Finding Perfect (Fool's Gold #3)(39)

He wanted them to stand up and yell at him. On what planet would a former football player be so damned famous that he couldn’t take a kid bowling? Guys way better known than him had private lives.

The truth was less pretty. He didn’t want to get personally involved. He didn’t want to care. The price was too high. Better to keep things superficial. That way no one got burned, including him.

A philosophy Pia wouldn’t agree with, he thought as he finished the speech. She was the kind who would leap in first and ask questions later. That’s what she was doing with the embryos. Talk about a woman with conviction and courage.

And a way about her, he thought as he finished up and smiled as they applauded. Three nights ago, he’d stayed with her. Ever since his bed had been a little colder, a little more empty.

But he knew the value of going it alone and the danger of making something more than it was. He knew how a heart could be ripped apart and left for dead. No way he was going through that again.

PIA WAITED NERVOUSLY on the padded table.

“It’s okay,” the tech told her. “Ultrasounds don’t hurt.”

Pia eyed the wand. “There has to be a downside.”

“Sorry, no. We even heat the goopy gel we use on your tummy. This is one of the easiest medical tests.”

“It beats a barium enema.”

The other woman, Jenny her name tag said, laughed. “Have you ever had a barium enema?”

“I’ve heard rumors. They can’t be fun.”

“No, they can’t, but this is easy.”

Jenny pulled up Pia’s paper gown and squirted warm gel onto her lower stomach. Then she lowered the wand and rubbed it along Pia’s skin.

There was no pain at all. Just a sensation of something warm and flat moving across her. Okay, she thought. Note to self—ultrasounds aren’t bad.

A few minutes later Jenny covered her then excused herself. Pia lay there in the dimly lit room, doing her best to breathe. Soon she would find out if she was ready for implantation. If she was, then it was crunch time. Was she really going to go through with this? Have Crystal’s babies? Once they were thawed, there was no backing out.

Before she could scramble from the table and run screaming through the building, Dr. Galloway appeared.

“I heard you’re ready,” the doctor said with a smile. “Let’s see.”

She squeezed on fresh gel and studied the monitor.

“Very nice,” she murmured. “Yes, Pia. I would say we could implant tomorrow, if you want.” The doctor touched her arm. “We can also wait a month, if you need more time.”

Ready, as in ready? As in now?

Pia opened her mouth, then closed it. Her chest got tight, as if something heavy pressed down. She felt nauseous and light-headed. Ready.

“The e-eggs can be ready by tomorrow?” she asked, her voice faint.

“Yes. We’d schedule you back for right after lunch.” Her doctor put down the wand and wiped Pia’s belly. “You don’t have to decide today. You’ll be just as ready next month.”

True, but a month was a long time to wait. Pia was afraid she would freak out even more, or at the very least, try to talk herself out of moving forward.

She sucked in a breath and braced herself. “What time tomorrow?”

APPARENTLY DR. GALLOWAY’S definition of painless and Pia’s weren’t exactly the same. Having a catheter inserted was a borderline creepy experience, but Pia did her best to relax and keep breathing.

“All done,” her doctor told her seconds later. She stood and drew the gown down over Pia’s legs, then put a blanket on her. “Lie here for about twenty minutes to let things settle. Then you’re free to go.”

“And I don’t have to act any different?” Pia asked. “Avoid strenuous activities, that sort of thing?”

“I’d stay quiet for the next few hours. You have the vitamins I gave you?”

Dr. Galloway had given her samples the previous day, along with a prescription she’d already filled. She’d taken the first prenatal vitamin that morning, downing the pill with a disgustingly healthy breakfast.

“Yes.”

“Then that’s all you need for now.”

The doctor dimmed the lights and left the room. Pia tried to get comfortable on the padded table. She closed her eyes and placed her hands on her lower stomach.

“Hi,” she whispered. “I’m Pia. I knew your mom. She was amazing and wonderful and you would have really loved her.”

Thinking about her friend made her eyes burn. She blinked away tears and drew another deep breath.

“She, ah, died a few months ago. Over the summer. It was sad and we all miss her. Your dad is gone, too, which might make you think you’re getting off to a rough start. But you’re not. You see, both your parents wanted to have children. Your mom especially. She wanted to have all three of you. But she couldn’t, what with being dead and all.”

She groaned. Talk about screwing up the conversation. “Sorry,” she murmured. “I should have planned this better. What I’m saying is she really wanted this. She wanted you to be born. I know I’m not her, but I’m going to do my best, I swear. I’m going to read books and talk to women who are good moms. I’ll be there for you.”

She thought about her own mother abandoning her to move to Florida. “I’ll never leave you,” she vowed. “No matter what, I’ll be there for you. I won’t run off and forget about you.” She pressed lightly on her stomach. “Can you feel that? It’s me. I’m right here.”