Defending Hayden (Second Chances #7)(36)

I jerked around and met her gaze. “What do you know about that?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Michael told me you lost your girlfriend in a car accident. Do you feel guilty for being with me?”

“I don’t know what I feel. All I know is that I’m not good enough for you. I realized that after last night. You deserve so much better than me.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” she growled, keeping her head high.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t risk getting attached to you and then losing you. It’s best we cut ties before it goes too far.”

She sucked in a breath and her face turned red with rage. “You should’ve thought about that sooner.” Turning on her heel, she stalked out of my room, and it took all I had not to chase after her. Once the door slammed shut, I thought it’d make things easier. Unfortunately, it only made them worse. I missed her already, and there was no way in hell she’d ever forgive me.





Chapter 15





Hayden


The world closed in around me and I could barely breathe. I’d never thought my heart could be broken twice, but it was split wide open. How could Derek do that to me after last night? It had come out of nowhere. I felt the connection, and I knew he did, too. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I could hardly see the road. All I wanted was to crawl into a hole and disappear. The embarrassment and the heartache would haunt me. How was I going to face everyone and tell them what a fool I’d been? Jeremiah had warned me to stay away. Maybe I should’ve listened to him.

I could smell Derek all around me and feel him on my skin; it only made things worse. Once I pulled into my driveway, I raced inside and took a long, hot shower, scrubbing my body until every inch was sore and red. My eyes burned, but I couldn’t seem to get the tears to stop. Turning on my laptop, I did the one thing that I’d been avoiding ever since I met Derek McLaughlin: I searched him on the Internet and added the words “car accident.”

Articles popped up everywhere, and I felt sick to my stomach as I read them. Derek had almost died in the accident; Evan was the one who had saved him. Brianna, his girlfriend, had been a Carolina Cougars cheerleader, beautiful with a lovely smile. What made me even sicker was reading that she was pregnant. I couldn’t imagine how Derek must have felt to know that he’d lost his girlfriend and his child. Another picture popped up of the crash scene and I clapped a hand over my mouth. “Oh my God,” I cried.

The place where the accident had occurred was the same place I’d found Bear. That was why Derek had looked pale when he came over to help. I didn’t understand then, but I did now. We were standing in the same place where the accident happened. It all started to make sense why he would push me away. But how could I get him to see that he wouldn’t lose me? Or maybe that was just an excuse instead of telling me the truth—that all he’d wanted was to f*ck me.

I was about to turn off the computer, but curiosity wouldn’t let me. Derek once said not to look him up, but I had to see what he meant. I had to know what he was hiding. Blowing out a shaky breath, I went straight to images, growing sicker with each one. There were several of Derek and Brianna, looking happy as they posed for the camera, but there were hundreds of others with a different woman in each. He looked wasted in most, definitely not the same person he’d led me to believe he was. What really disgusted me was the number of women he’d been involved with. I should’ve known a guy like him couldn’t stay with just one woman. The pictures dated from years ago to even a couple months prior. His endless parade of women had been going on ever since he’d moved here to join the Cougars. I was just a piece of ass to him.

Slamming my laptop shut, I swallowed the bile and grabbed my phone. Michael’s voice was all I wanted to hear.

“Hey, baby girl, what’s up?” he answered. My throat closed up and I squeezed my eyes shut. “You there, Hayden?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, choking on the words.

“Shit, what’s wrong? You sound horrible.”

I angrily wiped the tears from my eyes. “Can you come over? I really need you right now.”

“I’ll be right there.” He hung up and I lay on the couch, hoping like hell the pain in my chest would go away. How could I have been so stupid?

ONE WEEK LATER

I hadn’t heard from or seen Derek in a week. What really made things awkward was going back to work and pretending everything was okay. I didn’t want everyone knowing what happened, so I played Derek’s absence off as him being too busy with practice. I thought with time, the pain in my chest would lessen, but it had only gotten worse.

“Hayden?”

I turned around and saw Jeremiah approaching me with a concerned smile. “Are you okay? You don’t seem like your normal self.”

Plastering a fake smile on my face, I waved him off. “Of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I can see it on your face. Did something happen between you and McLaughlin?”

My back stiffened. “Nope, not at all. He’s busy with practice, and I’m busy here.”

“So there’s nothing going on between you two?”

I shook my head. “Not a thing.”