Fighting for Love (Second Chances #4)(11)
We had just gone out to dinner, and for the third night in a row she’d barely eaten anything on her plate. As soon as I pulled into her driveway to drop her off I couldn’t take it anymore.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I blurted out angrily. “Have I pissed you off or something?”
Slowly? Shelby turned her tear streaked face toward me. I didn’t want to think that she had cheated on me, not my angel, but the thought had crossed my mind several times. “Are you cheating on me with someone else?” I asked through clenched teeth.
Quickly, and with her eyes wide, she shook her head and cried, “No, Matt, I would never do that to you. I just …”
The blow was coming, and it was what I had feared ever since she and I started our relationship. I was the poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks and she was the one with the money and the privileges. I thought we were stronger than that and she knew damn well that I was going to make something of myself one day.
“Finish your sentence, Shelby,” I growled. “You just what? What are you not saying?”
Sagging against the seat, she closed her eyes and blew out a shaky breath. “I’m saying this isn’t going to work when I go off to college. We’ve been together so long and neither one of us has had the chance to experience other things.”
I scoffed, clenching the steering wheel so hard my hands started to shake. “You mean experience other people? So, what you’re saying is that everything you told me a couple of weeks ago about us always being together was bullshit? Dammit, Shelby, I told you I wanted to marry you someday, and when I did I had never seen you so full of life … so happy. You said you wanted that. Why would you lie to me?”
“Matt, please,” she begged. “Just let me go.”
“Answer me!” I shouted. “Was it all bullshit?”
Lowering her head, she closed her eyes and my heart ripped in f*cking two when she finally had the audacity to answer, her voice cold and disconnected, “None of it was real. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. We live different lives and I don’t see it working out for us in the future.”
“What the f*ck, Shelby,” I spat. “We’ve been together for five years and you’re just now realizing that? Why can’t you look me in the eyes and say this?” I demanded. “Tell me you don’t love me anymore and I’m gone.”
She hesitated, but it was only a second before she whispered the words I dreaded to hear, “I don’t love you anymore, Matt. It’s over.”
That was all it took for me to snap. “Then get out,” I growled, reaching over her to open her door. “I have nothing more to say to you.”
Bursting into tears, she slowly got out of my car and shut the door. Against my better judgment, I looked over at her once before backing out of the driveway. Collapsed on the ground, she had her face in her hands. Even with the loud rumble of my engine, I could hear her gut-wrenching scream. Something inside me told me to stay, but my pride wouldn’t let me. My pride won the fight.
Shelby was never very good at keeping her feelings in check, and I could usually tell when she was lying or keeping something from me. Her turning her back on me like that was too sudden, completely wrong, and being the f*cking idiot that I was all I did was get pissed instead of fighting for her the way I should have. I let my pride get in the way.
My phone rang about ten minutes after I left the café and in my haste I realized I never told Garrett I was leaving to go after Shelby. “What the hell is going on?” he barked. “I just got a call from Shelby saying she’s not doing the article now. Why would she pull out? Please tell me she’s not one of the people you f*cked and screwed over.”
Huffing, I snapped into the phone, “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m on my way to see her now. I’ll get it all sorted out.”
“You better,” he exclaimed. “This spread will do wonders for your career. Whatever’s going on you better fix it … fast!”
Rolling my eyes, I threw my phone into the passenger seat and pressed the gas as hard as I could, burning up my new tires in the process. I didn’t care. All that mattered at the moment was seeing Shelby and getting the past put to rest.
I was almost there.
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ANGERED me more … the fact that I couldn’t contain my weakness around Matt, or the fact that I was disappointed he didn’t come after me. I knew better than to think we could pick up where we left off, but dammit to hell if I didn’t secretly wish it. However, forgetting about the past ten years wouldn’t be easy, especially keeping the one reason why I left a secret.
Not having a clue what I was going to say to my boss when I got back to the office, I decided it was best to lay low and figure out what the hell I was going to do about the article. Being around Matt for the next month would be torture and I honestly didn’t think I could handle it. His life was so different now, and seeing him with all the women over the years almost broke me. My heart couldn’t take any more of that pain, especially when I was just really getting into the process of moving on.
Feeling completely numb, by the time I got up to my office the view of the Golden Gate Bridge, which always relaxed me, didn’t even faze me as I gazed out my window. Why can’t I move on from this? It would be so much easier if I could just forget everything from my past. Caleb said he could make me forget, but now it was too late. If I could find the courage to tell Matt the truth and find redemption then it wouldn’t be so bad, but that wasn’t going to happen.