Breathe (Sea Breeze #1)(55)

Relief washed over me. “Do you think he will go to school with me and do that?” I asked quietly.

Marcus chuckled. “No, you’ll be on your own there. But, remember, they will get over it. It’s just Jax recorded a new song, and it’s rumored all over the news that it is about you. It hit number one its first week on the radio. The buzz is being fed a little more.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What does the song say?” I heard myself asking. Why I wanted to know was beyond me. This was going to be painful but I still wanted to know.

Marcus dropped his hands from mine and shifted in his seat. “Enough for me to know it is about you,” he said with no emotion to his voice.

I nodded and turned my attention to watching the world outside the window. Preston returned with our Cokes and sat them at the table.

“Thanks for that,” I said, nodding toward the giggling girls who now only had eyes for Preston.

He shrugged and grinned. “Not a problem. I’m glad these good looks are good for something.” He winked and took a sip of his Coke.

I relaxed and took a drink too. I had so much to take in today. Our two had become three, and I needed to get ready for a baby in the house. And then there was the fact I was apparently well known by complete strangers. I let my mind go to Jax’s new song, and my heart raced when I thought about it. I had watched him writing out at the gazebo as I worked in the gardens the last few weeks we were together. Back then, I had never dreamed what he was working on was about me. If it was about me, what did it say? Were the words going to rip into me and bring the dark blanket back? Would Marcus have to come back into my room and force me out of my pain? I needed to know what the words said. I needed to know if he spoke of what we had, with joy or sorrow. Did he find light in our memories, or were they fading for him?

I ordered my burger, and we ate with only simple small talk. Marcus and Preston talked about Rock’s upcoming wedding, and then football. Finally, once I knew I was strong enough to hear the answer, I asked Marcus, “Will the words hurt me?” I knew he was going to know what I was talking about.

Marcus smiled sadly and shook his head. “I don’t think so, Sadie, but that depends on what hurts you. He describes you and how he feels about you. If that is going to be painful, then yes.”

I swallowed to keep my throat from closing up.

Preston cleared his throat, “What are you talking about?”

Marcus squeezed my hand. “Jax’s new number one.”

Preston’s eyes widened, and he gawked at me, and then back at Marcus, “That’s about Sadie?”

Marcus raised his eyebrows as if to dare him to say more. “Yes, it is.” He threw his words out like a challenge.

“Hell, no wonder people want her autograph,” he mumbled and took a bite of his sandwich.

I had to hear that song. “Preston, I want to go out to your Jeep and listen to the radio. Do you mind?”

He shook his head. “Nah, the keys are in it.”

Marcus stood and let me out. I started to walk toward the door, and he grabbed my hand. I turned back to him.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“I need to do this alone,” I assured him, and he let me go.

I sat and flipped through a few channels until I found one that I knew would most likely play it often, and I waited. I didn’t have to wait long. The moment the guitar began, I knew whose song it was. I had heard those exact chords being played outside while I worked in the garden. Even if this song wasn’t for me, he had written it when he had been with me. When he was mine. Because of that, it was special to me. And then his voice joined the music, and I got lost.

“Your eyes hold the key to my soul. Your hands heal all my pain, and you’re everything that makes this boy whole. When you breathe, it sends warmth through my veins. When you laugh, my body goes insane. You’re all I need to survive. Your body is what makes me feel alive.

“Don’t cry. I’m not that strong. I can’t stand here when your heart is broken. How I long to be all you need. But instead, I’m everything that’s wrong. No, no, don’t cry. I’m not that strong. I can’t stand here when your heart is broken. How I long to be all you need. But instead I’m everything that’s wrong.

“The day you walked into my life. I knew it was no sacrifice to let you in. I wanted nothing more than to win your heart. And once I had it, my poison ruined everything. So now all I can do is stand here alone with my guitar and sing.

“Don’t cry. I’m not that strong. I can’t stand here when your heat is broken. How I long to be all you need. But instead I’m everything that’s wrong. No, no, don’t cry. I’m not that strong. I can’t stand here, when your heart is broken How I long to be all you need. But instead, I’m everything that’s wrong.”

“And that, my friends, is Jax Stone’s new chart-topping ‘Don’t Cry.’” The D.J.’s voice droned on, and I reached and turned off the radio.

It did hurt. The pain was there. But his voice had been like a balm to my wounds. I had something now that would help ease the hurt. It wouldn’t make it go away, of course, but hearing his voice was enough to ease the pain if only for a short time. I could make it from day to day if I could just hear his voice. If I could just hear my song.