Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game(37)

“But mainly you’re afraid of losing your mom’s love, right?”

Grimacing, I replied, “Yeah, but that’s going to happen regardless of whether she gets married or not.”

“How could you say that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Maddie’s dark eyes widened with excitement. “Oh Noah, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for her!” she squealed.

I shot her a look. “Thanks a lot.”

Maddie frowned. “I don’t understand.”

With a sigh, I replied, “Neither do I.”

“Let me guess. You’re afraid with your mom getting married and having a baby she’s going to completely replace you in an instant and totally forget that for seventeen years of her life she had a wonderful son to love and be proud of?”

After Maddie said it aloud, I felt like a complete dickwad. It sounded so childish and stupid, but at the same time, it also sounded completely feasible. “Maybe.”

She smiled and linked her arm through mine. “Your mom could never replace you. Think about it, you’re her first born. A new husband and new baby aren’t going to change that.”

I stared into her big brown eyes, and I realized I wanted to be as honest with her as I could. “Then everything is worse because Jake’s gone when I need him most.” I kicked at a nail on one of the wood floorboards. “I guess deep down, all I keep thinking of is that everyone leaves me—my real dad, my grandfather, Jake…how can I be sure my mother won’t too?”

Maddie’s hand came to cup my cheek. “Aw, Noah, how could you ever think that? She’s never going to leave you.” She shook her head. “Besides your jerk of a dad, no one has left you because they wanted too—not your grandfather or Jake. The people who love you and care about you aren’t going anywhere.” She smiled. “Myself included.”

“Really?”

Nudging me playfully, she said, “Now I want you to think about something for a minute. Next fall, you’re going off to Tech, right?” When I nodded, she continued on. “You’ll meet all these new people, go to lots of parties that you probably shouldn’t—”

I chuckled. “Hey now.”

She grinned. “You have a whole new life ahead of you. But what would your mom have done without you in the house?”

In all honesty, I hadn’t. Wow, Noah, what a way to be a selfish prick.

When I didn’t answer, Maddie patted my arm. “It’s okay if you didn’t. Just think about it now. I mean, she was going to be all alone, and now she’ll have somebody. Two somebody’s actually.”

“It’s a girl,” I suddenly blurted for no apparent reason.

“Really?” Maddie squealed.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”

“Oh, if she looks anything like your mom, she’ll be so beautiful,” Maddie said.

“There’s something else.”

“Besides your mom getting remarried and having a baby?” she asked, smiling slightly.

“She slapped me.”

Maddie’s eyes widened. “She did?”

I nodded.

“But why?”

Instead of answering her, I hopped out of my seat and walked down the length of the porch, gazing out at the flower beds.

“Noah?” Maddie prompted.

“Well, um, it’s the way I acted when she told me. I-I said some pretty hurtful things.”

She rose out of her chair and came over to me. “What did you say?”

I turned back towards her and inwardly groaned. There was no way in hell I wanted to tell Maddie the awful thing I’d said. But when she tenderly took my hand in hers, I crumbled. “I was the biggest ass**le in the world. I told her I was glad she’d finally found some guy who’d finally marry her. You know, after he knocked her up.”

Maddie gasped and dropped my hand. “Noah, how could you?”

I threw my hands up. “I don’t know why. I mean, why do we ever say or do the things we do?”

“You have to apologize right now!”

I stared at her. Jesus, was she pushy! She never stopped trying to make me be a better person. It made my blood boil as I crossed my arms over my chest in a huff. “Tell me something I don’t know, Einstein.”

Suddenly, she narrowed her eyes at me, and I wasn’t expecting the response I got. “Don’t get smart with me! I’m just trying to help.” She whirled around and started back inside the house.

Shit.

“Maddie, wait!” I called. When she kept walking, I dug deep and said the word most guys loathe. “Please!” She stopped and turned around. I’d already hurt the woman I cared about most in the world today, so I didn’t want to screw up with anyone else, especially not Maddie. Deep down, I didn’t know why I cared so much about what she thought of me. Normally, I wouldn’t have given a shit. But after Jake, she meant something to me—more than I was willing to admit sometimes.

I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. As she stared expectantly at me for the other two words guys hated to say, I stuffed my hands into my pants pockets. “Um…I’m sorry.”

The corners of her lips turned up like she was fighting a smile. “Thank you.” After I had groveled to her satisfaction, she came back over to me. “You know, you probably need to take her some flowers when you apologize.”