Breathe (Sea Breeze #1)(61)

I shook my head, and it began to pound. “Sam.” I spit out through my panic. Jax firmly held me in the bed.

“Sam is with Ms. Mary and is just fine. He is even sleeping nights now.”

How did Sam end up at Ms. Mary’s? I stared at him, needing answers, but my dry throat had about reached its limit.

“Jessica is getting help. She is sick, Sadie. It is called postpartum depression, and she has a very bad case. She is at the best clinic money can buy, and when she comes back to you, she will be just like new. I swear it.”

I sunk back against the bed, and I realized my head hurt fiercely. I flinched.

“Hold on, I’m getting the nurse now. Do not close your eyes, please, keep them open.”

I nodded and watched him walk out to the hall where he yelled, “She’s awake.”

He immediately turned and came right back to my side. “The nurses and doctors will probably kick me out in a minute, but I am not going anywhere. I am going to stay outside at that door, and if you need me, I will be right there.”

I nodded, and my heart raced when he leaned down and his breath tickled my ear. “I’ll never be able to leave again. I’m not that strong.”

The doors opened and in came faces I had never seen before.

“How long has she been awake?” A large lady with dark brown hair, cut in a spiky style, asked as she rushed over to my side.

Jax winked at me. “Um, a few minutes.”

She shook her finger at him and said, “All right, pretty boy, that singing of yours must have done some good, but now I want you out of here. Her heart rate is all over the place. What were you doing to her, the girl has been in a coma.”

“I said not to use that word,” he interrupted her in a hard voice that surprised me.

She sighed and shook her head. “Sorry, I forgot. She has been ‘unconscious’ for a week. She doesn’t need you in here making her heart race.”

He seemed worried, and I wanted to send the lady away because she upset him.

“Will it hurt her? Is she going to stay awake?”

The lady smiled at me, and then turned back to Jax. “She’s going to be fine. Now go.”

He looked at me one more time, and then was pushed out of the room by another nurse coming in.

“Jeesh, I sure am glad you’re awake. That poor boy is about to drop from exhaustion. Although, I will admit, it was nice having our own little concert around here. We just kept your door open and listened while he sang to you. Sometimes he would spend hours just singing. I swear he sang that ‘Don’t Cry’ song a hundred times.”

I smiled at the thought of Jax singing to me.

“Yes, go ahead and grin. If I had a hot rock star singing to me and watching over me like a mother hen, I would smile, too,” she teased, and then reached for a glass of water. “Are you thirsty?”

I nodded, knowing my throat was too dry to speak. She sat my bed up and instructed me to take small sips. I did for a few minutes.

After I swallowed, I said, “My throat hurts.”

The nurse nodded. “You’ve had a tube down your throat for a while. After you woke up briefly last night, we took it out in case you woke up again and panicked during the night.”

I nodded and reached for the cup.

“Remember, slow sips,” she warned, and then continued to work over me. She examined my head and nodded. “You’re going to be just fine, Miss White. Before you know it, you will be up and going again. However, this time things should be easier for you. That smitten rock star out there seems to be taking care of everything.”

My heart swelled when I remembered Jax stood right outside my door.

“You have quite a few other guests that he didn’t allow in here for very long periods of time. I’m sure they will want to be contacted. You might have to encourage him to do that. I don’t know if he is going to want to share you right away.”

I nodded and smiled. “All right.”

She took her supplies and opened the door. Jax glanced in at me, and then back at her anxiously.

“She’s fine. She will be out of here in a few days.” Jax seemed to almost slump in relief. He walked back into the room and closed the door behind him.

“You okay?” he asked, and this time my throat worked much better.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I assured him, and he beamed at me.

He pulled his stool right up beside me again, and took my hand. “Sadie, I’m sorry. I left you here thinking I was doing what was best for you, and I knew you didn’t have a stable home life. I wanted to leave you a car and money and,” he laughed bitterly, “I wanted to leave you everything you could ever need. But I knew you wouldn’t take it and you would resent it. Leaving without knowing you were taken care of was so hard. But I convinced myself you would be better off without me. Ms. Mary promised to get you a good job with good pay and benefits. I wanted you to have a safe, comfortable senior year. I had no idea....”

I put my finger over his mouth. “Stop it. Nothing is your fault. You did what you had to do. Your world is different from mine, and I understand that.”

He kissed my finger, and I had to catch my breath. “I knew when I caved in and allowed myself to be with you, that your life was going to be turned upside down. My world was going to affect you, but I pushed those thoughts away, and I just lived in the moment. When I saw your face all over television, and I heard you being talked about like your personal life was nothing, I lost it. I wanted to hurt someone, and when I realized it was my fault, I wanted to hurt myself. So I hurt myself in the deepest way possible…by walking away from you.” He paused and held my hand against his face. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I was trying to save you from me, but it was a very bad plan, and I’m so sorry.”