Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)(116)

“Do you want me to go?”

His face showed actual shock at her conclusion. “How could you think that? I don’t want you to leave. That’s the exact opposite of what I want.”

“Ramsey punched John at Chyna’s wedding. I don’t want him to come here and do that to you. You don’t deserve it when you’ve been nothing but supportive of me through all of this.”

“My attorney would probably love for Ramsey to come and beat the shit out of me,” he said with a sad laugh. “Then, we might be able to do something about this situation the Bridges are throwing on my table.”

“What are they doing?”

“Besides Bekah divorcing me? Besides trying to take me for every penny I’m worth? Besides dragging my name through the mud? Besides all but forcing me out of the company?” he asked.

“They can’t fire you over this!” Lexi cried.

“Oh no, they’re not firing me. They’re just strongly encouraging me to seek employment elsewhere.”

Lexi’s mouth dropped open. “They can’t do that.”

“And why not? They own half of Atlanta. They’re not going to get in trouble for kicking out one employee. And even if it came to that, they would just get a pat on the hand, saying don’t do that again. It’s okay. Really. This whole situation has made me see things very clearly,” he told her. “Seven months separated from Bekah, and I see the kind of person she is. I get what you were saying all along.”

That she was a lying, conniving, manipulative bitch? Yes, that was what she had been saying all along. She was so glad that Jack was really realizing all of this, but she did hate that he had to get hurt so much to realize it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You’re the last person to blame.” He reached forward and cupped her chin, tilting her face back up to his. “You tried to tell me. I was the one who didn’t listen.”

“I’m just sorry that you’re going through this,” she said, gazing back up into those eyes.

“And I’m sorry that I hurt you, Lex.” He sighed and stroked his thumb down her cheek instinctually. “You’ve been hurt too much by too many people.”

Lexi blinked back tears and pulled away from him. “We should go to sleep,” she whispered.

“Not yet. I wanted to talk to you,” he said with a sigh. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot since you’ve been here, thinking about how we were, how we are.”

She turned her head and assessed him. He was staring at her with some fierce intensity. He hadn’t been waiting up to tell her about Ramsey. He had been waiting up to talk to her about whatever was on his mind now.

“What about us?” That word felt so foreign yet so familiar.

“Let me try to get this out. I…I had this idea in my head that it would never work out between us. I wanted it. I really f**king wanted it. But I just couldn’t see it happening, Lex,” he murmured softly.

Lexi’s heart tightened at his words. Just what she wanted to hear. He wanted it, but it was never going to happen. Hadn’t she known that from the start?

“Well, thank for your honesty,” she said sarcastically. She couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said, reaching out for her.

She moved away from him. He had said he didn’t want to hurt her, and then he tossed this out. Like she could handle anything else this week.

“I’ll try to explain. I can admit that I was really messed-up from my parents’ divorce. My parents were so completely, totally, madly in love. I’ve heard stories from family friends about how they were so cute that they were disgusting. I’ve heard it from both of them that they just got married too young, they were too in love, they didn’t know what they were in for. They thought that the love and passion were enough, that it would carry them through,” he said softly, “but it didn’t.”

Lexi gulped. She didn’t know this part of his history. She knew about the divorce, of course, but not about his parents being in love—at least not like this.

“I thought after it all went to shit that I was never going to be like them. Not ever. I wasn’t going to just give in to someone like that. I’d find someone solid, stable…”

“Predictable,” Lexi offered.

“Very much so. It wasn’t that I wasn’t invested or that I didn’t love the people when I was with them, but it wasn’t right. In every new relationship, I tried harder and harder, and it just seemed to get worse and worse. It seemed like I had to push at every step to make it work…when things should have just fit together.”

He sighed and met her gaze. She could feel the waves of emotions rolling off of him.

“Well, look, I pushed so hard that I married someone without that passion, without the burning drive, and it’s all f**ked-up, too, Lex. It didn’t matter that my parents loved each other because they let that love die. I never had it with Bekah…I’ve only had it with you. And I don’t want to let it die, Lex. Not ever.”

Lexi smacked him in the chest. “I can’t believe you would say this stuff to me right now. After what—nine or ten years, you finally realize how dumb you were? You finally realize that I’m the one you want? I’m no saint, but you’re an ass**le,” she whispered.