Fever (Breathless #2)(60)

She slowly nodded, her bottom lip pulled firmly between her teeth. Her grip was so tight on it that she’d break skin and bleed. He gently nudged her mouth open, freeing her lip.

“What do you want, Jace?” she asked again. “I need to know what you expect from me. I can’t live with the uncertainty of not knowing if I’m doing it right or wrong or if I’m screwing up.”

He sighed and ran his hands up her body and then back down again. She was cold. Chill bumps dotted her torso and her skin was cool to his touch. All thoughts of sex fled. His arousal had waned. Not because he didn’t want her. Not because he wasn’t desperate to possess her. But because some things were more important than sex and satisfaction. “Get dressed, baby,” he said in a gentle voice.

Her gaze was immediately fearful.

He kissed her forehead. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re cold and we need to talk.” He hesitated another moment. “Would you come back to my apartment with me? I’ll fix you some hot chocolate and we’ll sit by the fire and we can talk. I’d like you to spend the night with me there.”

To his surprise, she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her naked body to his. She hugged him tightly.

“I’d like that,” she whispered.

Chapter twenty-two

Bethany snuggled into Jace’s couch and stared at the flames flickering in the fireplace. She’d taken her shoes off and curled her feet underneath her as she waited for Jace to return with the hot chocolate he’d promised.

A moment later, he approached the couch and handed her a steaming mug. He too was barefoot and she found the image of him in jeans, casual T-shirt and bare feet extremely sexy. But the man was just gorgeous. Head to toe.

His hair was delectably mussed, flipping up at his collar, and a dark lock fell over his forehead until her fingers itched to straighten it.

He settled onto the couch beside her and scooted in close so their bodies were touching. Then he simply wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she sipped the cocoa. In between the times she brought the cup to her lips, he pressed his mouth to her temple, kissing her skin and then sliding over her hair to retreat when she took the next sip.

It was a moment she’d long remember. The simplicity of them sitting in front of the fire, barefoot, comfortable. Relaxed. Just being. No place they had to be. No stress. Well, if she didn’t count the impending conversation. But she’d gotten enough from Jace at her apartment to know that it would be all right. She was at peace, even though she still had hard questions to ask. Somehow she knew it would be okay, though. For the first time she could ever remember, she looked forward with anticipation and not dread. There was no resignation of her circumstances. Things were good.

They had things to discuss. She very much wanted to know what his expectations were. But he’d been completely sincere about wanting her. She believed him. Maybe that made her a fool, but she didn’t doubt that he was committed to whatever this was between them.

And so was she.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment when he propped his chin on top of her head. She savored the last sips of the chocolate and when she would have leaned forward to go put the cup away, Jace wrested it from her grasp and set it on the coffee table.

For a moment they settled back into position, her in his arms, and quiet descended as she stared into the fireplace’s glow. Then she shifted so she could look at him, saw the look on his face and knew he realized it was time as well.

“Can I ask you some questions?” she said before her courage deserted her.

He reached for her hand, squeezing reassuringly, and then he nodded. “You can ask me anything, Bethany.”

“What was it like with the other women you had this kind of arrangement with?”

He blew out his breath in a long exhale, and his words were carefully said. “Bethany, you aren’t like the other women.”

She added her sigh to his. “Okay. I get that. I don’t think you think I’m like your other women. This isn’t about me comparing or me being jealous or anything. But I need to know what you expect. I get that you want me to be submissive and you like control. But that doesn’t tell me anything specific. I need to know how it’s going to be with . . . us, and me asking how it was with your other women is just me trying to figure out your expectations. I’m working blind here and that’s what makes me nervous. Not you. I don’t think you’ll hurt me or freak me out. I just need to know what I’m supposed to do.”

He looked discomfited. He sighed again and then ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. It fell back over his forehead and this time she did reach up to smooth it. His gaze softened when she touched him, almost as if she’d given him much-needed reassurance.

“The first thing you have to understand is that Ash and I . . .” He broke off. “Jesus, there’s no way to say this without it sounding all sorts of f**ked up.”

“Just say it,” she urged. “I’m not going to be angry. How could I be? You don’t hold my past against me. How could I hold yours against you?”

“You’re so damn sweet,” Jace murmured. “I don’t how I got so lucky. When I think what would have happened if I hadn’t seen you that night. If I hadn’t found you at the shelter . . . It guts me, Bethany.”

Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as his words washed over her, warm and so very sweet. She had to be dreaming. Never had she imagined meeting a man like Jace. He was so honest. So straightforward. He wasn’t afraid to share his feelings. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable.