Allegiance (Causal Enchantment #3)(32)
“Go ahead,” Julian answered, his own voice taking on that cocky harshness he’d used with me upon our first meeting. “Are we okay?” he asked softly, grabbing my hands and squeezing.
I answered with a small smile. “Yeah, we’re okay. Or we will be.”
He struggled to stand, using my shoulder as leverage, and then walked past Caden without even a glimpse in his direction, disappearing inside. Caden, on the other hand, glared after him the entire way. Only when Julian was gone did Caden step into the gazebo. “I know we seem cold and heartless sometimes, but …,” he began, his voice drifting off as he took the seat Julian had just vacated.
I gazed at his profile, at this beautiful but tortured creature. I was bursting to touch him. To lean up against him, to feel the contours of his shoulders beneath my fingers, to nuzzle my nose into his neck. Yet that little voice inside my head warned me against it for so many reasons. You’re no good for him! It whispered. You’re morphing! Soon, your touch will kill him! It reminded me. You may as well let him go now! Gritting my teeth, incapable of controlling myself, my hand cautiously reached forward, halting inches away from his, unable to close the distance. My throat clenched as jade eyes shifted to lock on my face, revealing nothing about the thoughts behind them. They slid down to study my hand hovering dangerously close to his but still, silence. Say something, Caden. Anything.
Suddenly, his fingers closed over my hand. He squeezed tightly, the contact waking up my entire body. I released the breath I’d been holding for far too long. My touch wouldn’t harm him yet. I leaned in against him.
“You guys are right. I know that. I just overreacted.” I admitted, pressing my forehead to his cheek, inhaling his scent. Caden’s body shifted as he wrapped his arm around my back. He didn’t speak.
“Girlfriend, huh?” I smiled, peering up shyly into his beautiful face. He returned the smile but I couldn’t help notice the twinkle missing from his eye, in its place, disquiet. Something was bothering him. I felt my own smile fading in reaction. He scooped me up and pulled me onto his lap, his strong arms wrapped around my waist.
“Do you know what drew me to you?” he asked quietly, his eyes rolling over my entire face, pausing on my mouth.
“My humanlike qualities,” I said, grinning.
“Well, I guess so.” He paused. “You are so human … so innocent.”
“You mean naïve?”
One side of his mouth raised into a half-smile. But then the smile melted away, replaced with a stony mask. “I mean honest. It’s like you couldn’t lie. I loved that about you.”
Couldn’t. Loved. Past tense. My stomach did a nosedive into my frozen feet as dread surged. I didn’t know what was coming next, but I sensed it wouldn’t be good. Caden’s gaze shifted away from me. My mouth worked around a few words but finally gave up, incapable of forming them.
“Your honesty is what sets you apart from all the deception swirling around us. All the lies, the deceit. The vampires. This life that I’ve lived for seven hundred years. I knew I could trust you not to lie to me … until now.”
Like an arrow driven through my heart, Caden’s words paralyzed me with their crippling pain. The cold no longer mattered. I felt nothing but utter and complete wretchedness. “You can trust me,” I whispered, forcing the words past the giant lump in my throat. “I would never lie to you.” Liar! You’re lying right now! Omission is lying!
Caden’s jaw tightened. He paused before speaking again, as if hesitating. “Maybe not lie but … there’s something you’re not telling me. About Julian.”
My insides spilled out of my feet now and hit the cold snowy ground. Even with the Tribe’s magic masking my secrets, that inner toil over holding Julian’s secret was still obvious enough to Caden. Again, my mouth opened to speak but failed to form the much-needed words of defense. How could I deny it without it being a lie?
Caden’s hand found its way to my chin. Pinching it, he turned my face to meet his again. “I tried to kill you, Evangeline,” he said slowly.
I frowned, confused by the sudden change of topic. “Yes, but—”
He cut me off with a soft shushing sound. “And then you were sent out into exile for an indefinite time. It could have been forever. You knew nothing about what was going on. For all you knew, I was a blood-crazed evil maniac who had used you to get here. You were imprisoned with that guy. He’s not bad-looking, I guess.” Resentment seeped into his voice. “I’d understand if something … happened.”
“Happened?” I echoed, trying to get his meaning, my brow crinkling as I focused on the ground beside us, thoroughly confused.
“You know … between you two?”
Happened … My jaw dropped as the realization hit me. Of all things, I hadn’t expected that. Caden was … jealous? Seriously? I turned to find him watching me, his face expressionless, unreadable, but his stare screaming loudly. He believed there was something more to Julian and me than friendship, and he was jealous! Of course! No wonder he’d acted that way around Julian! If this wasn’t such a serious situation, I may have laughed. Caden? Like I could so much as bat an eye at another man after you?
Before I could speak, Caden started again, his jaw taut. “Don’t deny it, Eve. Don’t you dare even think about it. I heard you guys talking. Now. Before, when we first got here. I heard it all. And the looks you give him every time he’s with Amelie. Like you can’t stand it …”