly.”

“You’re right,” Charity said, sounding reluctant. “What are you going to do?”

Pia turned to her. “About what?”

“Knowing the gender of the babies.”

“I haven’t really thought about it.”

“From what I know about IVF, you’re going to have fraternal rather than identical triplets,” Charity said. “Three embryos mean they fertilized three different eggs. That could make things interesting. Does Raoul want to know?”

They hadn’t talked about it, Pia realized. In fact they hadn’t talked much about the babies at all. She didn’t know anything about his thoughts on children, except he wanted them. What were his hopes and dreams for these babies? Did he spank or prefer time-outs? Would he want to know if they were having boys or girls?

She put her hand on the dresser to steady herself. There was more. They hadn’t talked about financials or their goals for their lives. She didn’t know what religion he was, if he opened his presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. They hadn’t even discussed which way to load a dishwasher.

How could she have agreed to marry someone she didn’t know at all? Shouldn’t they have a plan to get to know each other? Of course, she was the same person who had blithely had her friend’s babies implanted into her body without considering the future.

She was going to be the mother of three children. She was going to have to raise them for the next eighteen years. Longer if housing prices kept going up. She could barely take care of herself. There was the whole humiliating relationship failure with Jake, the cat.

“I can’t do this,” she said.

“What’s wrong?” Crystal asked, sounding concerned.

Pia had to get out of there. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

She glanced at her watch. “I have to go. I have…” Her mind went blank, then rebooted and provided her with the perfect excuse. “I have a city council meeting tomorrow. I need to get back to work and prepare.”

“Me, too,” Crystal told her. “We’re talking about the budget, which is a serious drag. Neither of us can have caffeine. How are we supposed to stay awake?”

Pia was amazed. She must still look and sound normal, when on the inside, she was seconds from a meltdown.

Somehow she made it back to her office. But instead of preparing for the meeting, she stood in her tiny bathroom, her arms braced against the sink.

The obvious question was what had she been thinking. But she knew the answer to that. She hadn’t been. She’d been reacting to the loss of a dear friend. And now that she was pregnant, was she doing her very best to be informed? Had she made even one change in her life to support the babies?

Okay, sure she’d given up alcohol and caffeine and she was taking the vitamins and eating lots of fruits and vegetables. But was that enough? She hadn’t known how many diapers a baby needed a day. She didn’t want to look at furniture or maternity clothes. If Crystal really knew what she was like, she would be horrified to know her future children would be in Pia’s custody. Because for the first time ever, the babies were finally real to her and she was terrified.