A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(58)

I almost can’t hold his gaze, the desperate way he watches me now.

“At first,” he says, “I didn’t know you were a Forgotten. When I realized, I still couldn’t stay away, even though I tried. Shadows were after you; I saw them myself. I wanted to protect you.”

“And my sister?” I ask.

“I didn’t know she was your sister until the day I came here. When she saw me with you, Lucy was furious. She was afraid I’d tell you what she was, begged me not to. It’s my duty. I keep her secrets, Elise. She was my Forgotten.”

“I could have helped.”

“Are you sure?” he asks. “Are you sure you could have sent your sister into the light? Could you have really let her go?”

I don’t know the answer. Instead sickness washes over me, the devastation of the situation settling in, twisting my insides. My life—my life—is falling away. My sister may be gone forever, or really, something much worse. My poor father, who has dedicated his life to helping others, to loving us, will lose his entire family. It’s too much for me to bear. It’s all just too much.

When I’m calmer, I get to my feet and walk about my sister’s room again. In the trash, I see a picture. It’s when I pick it up that I know. I smile sadly at the photo of me and Lucy from last summer. We were up in Colorado Springs—hiking to a waterfall. My father had snapped the picture. We stand there dressed in tank tops and baseball caps, grinning madly with our arms over each other’s shoulders. Her image isn’t the least bit faded. She’s a Shadow.

No one will forget her now, but she probably doesn’t know the consequences. Know that she’ll have to spread evil in return.

I tuck the picture into my back pocket. I turn to Harlin, feeling a mixture of anger and love for him. I hate to see him so broken, but at the same time I’m not sure I can forget that he kept this from me.

“We were supposed to be honest with each other,” I say. “We were going to tell each other everything.”

“I understand if you can’t forgive me,” Harlin murmurs. “But I don’t think I can survive you not loving me anymore.”

I nearly sway with the grief in his words. But I won’t make him feel better right now. I need to wait for my sister—I need her to know that I’ll be here for her no matter what she’s become. “Get out of my house,” I say.

There is a hint of memory wanting to come out, but I don’t let it. Instead it fills me with knowledge. I suddenly know that Harlin has always bottled everything up—the pain from his father’s death, from my leap from the bridge. He never lets anyone see what’s breaking inside, but I always could. There was a time when all I wanted was to take away his pain. But in front of me now is the remains of a guy who gave up—only to find a reason to go on again. Me. But I can’t save him. I never could.

I walk out of the room then, forcing away my feelings. All I let myself think about is Lucy—and how I’ll fix this somehow. I don’t care what my destiny is. There has to be a way.

When I open the front door and wait, Harlin emerges from Lucy’s room, his face blotchy, drawn. I think that it’s dangerous for him to ride his motorcycle, but then decide that he’s an adult. He can take care of himself.

“I’m staying with Monroe at the Sunset Motel,” he says quietly as he pauses in front of me, unable to meet my eyes. “If you need me—”

I step back, not acknowledging that I do need him, but won’t have him. I think that maybe we love each other too much. That it causes us to be reckless and stupid. That in the end, maybe we’re just not meant to be.

“Good-bye, Harlin,” I say. And when he walks out onto the porch, I slam the door behind him.

I wait on the couch for my sister. I don’t call my father, unsure of what I’d even tell him. Now that Lucy’s a Shadow, he’ll remember everything about her. But what will he think when he sees her? What will she be like now?

The hours pass, and I glance at the clock. My father said he’d be working late, but I hope he stays out all night. I’m afraid of what will happen if he’s here. When my eyes begin to slide shut, I go to my room.

I lean back into my pillows, trying to keep all of the misery out of my thoughts. But soon, I drift off to sleep. Unable to wait any longer.

* * *

I’m in the middle of Main Street. Santo’s is to my right as a tumbleweed rushes past, bouncing out of my line of vision. My hair blows in the wind, and when I hear his voice, I look up to see Abe dressed in black—his hair slick—standing in front of me.

“I guess it didn’t work, huh?” he asks.

“What didn’t work?” I ask, taking a step back from him. I used to be grateful to see Abe, but his perfection frightens me now. Especially since I know what he is.

“Killing your boyfriend,” he says. “He must be pretty good on that Harley.”

“You caused his accident? Why?”

He scoffs. “Isn’t it obvious? I called dibs.”

I move farther back, the cement ice-cold under my bare feet. “You can’t claim me.”

“See”—he puts his hands casually in his pockets—“that’s where you’re wrong, querida. You’re mine. Just because he’s a Seer doesn’t mean he can have you. You’re not his Forgotten.”