Ceaseless (Existence Trilogy #3)(35)

Dropping my books on my desk, I pulled out my pencils and a notebook. I’d given his laptop to Gee and told her to make sure he got it back. I no longer needed it. That was of course untrue but I had been pissed.

Then a tingling sensation ran down my spine and I knew without looking that the shadow that had fallen over my desk belonged to Dank. Dangit.

“Can I sit here?” His voice was husky and free of humor.

We were surrounded by people and the professor was walking to the front of the room. It wasn’t like I could tell him no without making a scene. Not to mention the fact I would be alerting him that his sex-capade bothered me.

“Sure,” I replied, forcing a smile and focusing on the numbers the professor was writing on the board.

Did he have to sit so close? I could do without having to smell him. I was already aware he smelled delicious. I didn’t need to be reminded.

“Are you going to look at me?” He asked

No, dammit. I didn’t want to look at him. I forced my head to turn and meet his gaze. He looked sad. I hadn’t expected that. Why was he sad? I couldn’t ask him that though. I wasn’t going to let this thing go any further. I’d drawn my line. He would have to stay on his side. Which was as my classmate and friend of my suitemate. Nothing more.

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was soft. He didn’t want anyone else to hear him.

“Nothing to talk about. I need to listen to this if I’m gonna pass this class,” I replied with the same fake smile.

“Pagan,” he began and I held up a hand to stop him

“If you want me to continue sitting here then you’ll stop now.”

He nodded, “I’m sorry.”

I hated the way he flinched when I spoke to him harshly. I just wanted him to go away. I didn’t want to feel anything where he was concerned.

Class crept by at a snail’s pace. When it was finally over I didn’t look at Dank. I’d successfully ignored him the entire class. Which had been easy considering he didn’t say a word. I shoved my notebook into my bag and stood up. Dank was still sitting in his chair staring straight ahead with a deep frown on his ridiculously good looking face.

I should not care that he was upset. I should not care. I should not care; I kept chanting to myself as I walked down the aisle and toward the door. I would not look back. There was no reason to. The ache in my chest as I stepped out of the building leaving Dank sitting there alone like that bugged me. I rubbed the ball of my hand over my ache and kept going. I had a study group in thirty minutes.

***

I hadn’t expected to see Jay sitting on the steps of my dorm today. I wasn’t really in the mood for it either but perhaps he was here to pick up the redhead. I still didn’t know her name. Could have been whom Dank was screwing in the dark.

I smiled at Jay when his eyes met mine. He was a nice guy. At least he kept it real. He didn’t act like he was just interested in you. He let you know he wasn’t a one-woman kind of man. I had to respect that.

“Hello, Jay,” I said as I reached the steps. I didn’t figure I had to stick around for small talk.

Jay stood up blocking my path up the stairs, “Pagan, hey.”

Okay well we’d said our polite greetings. I had assignments to work on. I started to step around him but his hand reached out and took my hand. “Wait. I wanted to talk to you.”

Well, crap. “’Bout what?” I asked looking back up at the entrance so that he got the hint I had other things to get to.

“I know I screwed up things last week. I was an idiot. But you are all I’ve thought about for two weeks. I can’t get you out of my head. Please, just go have coffee with me. At least let’s be friends. I miss you.”

Miranda was busy with Nathan all the time and now that I didn’t have Dank hanging around I was lonely. A friend would be nice. With Jay I knew where I stood. He was easy for me to read. No secrets, no sexy smoldering looks to give me the wrong idea.

“Friends would be good. I need a friend. Miranda spends more time on the UT campus with Nathan than she does here.”

The big goofy grin I used to love broke out on Jay’s face. “Can we go have coffee now? Or do you have plans with a textbook?”

The books could wait. “Let me go drop this thing off in my room and I’ll be right back. Please feel free to ask out anyone who walks by that interests you,” I teased.

Jay’s frown appeared and I realized he didn’t think it was funny. “It was a joke. If we’re gonna be friends then you have to relax,” I said before opening the door and heading up to my room.

Once I reached my door the sounds of moaning stopped me from turning the knob. I pressed my ear against the door and I heard Miranda cry out in obvious pleasure. Oh, wow. She was actually having sex with this guy. Backing away from the door I went over to Gee’s door and knocked softly.

Gee opened the door and reached up and pulled a cotton ball out of her ear. “What, you don’t want to walk in on the  p**n  show over there?” Gee asked.

“Not really, no. Could I leave my bag in here? Jay is waiting for me to go have coffee.”

Gee scowled and nodded her head. She reached out and took the bag from my hands. “Yeah, fine.” What was her problem? It was just my bag.

“How long have they been over there?” I asked looking toward my room where a grunt made me cringe. I could have done without hearing that.