Breathe (Sea Breeze #1)(36)
Ms. Mary cleared her throat. She seemed a little unsure and finally managed to nod. “Mr. Greg will be happy to see you so early.”
I went straight to the laundry and changed. I couldn’t deal with him this morning. I needed time. Besides, I needed to work and didn’t have time to talk. My uniform would be cleaned and pressed, hanging in the closet with all the others. I sifted through until I found mine. Yesterday, when I’d been doing this exact same thing, my heart had been racing wildly, knowing Jax would be waiting on me. So much could happen in a day. My heart broke a little more, and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I could not keep going like this. I needed to find some form of control over my emotions. Why was it when I finally fell in love, I had to choose a teen idol. Couldn’t I be like normal girls and fall in love with a guy from school? Or a guy from work? Take Marcus, for example. Why did my heart have to do the tango for Jax, but not even skip a beat for Marcus? I growled in frustration at my own stupidity. I would find a way to get over this. I buttoned up my shirt and took one more deep calming breath, just in case Jax still sat in the kitchen.
When I opened the door to the laundry room and stepped out, Jax blocked my way. I should have expected him to follow me. Jax Stone didn’t get blown off by a girl. This couldn’t be something he knew how to handle. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t get through without him letting me by, so I backed up to put some distance between us.
“Sadie, please, come talk to me.”
“I need to get to work.”
He reached out for my hand, and I immediately snatched it back and pocketed both of my hands.
“Sadie, please.”
I hated the insecure, little boy I saw in his eyes and the fact it got to me. Dang it. “There is nothing to talk about, Jax. I work here, we are friends, I guess, and you spent some extra time with me. Your girlfriend is here. No big deal. Now, if you will move.”
He took my arms and gently, but firmly, pushed me back into the laundry room and closed the door behind him.
“What are you doing?” I asked when I realized he’d locked us in.
“We need to get a few things clear, and I can’t let you go to work until I know you understand.”
I hated the way he acted as if I needed to be reminded of reality. I stiffened and turned to glare out the window.
“Do you remember when I told you I have to get my picture taken with every female teen star in the vicinity for publicity?”
I didn’t turn or acknowledge his words.
He sighed. “I know you do. Anyway, Star and I have been thrown together since we were fifteen. She is the female me in the teen world, and people like to dream up romances between us. Because we have both spent our teen years in front of the camera, we have become friends.”
Nausea boiled inside me. I didn’t need a reminder that Star would be a much better match for him.
“But friends is all we have ever been. I’m not going to lie because, in the beginning, we did try out a relationship. It seemed natural for us, but it failed miserably. We were able to call it quits and remain friends. I didn’t know she was coming yesterday. She has been in love with a boy from her hometown for years. They have struggled to make things work, but, with her lifestyle, they never had enough time together. She just found out he is getting married next week. He got a girl pregnant, and Star is torn up about it. So she came here to see me. She needed a friend.”
He stopped talking, and I knew I needed to turn around and respond. I just wasn’t sure how, without acting like the hopelessly lovesick idiot I’d become. I took a deep breath and exhaled, hoping to calm my emotions, and turned around.
“You didn’t have to explain anything to me. I’ve known all along you live in a world I know nothing about, nor will I ever know anything about. Even if she is your girlfriend, the only thing you would have been guilty of is kissing someone else. You don’t owe me an explanation. I am just someone you spent time with for a couple of weeks one summer.” I forced a smile and nodded my head toward the door. “Now we have all this cleared up, I need to get to work.”
I stepped toward the exit, and Jax’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak.
“You think you’re just someone I spent time with?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. He looked at me incredulously, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I returned his stare. He seemed angry and hurt. I hated knowing I’d hurt him.
“What am I, then, Jax?” I heard myself whisper. “How can I ever be more than that?”
He pulled me up close to him. “You have been more than that since the night I took you home. You want to know what you are?” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “You’re the person who owns this.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I don’t want to love you,” I forced out through the thickness in my throat.
“God, I hope you do, because you own me completely,” he whispered, and then leaned down and kissed me with such emotion the tears escaped and slid down my face. He held my face as he kissed me, until my knees went weak, and I held on to his arms to keep from falling. When he broke the kiss, he didn’t let me go, thankfully, because, without his support, I would not have had the strength to stand.
“I should have come and told you, but she kept crying and going on and on over everything they had been through. She needed an ear, and I gave her one. I knew when I came to get you last night and you were gone, I’d screwed up. Promise me you won’t ever ride home by yourself again. I sat in your driveway last night after I made sure your bike was there and watched the windows for a long time, wondering which one was yours. If I’d have known, I would have come to you then, but I didn’t want to wake your mom.” He tucked a curl behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch. “I’m trying to make myself let you go before Ms. Mary comes to get you, but you go and shiver at my touch and weaken my resolve to stop holding you.”