Finding Perfect (Fool's Gold #3)(35)

“You don’t have to do it. You don’t have to have Crystal’s babies.”

She clutched her wine in both hands. “Yeah, I do. It’s what she wanted and she’s my friend. I would have done anything to save her. Bone marrow, a kidney, whatever. None of that would have helped, so I’m going to have her children and raise them as my own.”

Emotions moved through his eyes, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “You’re a helluva woman, Pia O’Brian.”

“Not really, but thanks for thinking I am.”

She led the way into the living room. She curled up in one corner of the sofa, and Raoul sat at the opposite end. He faced her.

“Nervous?” he asked.

She was, but not for the reasons he thought. “Yes, but I’m dealing.”

He looked around at her bright apartment. “How many bedrooms do you have here?”

She blinked at him. “One.” Reality hit her. “I’m going to have to move, aren’t I? I’ll need more bedrooms.” She thought of the two flights of stairs she went up and down several times a day. There was no way she could deal with them and a stroller…or three.

He reached his arm across the back of the red sofa and patted her shoulder, then left his fingers lightly resting against her. “You don’t have to move today. Don’t worry about it. When the time comes, I’ll help.”

“I’ve lived here six years,” she murmured, aware of the heat of his touch. “I don’t want to move.”

What other changes would there be? How many things hadn’t she thought of?

“Can we please change the subject?” she asked. “I’m starting to freak.”

“Don’t freak. You’re not even pregnant yet.”

“Yet” being the key word.

She forced herself to breathe slowly, then she took a sip of her wine. “I can do this,” she said, more to herself than him. “I’m strong. The town will help.”

“Don’t forget me,” he added. “Your pregnancy buddy.”

She still thought there was something odd about that, but why spoil his fun?

“Have you been a pregnancy buddy before?”

His expression tightened, then he relaxed. “No, but my girlfriend in high school thought she was pregnant.”

“What did you do?”

“Offered to marry her.”

“Of course you did.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s the nice-guy thing.” She sighed. “I’m sure everyone adored you in high school.”

“I wouldn’t say adored.”

“Sure they did.” She sipped her wine. “I was a cheerleader.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Still have the uniform?”

She laughed. “Yes, but that’s not the point. A lot of people don’t like cheerleaders. It’s the whole popular-girl thing.”

“Were you popular?”

“Sort of.” At least until her life had crashed in around her. “I wasn’t exactly humble and caring,” she admitted. “The phrase ‘mean girl’ has been tossed around.”

“You’re not mean.”

“I was. I made fun of people, flaunted what I had. I know now it was an uncomfortable combination of immaturity and insecurity, but it’s not as if that information will make any of my victims feel better.”

“You had victims?”

“I had people I picked on.” They were having the last laugh now, she thought sadly. Most of them had wonderful lives, while she lived in a one-bedroom apartment and couldn’t even get a cat to like her.

“You’re pretty hard on yourself,” he said.

“Maybe I deserve it.”

“Maybe everyone gets to screw up every now and then.”

“I’d like it to be that simple.”

“Why does it have to be complicated?” he asked.

An interesting question, she thought, allowing herself to get lost in his eyes.

Raoul was one of the good guys. Around him a girl could let herself feel safe. Not to mention a lot of other things that were a lot more yummy than safe.

A flash of courage swept through her. She set down her wine, braced herself for flat-out rejection and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

CHAPTER EIGHT

RAOUL FELT LIKE A CARTOON character. He wanted to shake his head to make sure he was hearing right. Assuming he was, he was pretty sure his eyes were about to bug out.

“Excuse me?” he asked, standing and staring down at her.

Pia sighed. “Do you want to have sex? With me. The doctor mentioned it. Not that it was important for the implantation procedure, because it isn’t. Her point was I’m about to be pregnant and then I’ll have babies and little kids and it’s probably going to be a long time before a guy finds me the least bit desirable, assuming that even ever happens again. So having sex now, sort of a last fling, makes sense.”

She’d said most of that without drawing in a breath. She did so now, then stared at him, her hazel eyes wide and wary. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I have no idea what you think of me. I’m not hideous or anything, but it’s not like I have a plaque proving I’m really great in bed. I thought maybe it would fall under the pregnancy-buddy umbrella, but maybe not.”