Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(98)

Arys snapped. Breaking away from me, he lunged at the smirking demon. I grabbed for him and missed. He landed a well-placed punch that brought a gush of blood forth from Shya’s nose. Falon intervened before he could throw another.

Falon shoved Arys in my direction. I caught hold of his arm before he could go after Shya again. “We are leaving right now,” I insisted, dragging him to the front door.

Shya wiped at his nose, his eyes never leaving me as I put distance between us. “Don’t worry, Alexa. Once you become a vampire, your blood will no longer break Lilah’s curse. We all win.”

Delusional. I was staring into the eyes of a madman. I couldn’t possibly vacate Shya’s house fast enough. Nobody would win as long as Shya was manipulating us for his own gain. Maybe I couldn’t stop him, but I didn’t have to play the part he’d written for me.

I was near hysterics by the time we were in the car speeding away from the house of hell. The calm strength I’d exuded fled, leaving me vulnerable to the fear that waited. I shook in the passenger seat while Arys drove with the aggression of a man on the warpath.

“I’ll kill him,” he swore, slamming a hand against the steering wheel. “Somehow I will find a way to send that sorry bastard back to hell where he belongs. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“Arys, this isn’t your fault. I know you’re blaming yourself. I made the choice to be bonded to you by blood. I knew what that meant.”

“No, you didn’t.” The light from the dashboard cast a green glow on Arys’s grim expression. “You didn’t know everything about us then. What we are. How the blood bond would affect that. I never told you. It was selfish and arrogant of me. Now you’re paying the price.”

I stared at him, ignoring how fast the night flew by out the window. “If you hadn’t bonded me, Harley would have. He almost did.”

“I wish I’d let him.” Arys’s confession was like a small bomb being dropped in my lap.

“How can you say that?” My voice trembled. “I am part of you. It’s better this way. We didn’t know the risks, but we will find a way to manage them.”

He was silent. Staring stonily straight ahead, Arys’s lack of reaction spoke for him. My jaw dropped as it began to sink in.

“You knew,” I whispered. “You knew it would tip the balance between us.”

I waited for him to deny it, praying he would. When his response didn’t come fast enough I had to fight back the urge to shake him.

“Yes. I knew,” he said at last.

I was at a loss for words. Arys had knowingly put me at risk just so no other vampire could claim me. “Why?”

“It was selfish. I’d waited so long to find you. You were already mine in every other way. I never planned to do it. I didn’t want this for you. Shaz suggested it, and I saw an opportunity to bind you to me beyond this mortal life you live. And, I took it.” His voice became gruff, thick with remorse. “I’m sorry, Alexa.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. With my head in my hands, I fought back the bitter sting of tears. How many more secrets were being withheld from me? I was starting to feel that everyone I knew had a secret that would shatter my world.

Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out as an exasperated sigh. “If Harley or someone else had blood bonded me, it would still have tainted me with darkness that doesn’t belong. I will not hold this against you. I can’t. I have too many broken relationships with people I love.”

“If Harley had done it, I would be free of blame. And, I could have killed him to set you free.”

I felt betrayed. It was so hard not to. Though I loved Arys in ways I could not describe, I was painfully aware that he too had endangered me simply because he had wanted something. I said I wouldn’t hold it against him, and I meant that, so why did part of me feel that was a lie?

As the rush of the evening faded, my head started to ache. I’d channeled an amazing amount of power without my brain exploding, a small miracle. A migraine was a small price to pay compared to the alternative of lying in a smoldering heap of fur at Lilah’s feet.

Arys glanced over, his gaze heavy with the weight of his concern. “I hate watching you do that to yourself. The headaches and the nosebleeds… it’s harming you. The power is too much.”

I turned away. Staring out the window was the best way to avoid those midnight eyes. “Let’s not have this conversation again.”

The Charger’s interior grew tense. I fidgeted with the hem of the silk robe. I’d had more than enough thrown at me for one night. Arys and I might be faced with eternal conflict, but a reprieve was necessary at times.

The atmosphere grew increasingly strained as we left the rural roads behind and entered the city. He wasn’t going to let it go – I could feel it – so I wasn’t surprised by his outburst.

“It’s killing you, Alexa. Slowly but surely, it is devouring you. The power, the bloodlust, all of it.” His voice rose to an ear battering level. It took a lot for Arys to really lose it. The trace of fear in his heavy, irate energy made it impossible to respond with anger.

“I know, Arys. It’s not the vampire blood bond. It’s us. Willow said twin flames always destroy each other. The strength of our bond is too much for either of us. Whatever we exist for, it’s not meant to be easy.”