Breathe (Sea Breeze #1)(20)
I frowned unsure why all of those things meant he needed to keep me at a distance.
“Sadie, I have always got what I wanted. Even before I became rich and famous, I had a gift for getting what I want. Now, I have the fame and fortune to get what I want when I want it and for the first time in my life, I want something I can’t have.” He gave me a sad smile. “For the first time, the object of what I want is more important than fulfilling my desires.” Before I could form words to reply, he opened a drawer and pulled out several magazines and laid them in front of me. “These are from my mother’s collection,” he explained.
They were pictures of him with movie stars, rock legends, and even the president. His name was linked with several famous females, and his personal life laid bare for everyone to see. I had seen articles like these before, but after actually meeting Jax and finding a real person, it seemed hard to think of him as the rock star the media portrayed.
“See these,” he said with a grimace. “My life isn’t normal. There is no room for me to have a friendship, or any relationship, with someone like you. I want to spend more time with you, and to be honest, friendship isn’t really what I want anymore when it comes to you. I find myself wanting much more, but any girl who enters into a relationship with me has to be cold to put up with the life I am forced to live.” He smiled and walked toward me. “You’re everything I write about in my songs, but can never have.”
I studied the pictures in my lap. It was easier than watching him say things I didn’t want to hear. Even if he was right. If I spent more time with him, I would want more, too, and I didn’t know the guy in those photos. He was someone completely foreign to me. I just knew Jax. The sweet guy who wanted to go into a grocery store and buy himself a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and took the time to be kind to little girls. I’d never be able to fit into his real world. I wanted to disagree, but I couldn’t. He lived in a world I could never fit into, and I couldn’t make myself protest.
He stepped forward and stopped in front of me. “There will be transportation for you out front within moments. Ms. Mary will be given directions to let you leave for the evening. Wipe the frown from your pretty face because, by now, she knows what happened, and she will be worried about you.”
He stepped around me and went to the door. “Stay here as long as you need. I have a room full of guests wondering what I am doing with the gorgeous blond I abducted.” He grinned wickedly at me, and immediately it faded to a sad frown before he left the room.
* * *
Chapter Six
Everything stayed the same. Ms. Mary still gave me a smile and a hot breakfast every morning. Mr. Greg told me stories of his time in World War II and beat me at chess most days. Marcus and I still talked on our way home at night. I even went waterskiing and knee boarding with Marcus, Preston, Rock, Trisha, and Dwayne on Sunday. But even with new friends and a job with people I really cared about, my life seemed to be missing something. There was a void, and I knew why. The frustrating part was I missed him. I’d forced myself to come to grips with the fact I’d lost my heart to Jax Stone the night in the grocery store. The night in the library when he admitted to having an interest in me put another nail in my coffin. I loved Jax. He starred in my dreams both day and night. My heart raced at the chance of a glimpse of him. His words haunted me. Those times when I couldn’t believe Jax would ever notice me enough to want me. I remembered the sadness in his eyes when he walked out the door, and I really believed he meant it.
Nothing changed the fact I worked in his home. He signed my paychecks. If nothing else but for those two reasons, anything between Jax and I would be impossible. Yet those weren’t the only two. I would never fit into his world.
I sat out on the beach, waiting for Marcus to finish his shift so he could take me home. Mr. Greg left early due to his not feeling well. It left me with nothing to do. I pulled my knees up under my chin and enjoyed the view. The waves were smooth tonight. I let myself think about Jax and his face when he smiled. It helped to remember him smiling and happy, instead of the expression on his face when he left me in the library. It was depressing enough to be a Shakespearean tragedy. The girl who never thought she would fall in love falls for the guy who can never love her back. Somehow, the fact I sat here comparing my life to Shakespeare proved just how badly I’d fallen.
Footsteps drew my attention out of my Jax-centered thoughts, and I realized Marcus must be finished. I didn’t turn around. I stayed put and waited until he stopped behind me. “Beautiful view, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is. Are you in a hurry to get home, or can we enjoy it together?”
He shrugged and sank down beside me. I smiled to myself when I realized he wasn’t very graceful either. I was more on common ground with Marcus than with Jax. Even if he didn’t make me get goose bumps and go all warm and tingly. Those feelings were addictive, and they couldn’t be healthy.
We watched in silence for a few minutes before Marcus turned to me. I met his gaze and smiled. My friend. That thought made me smile even bigger. He sighed and shook his head.
“What?” I asked confused.
He gave me a sheepish grin. “Sadie, when you smile at me it makes my heart do crazy things.” He blushed and flicked his gaze back toward the water. “I know I'm three years older than you, but you seem so much older than your age.” He took a deep breath. “Okay here goes, I'm trying to prepare myself for the set down, so bear with me.”